Letterbox
by LePetitPappillon
Summary: Elizaveta is forced into an arranged marriage for her country, but what of her heart?
1. Chapter 1

"I'm getting married tomorrow."

"…I know."

Despite the all the fuss over my wedding, I had never mentioned it to Gilbert. There was no doubt he was aware, but I could never force my lips to form the words to tell him myself. Whenever the thought came into my mind, a needle stitched my lips together and I was unable to pry them apart.

"…Elizaveta?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I know."

We were posed under an old peach tree, watching the sun as it set on my final hours as a free woman. The sky had been dyed with the most gorgeous pastels, and with each moment, the hues burned darker. As light was fleeting, emotions grew more vivid.

"Gilbert…"

"Yes?"

"I love you too."

"I know." A hand found mine in the lush mess, and fingers tangled. "Do you remember when we used to hate each other…? It almost seems ironic…"

"…I wish we still did."

"…It would make everything easier…Wouldn't it?"

Gilbert expressed many times over his thoughts of my future husband. I tried not to have a bias opinion, so I mostly listened, being as pleasant as I possibly could be.

"…If he's not gentle with you…" My companion began, his hand grasping mine, "I'll knock his face in."

"…What am I supposed to expect?" No one had told me of how my wedding night was to occur. Asking a man wasn't the most preferred option, but the time was leaking away, and perhaps expecting what was to come would alleviate my concerns.

"…I don't think I'm the right person to ask…" Lips were given generously to my upper cheek.

"No…please…I'm so nervous…"

There was a slight pause. "…It won't be so bad…At least, I don't think. The first time will probably be the worst…but it's better after that…You might even enjoy it, but I doubt it with that idiot Roderich…"

There were no words to share, although there were many questions I was too shy to release.

Gilbert's hand left mine and without warning, our mouths touched.

"Don't worry…It only breaks my heart even more."

I loved how very unpredictable he was. Almost all of his kisses were unexpected, and I adored how he was never afraid to give his lips to me.

"I'm sorry…" I said.

"…Why?"

"…Because I can't belong to you…"

"You can belong to me now…At least that counts for something…" Black gloved hands held my face, and multiple kisses were laid gently upon my cheeks.

We lingered with the sun, watching as it sank below the mountains and confiscating all of those lovely pastels. Stars dappled the sky, and I was still nailed to his side. Most times like this, tears would mar my eyes, but for Gilbert, all my crying had been done and I was left with subdued depression.

"…I have to go…" The statement was true, but legs still wouldn't let me stand.

"…I'm going to find a way to see you…"

My mouth was barren.

"I'm going to find a way to see you, and if he ever hurts you, I'm going to steal you away…"

"…Gilbert…" I had to turn away. "…Are you coming tomorrow?"

"…No. I always cry at weddings."

"…So do I…"

A pause. "…I love you."

"…I love you too." Finally, I forced myself from the ground. "…But I really must go…"

My wrist was caught by gentle fingers. I turned to see Gilbert looking at me, eyes full of deep emotion. He didn't move his lips. He didn't have to.

"…I'm sorry…" My voice was soft.

"…Elizaveta…You're going to be beautiful tomorrow…I wish I could see you…"

"…I'll send you a photograph…"

"Thank you."

We were lost in each other's eyes, pain at a mutual understanding. Finally, my arm was returned.

"…Goodbye."

"…Goodbye..."

Gilbert was left under the peach tree.

That night, I sat in my room, staring at a reflection in the mirror. Tomorrow I would be devoted to a man a barely knew …He was a musician…He was frugal…And he was Austrian…

I began to wonder what thoughts were coursing through his mind. He had been married several times before me. It must have been just another ceremony. Only another hassle…

Would he appreciate having me as a bride?

And for a moment, I truly did wish my country willed me to be with Gilbert. I wanted to wear that elegant white dress for his eyes. I wanted to be brushed ever so softly by the blades of his fingers, and to be touched by his affectionate lips…Instead, I would be property to the man he hated most.

I lied amongst my sheets, sleep refusing to claim me with eyes closed as energy washed from my grasp.


	2. Chapter 2

A white veil hung over my eyes, and power adorned my cheeks. I no longer resembled myself. It was as if I was wearing a gorgeous mask, and as soon as I removed it, I would again become plain.

I was standing inside a room amongst a few other girls, who were chatting frivolously with one another. They were all incredible beauties, and next to them I felt as a dandelion in a garden of roses. I wondered if my husband would find me lovely…

As we prepared to walk out, a man entered, carrying with him a camera. We all looked to his direction, but he waved us away as though we were pests. A few words were mumbled and our bodies followed orders.

My heart was beginning to beat as if it would burst. My poor hands were shaking, causing the bouquet to quiver. The thoughts rushing into my mind were incoherent and saturated with worry.

And I was frozen to the spot. It felt as if time itself has stopped moving and we would all stand as statues until our hearts ceased to work.

Finally, the music began, and I forced my legs to move forward. As soon as the doors parted, my back became straight, reminded of my duty to represent my country. Yes…they would admire me…I would be a dutiful wife and always behave as a lady. I was beginning a new life today, and I refused to mar it with mistakes.

It was by far the longest walk I had ever experienced. Everyone's eyes were focused on me, as if I was a bright star in a world full of darkness. They were whispering, and I truly hoped for their words to be kind.

I stopped walking when I was parallel to the man at the alter, and there was a brief silence before the priest began his dialogue. I didn't think anyone was actually listening. I certainly couldn't. My heart was far more audible, and my attention was stolen by the attractive man before me.

Two soul stealing sapphires were giving me their glance, and I was falling victim to their tricks. What gorgeous eyes! The question of their authenticity came to mind, and I wouldn't help but let my lip drop. My gaze rolled over his other features…Pale skin…a well formed nose and pretty pink lips…and under those lips was a perfect little mark…My husband's face was framed with dark luscious hair, which was finished with a pair of glasses comfortably sitting upon his nose.

But despite his allure, my thoughts were given to a certain Prussian man, and sadness took possession of me.

"Roderich." The priest spoke, catching our attention. He was given vows and he recited them back with a velvet voice while my hand was taken into gentle captivity. His eyes gave equal attention to the holy man and me.

"Elizaveta…"

I was given the same vows and went through the same ritual, my shaking a bit within his. Amazingly, my voice was steady. The pressure must have been securing it. As I spoke, gloved fingers brushed past my bare skin, and more crimson was thrown upon my face.

The final words left the safety of my lips, and a ring was slipped gently upon my finger. The veil before my eyes was lifted, and before a coherent thought could enter my mind, our lips were pressing together. Warmth filled my body and turned my face rosy.

We were leaving with connected fingers, all of Austria and Hungary cheering around us. I couldn't even begin to fathom what had just occurred.

Our feet had finally stopped, and we were in a secluded space, eyes absorbing each other.

This was my husband. This was the man who was going to deflower me. This was the man who would give me children…It was as if my heart was surrounded in petals, and each one of them would be plucked by white gloved fingers.

"…Hello…" My voice was timid.

"Hello."

"…I'm Elizaveta."

"And I'm Roderich."

We shook hands, ridiculous grins lining our lips.

"You're quite lovely, Elizaveta."

"Thank you…You're very handsome yourself, Roderich…"

Awkward moments fleeted as we progressed down the hall, arms locked together. We had a bit of time to become familiar with one another before our reception, and I was uncertain as to what we were supposed to do.

"You have a very lovely home."

"Thank you. I'm glad you think so."

As we passed through the halls, I let my eyes take in everything. There were complex drawings of family members past and expensive looking vases with fresh flowers inside of them. I had yet to see such a gorgeous place…I was told Roderich was a frugal man, but it was impossible to even consider while walking through these halls.

It was difficult to imagine myself here. I had never lived in a house so spectacular, if it could even be called a house…

"…May I ask you something?"

"I think you already have."

I couldn't keep the smile from my mouth. "…I'm sorry…But where are we going?"

"To sign a piece of paper…" The same grin affected him. "We still have to sign the registration form, but then we can do whatever we like."

"…Can we sit down…? This dress is quite heavy…"

"Certainly. We're almost there."

We arrived inside another lovely room, with sunlight bathing the walls through a soft pearl curtain. There was a man who looked as if he was anticipating our presence. There was a golden key secured tightly in his gloved hand, and a sort of bureau before him.

"Hello, Master Edelstein."

"Hello."

The key was utilized to open one of the drawers, and a single sheet of parchment was removed, along with a feather and a well of ink.

The servant moved to the door, as we progressed towards the waiting form. My husband was first to sign his name, and I observed how very precise his writing was. The quill was careful as it wrote the last few letters, and was surrendered to my fingers with the open well of black water. Just as carefully, I wrote my name, the text somewhat bigger and without grace. My cheeks filled with red. It was as if I simply couldn't function, being in this mansion and put in the presence of this aristocrat.

As soon as the pen was set upon the polished wood, I felt his lips at my cheek.

Were husbands and wives supposed to kiss each other so shamelessly? He would know better than I…

When his lips left my enflamed skin, I turned to him with a smile painted upon my mouth. Perhaps he wasn't the man I wanted to marry, but it was clear that he was kind. At least my life would be pleasant, and it was very possible to learn to love.

And for a moment, we simply stared at one another, guilt coming over me like a violent wave. I shouldn't have thought him to be so attractive…

"We can sit down now if you'd like…"

"Oh, thank you…"

Again, my fingers were stolen from me while we stepped towards the door and went. I was being led down the same hall the opposite way, and without nearly as many steps required. We stopped outside a door, and the man by my side pulled a silver key from his pocket and put it easily into the lock. This chamber was especially wondrous, with a luxurious red couch in the center and gorgeous flowers painted upon the walls. There were a number of decorations around the room, one being a large mirror hanging from the western wall. What this room was possibly used for, I wasn't certain, but that didn't stop its beauty from stealing my breath.

"Welcome to my secret room…"

"…A secret room?"

"It's very useful when I don't want to be bothered…You can use it as well, if you like."

"Thank you…"

"Please sit down."

Roderich left me to stand while paced across the room to a wine rack. Disregarding his behavior, I gave my back to a crimson cushion and made certain to preserve my complex curls. My posture was nearly perfect.

I was joined by a man carrying two wine glasses and an expensive looking bottle. The thought of loosing my virginity now came to mind. Was that what he was trying to accomplish? We had a very expansive amount of time, and with nothing immediate presenting itself, it seemed to be an option to consider. Why else would a man be so romantic with a woman, and no less behind a locked door?

"…Would you like me to get undressed?"

"What? No…No, no. Why do you think that?"

"…I'm not sure exactly…" I had to move my focus elsewhere, nerves jolting.

"…Excuse me for speaking so lewdly, but I don't plan to ask such a thing until tonight…I simply thought you might like something to drink."

"Oh…My apologies…"

"It's alright…" The bottle was opened, and richly colored liquid drained into a glass, which was given to me.

"Thank you."

Another was prepared, and the rims of our glasses touched with a clean note. We both took a polite sip.

I wasn't sure what words this man wanted to hear. Perhaps he preferred a woman with her lips shut. I would play either roll.

We sat there several long moments, sipping wine between short conversations. We stayed until the sun began its descent, the sky once again turning into a complex and magnificent array of colors. The alcohol had taken a gentle hold of me, but my composure was still very well intact.

My husband was first to stand, placing the empty bottle on the rug near one of his feet. I was lifted to my heels, which bit at me harshly and caused my feet to weep. Even my mild intoxication couldn't deflect their nonsensical revenge.

As we made our way to the ballroom, the voices of our several guests grew louder and louder in anticipation. Their noises were merry, and my heart was overflowing with joy.

Elegantly dressed servants pulled at brass handles and the doors before us were opened. As our feet past the threshold, everyone grew silent, spectators to our nervous waltz. And all so suddenly, they broke out in cheer, hands slapping together as we took our places as man and wife at the head table.

When everyone had finally settled down, and the air grew quiet, my husband stood. "Thank you all very much for coming! I hope you're all having a fabulous time, and may the union between Austria and Hungary be forever blessed!"

More eccentric cheers and faces brimming with smiles…Sides of forks het crisply against crystal glasses and I came to my feet to press my lips to the man standing beside me. The excitement in the room was fed and grew even livelier. So many people were here, and almost all of them had their eyes set on my silken dress. They were all so ecstatic for us…My heart welled with warm emotion.

And perhaps I should have been saturated in guilt, but I simply couldn't bring myself to be unhappy. My face was unable to hold a frown.

The night progressed with joyous faces and an excess of mingling. Everyone was compelled to tell me how gorgeous I was, what a fine dress I was wrapped in, what a wonderful wife I would make…It was as if my sorrows leading this day were washed away and in their place came a plethora of hopes for our union.

We all danced and laughed together…I refused to let them down…

Near the end of our party, people were trickling from the room, and I came to the realization that I would soon be undressed and taken. A horrible shiver rushed down my spine and my feet almost lost their comfortable place on the floor.

"Are you alright, Elizaveta?" My husband was pink in the face. "…Have you had too much wine?"

"Oh, no…I'm alright…"

A kiss was stolen from me, and my hand was captured as well. "I'm glad."

Eventually, all of our guests had gone, and we were left to linger in a ballroom being swept up by loyal servants. Sweet intoxication left me, and every nerve became aware.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"…Yes…I am…"

I was carried off, finally finding relief from my aching feet, but no ease to my worried mind. My heart was accelerating and if I lost my consciousness in his very grasp, there would be no complaints.

The door to our room was opened and I was set securely on my heels. Without the exchange of words, Roderich removed the veil from my complex web of curls. His movements were slow, and I began to wonder if all of this was truly occurring.

"Please…be gentle with me…" A voice infested with quivers exited the confines of my scarlet lips.

"…Of course. We don't have to move quickly. I intend to be careful with you…"

"Thank you." Hands pressed softly to my figure as laces were carefully taken away from my complex outfit. As I was unraveled, my mind became a well deep with the blackness of confusion. I was afraid, but some part of me was happy, and yet misery had its way with me. But most of all, I was relieved to have my body free of this weighty mess of elegant frills.

I was disassembled in layers, and finally, I stood before him in nude glory. From impulse, my arms covered my shivering chest and I looked at him with so many questions livid in my eyes, which were all answered with a grace of sweet lips.

"Please don't look so nervous…" An open palm found my shoulder blade, offering me an odd sort of comfort. "You might actually enjoy some part of this…"

"…I'm sorry…" My syllables still came out malleable.

"…Go lie down. I'll join you in a moment."

I moved across the room, my body submerged in an ocean of soft sheets. I lied my head upon a welcoming pillow filled with feathers and forced my arms away from my naked breasts. My stare was afflicted to the man across the room, who was discarding his clothing as a snake escaping its worn skin.

If only that man could be Gilbert…perhaps I wouldn't have been so frightened.

Roderich was free of his garments, and took a place next to mine, both of us lying idle a long moment. But finally, I felt a hand at my waist as he mounted me. Our lips pressed softly in union. His warmth was hovering above me…

Mouths dropped, and our tongues twisting together. We drew each other closer, eyes closing tightly.

This felt…fantastic…

Lips parted and there was heat at my neck, devouring me as soft touches found my breasts. How could someone so comfortably reach for a woman's bosom? Was the first night supposed to be so free of awkward tension?

Roderich was leaving a pretty trail of kissed across my stomach and moistness was forming in between my legs. This had happened only a few times before, and was mostly accompanied by the image of my Prussian.

Finally, his lips were touching gently to my thighs, and I resisted an overpowering compulsion to close my legs and turn away. This was becoming almost too much…and this was certainly not the limit.

There was something wet at my most private of spot, and in surprise I yelped, retreating only a short distance.

"Was that your-"

"Yes…It was my tongue…Do you mind?"

"…No…I'm sorry…It just surprised me…I wasn't aware one could do that…"

"Well…would you like me to continue?"

I was truly unsure of what to say. It seemed as if my lips weren't willing to express my desires…Perhaps I simply didn't know what those desires were.

"…If you don't like it, you can ask me to stop…"

"…Oh…well, alright…"

And again, something wet and lusty was pressed to me, and in such a way that caused my mouth to open. What a horribly wonderful sensation…

Minutes past, each moment filled with soft moans and few spoken words. In the height of my pleasure, my body reacted in a way I can't possibly describe, and the man who had caused this ecstasy stopped.

"Are you ready?"

"…Ready?" That word made me shake even more profusely. My face must have illuminated the entire room…

"Mmm…" Warm hands slipped past my curves. "Yes. Ready…"

"Is…Is this going to hurt?"

A smile graced his pretty lips, which were given to me shortly after. "…Yes…But the first time is the only time that it does…Afterwards, you'll enjoy it."

"…I…will?"

"Well, I certainly hope so…" I received another touch of the lips.

"…Alright…" My eyes closed and my legs widened. "…I'm ready…"

"…Please don't be so nervous…" A kiss. "I'll try my best to make it as painless as possible…"

"…Alright…"

There was an odd series of noises, and my eyes opened to find my husband preparing himself. Again, my face flushed heavily.

"You don't have to do that…I mean…That's what I'm for…isn't it?"

"Well, perhaps next time…" I felt something between my legs, pressing gently into my opening.

"Mmm…" I bit my lips and turned my head away, wishing I had more time to mentally ready myself.

As he slipped in, pain possessed my senses and caused me to cry out. My arms took his torso into their custody, and fingernails found places against his soft back. My lips spread wide, this horrid feeling being almost too much to bear...And he had hardly even moved.

Roderich had kept his promise. Every movement of his hips was careful, and I tried my hardest not to cut into him with my nails. Little moans came from his parted lips, and despite my discomfort, I was happy at least one of us could enjoy this. Once, he had even stopped to kiss me, his passion flowing lovingly into my mouth.

And finally, he came to a sudden halt, an unmistakably expression inhabiting his face. He looked at me with eyes possessed by pleasure, and removed himself, landing limp next to me.

Roderich's nude body took mine into a comforting embrace and kisses were placed neatly all around my mouth and cheeks. And suddenly, tears flooded my eyes.

I was married to a man I was barely familiar with, and I was just claimed as his. Perhaps I should have been happy with his kindness, for it seemed to be immeasurable…But how could I be when I was forced to close the door on an already passionate relationship? Before the idea of this union was even conceived, I had always imagined that Gilbert would be the one wrapped so pleasantly around me at this moment…

And it was too late…My blood had already been spilled, and so were the hopes of ever belonging to that Prussian man I had surrendered so much of my heart to…

My love for him still surged through my body as crimson liquid, and what was supposed to be the most joyous day of my life was marred with that very same love.

"…Please don't cry…Was I too rough?"

"No…no…It's not you…"

"Are you sure?" I was given a kiss. "…Because I'll understand if it is…I know I'm far too hideous for a beauty like you, but I'm not so bad…"

Through my pain came laughter. "…You're not ugly at all…"

"…Well…I hope you feel better soon…I'd hate to think I was the one to make you cry…" His soft hand grazed my nude back. "…I was going to surprise you tomorrow…but we're going on a honey moon tomorrow in Vienna…"

"…We are?"

He nodded and gave his lips to me once more. "…I think you'll like it there…It really is lovely…"

"…Thank you…" More tears came, and I wasn't sure if they were from my pain or joy. I wasn't expecting a honeymoon. I came into this relationship aware of my husband's busy position…

Regardless, my arms were given up to him and we kissed with as much passion as my mouth could produce…


	3. Chapter 3

My hair was a disorderly nest of rotting flowers and askew diamonds. I rose to find my horrid curls sprawled in front of my eyes shamelessly, and a new husband sleeping peacefully. My gaze was afflicted all around our new bedroom, seeing a pile of discarded wedding garments strewn upon the floor, with soft morning light bathing them in its golden rays.

A sigh.

What a terribly beautiful mess.

Without waking the sleeping man at my side, I found my way to the edge of the room, a mirror waiting patiently for my attention. It was lined with pretty silver engravings and as my reflection came into it, I felt as if I inhabited the wrong looking glass. What a gorgeous mirror, and what a fine mess. The flowers were plucked savagely from my shining crown of golden brown locks, and joined the floor with their petals leaving them to lick at my bare toes.

Paces away, a man stirred, the blanket barely covering his hips. I blushed and turned away, remembering the feelings I had looking at his manhood when it was shrouded in darkness…

I tore the diamond studded pins from the strong hold of my curls, and freed a few willing sections. They brushed against my back in tangles, and regret came over me for not removing them the previous night.

There was more stirring under the silken sheets of our bed, indicated by the sensual rustling of fabric.

"…Where are you?"

"…I'm here…" I answered, releasing another shining mass. "By the mirror…"

"…What are you doing over there?" More quiet whispers come from the sheets, and I heard the soft pressing of feet to marble.

"…I'm getting all of these things from my hair…" The desire to speak with a naked man wasn't very high. I simply wanted to bathe and dress myself. If only he would have remained sleeping…

Of course, Roderich approached and stopped when he was directly behind me, his fingers joining the mass attached to my poor aching head.

"…I'll help you…"

"Thank you…"

It was surprising how gentle he was able to be, considering I was nearly loosing hair simply trying to remove those cruel barrettes…

"These rose petals look pretty around your feet…" He commented.

Would I be out of line to ask him not to speak?

"…Thank you…"

Our hands were busy until the last diamonds were taken from the clutches of yesterday's beauty. My hair was left hanging in clumps and tangles around my hips, and I knew many more sighs were to pollute the morning.

"…We have to get ready soon…" Roderich's reflection was stroking through my ruined tresses, eyes lusty.

"…May I ask you something…? You might consider it rude…And I truly don't mean to be…"

"Yes. You may…"

"…Will…Will you please stop? I feel extremely uncomfortable…"

His hands dropped the admiration in his eyes was replaced by a dull kind of pain. Yes…I had hurt him. An injection of guilt was shot directly into my chest.

"…I'm sorry…" His voice had become solemn, and he turned away. "…We'll be leaving at twelve…I'll have breakfast made…"

"No…wait…" My body turned as well. Despite my awkward feelings, I didn't want to ruin this morning.

He faced me, and I felt completely out of line. This man had already taken my body…and it wasn't as if would never occur again. We were wed, and what discomfort there was should have already been erased.

"…I'm sorry…I suppose I'm being foolish..." There was a silence. "…Would you like to bathe with me?" I felt as if I had to repent. That look in those gorgeous eyes had shot me straight through my nerves. If I didn't take that melancholy away, I knew our honey moon would be a trial neither of us would find enjoyable.

"…Would you like me to bathe with you?" His tone held only a few thorns, but they were still stabbing through what could have been gentle words.

"…Yes…I would…" I tried to make my voice kind. "…Please…Disregard what I said… I already like you very much…"

"…Do you?"

"Yes."

"…Then may I kiss you?"

"Yes. Please."

The space between our bodies was lessened, and our lips touched softly. Tongues weren't involved. Just a simple kiss…

"Thank you."

And as if I was cast into a dream, I found myself standing before a tub brimming with steaming water, a beautiful man drifting inside. The cream night gown I was lent curled around my feet, and once again, red was plastered to my cheeks.

"…You really are cute…standing there with that expression…" Roderich was looking right at me, probably thinking my behavior ridiculous. "…You know that we're married, don't you?"

"Of course I do…I'm just…shy…"

"…That's alright…I won't do anything to you if you don't want me to…Would you like me to get out?"

"…No. I'll come in…"

I was having a problem believing this man was tangible…It was as if I was looking at a painting done by a master artist, hanging so wonderfully on my wall. The light kissing his features made him look godly.

…Was he truly my husband? Was this man mine?

I wondered who had made him. What human was born with a perfectly drawn mark right under their lips? And what human was given such perfect lips in the first place?

His mouth pulled at the sides. "…Am I scaring you? I'm harmless, I assure you."

"No…You're not…I was simply admiring you…" Finally, I was drawn in closer, my feet freezing before him. The only thing between us was porcelain, which was no longer an obstacle when my shy foot came into contact with the inside of the tub. I was beginning to loose consciousness, thinking of the rather large gap in between by legs. Quickly, my legs came together and I submerged myself in the water, causing waves to lap at both of our chests.

And we were left to look at one another, Roderich smiling at me as if I was a gift he had been waiting for a long time.

"…What is that look?" I asked, my skin melting amongst the rising heat. "…Have I done something foolish?"

"No. I just think we're going to get along quite well…Is this too much?" One of his feet nudged gently against mine. "…I'm worried you're going to pop…"

I couldn't help but smile. "I won't pop…"

And we soaked.

"…Roderich…You've been married previously haven't you?"

"Yes. I have...Well...A few times…"

"…Were they all this shy?"

"…Just about…I think you're the worst case yet, but that's alright. You're certainly the cutest."

"Oh, you're lying!"

"I'm not, really. You're lovely."

"Thank you…" Gilbert had told me times over that I was gorgeous…But I never believed him, just as I didn't believe Roderich. I wondered how ruptured my heart would be years into this relationship…My emotions still burned for that blond Prussian man, and I was beginning to wonder if I could ever pry away my grip.

I think my face must have shown some part of my pain, because my hand was taken by the man across from me and held while a few pleasant kisses landed upon it.

No…If things continued like this, I would eventually forget my passions. But how could one be charming day after day? It would be interesting to see how we aged together…

"You have very nice hands…" I was told. "They look elegant with this ring…"

"Oh, stop. Now I know you're lying."

"I'm really not." His lips smiled against my milky skin. "Aren't I allowed to be somewhat fascinated?"

"I don't think you'd like me to pass out, would you?"

"No…Not especially…"

I leaned a little more heavily against the rim of our tub, warm water growing in currents around me. My movement sent ripples across the glassy surface, and shook the light lying so stilly upon the clear drink. A hand was returned to me, and pleasant glances were exchanged.

It occurred to me how close we truly were…The caps of our knees were touching as lovers would kiss, and for a moment, I truly felt as if I was a child. An admirer would make advances, but he was simply sitting, happy just as we were…What would a cruel man do? What would Gilbert do?

I would have to write him a letter very soon…

When our wrinkled feet finally touched marble tiles, Roderich placed a hand upon my shoulder blade and a kiss to my cheek. Would nudity ever become comfortable? A soft blue fabric was placed around me, and the water seeping from me was absorbed. Roderich had done the same, and before we progressed from the safety of the bathroom, we slipped on the night gowns, which had been dampened in some areas by reckless fluid.

It was an award walk out, but our first stop was the bedroom, which had all of my clothing waiting inside. Roderich had purchased every last thread. My old robes were the objects of a child compared to the outfits that would cloth me.

That day, I wore a gorgeous yellow dress. It reminded me of daisies…I hadn't worn any of the garments inhabiting my dresser. I was moving up in rank, meaning all of them had to be made to match my husband's fine attire. I couldn't be caught in green rags any longer…

Breakfast commenced, and I could see a little more clearly into Roderich's frugality. It was a very simple meal, and the amount was somewhat wavering, but there was enough to satisfy my hunger.

As our jaws worked, I composed a letter in my mind to Gilbert. I'm sure he was concerned for my happiness, and if I didn't send him a few words of comfort, he would likely come and see my new life for himself. As much as I loved him, I would never trust him to keep his distance for too long.

In my false letter, I mentioned the deep pearly frills of my dress. I mentioned the reception, the cake, and the movement of our feet in dance. I mentioned how Roderich took me gently, so he could be at ease…And I mentioned how very much my heart wept for him.

Perhaps I could give him actual written words, but I would have to wait until my life was absent of the protocol that came with being newly wed…What other duties would I have to occupy my time? There had to be responsibilities that came with living in such a mansion and belonging to such a man.

When breakfast had ended, we began to pack our things. Most of Roderich's belongings were already comfortably placed in a large trunk. Luckily for me, I wouldn't have much to stow away; only clothing and a few other simple items…

"How long will we be in Vienna?" I asked, stalking an azure robe.

"A week." His reply was short, but his voice still rung sweet.

"Alright."

I selected eight dresses in the event one of them became sullen, and once those had joined the luggage, there wasn't much else that needed to be assembled.

The clock's arms were stretched to represent nine twenty three. We had quite a few unoccupied minutes. Of course, few preparations had yet to be accomplished, but with a house full of hands, simple tasks became even more simplistic.

This would be an excellent opportunity to begin my letter.

"Elizaveta…I have a bit of work to do before we go. Feel free to do whatever you like. I'll meet you here at twelve."

I gave him an affirmative nod of the head. "Right…I'll try not lost get lost in this huge place…"

He kissed my cheek. "Don't worry. You won't get lost."

And I was left in my solitude to pick nervously at my fingers. Roderich wouldn't be pleased with a letter to Gilbert. Upsetting my husband wasn't my greatest aspiration as a loyal wife, but ignoring my Prussian was possible disaster. He would come straight to our doorstep and begin a fight with Roderich which would likely follow with my very sloppy abduction.

Finally, my conflict resolved, and I sought out a quill and parchment.

I asked a servant as to where I could acquire such things, and was led through a series of lavish hallways. Finally, I found myself in the middle of an office with a stained glass window and polished oaken desk. It was well kept, but looked as if no one had come in accept to clean the area.

"Excuse me…Does anyone use this office?"

"Oh no…Not often…But it will have everything you need, Mrs. Edelstein…"

"Thank you…"

My back faced the glass as I began my message, fragmented light shining heavily upon my back and the lustrous wood. The crisp paper was even illuminated a gorgeous hue because of the window. What a wonderful place…

As soon as my pen pressed to the parchment, words bled easily from the tip as crimson from a slash. Four pages were polluted with news and emotions, along with the promise of a photograph. My name was signed with much grace at the bottom of the last page, and the desire to kiss my closing was fought intensely. For a moment, my mind wondered to him, queries of his state coming to thought. I certainly hoped he was doing better than I was. I would be flattered if he wasn't, and yet, I would be happier knowing he wasn't going through such heart ache.

Would I ever be able to lay my glance upon him again? What a sad woman I would be if I had forgotten the sound of his voice to time…

The envelope was given to a servant when it was ready.

"Please mail this for me…Or find someone who can…But please don't let Roderich see it." I felt a strong ripple of guilt for already deceiving my husband only a day after being wed…But I wanted so desperately to tell Gilbert that everything was alright.

At twelve that day, I met Roderich near the luxurious doors of our room. Everything had already been prepared, and all that was left to do was walk.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes. I am." I answered.

"Alright." A kiss was plucked gently from my unsuspecting cheek. "Then we can go."

And we boarded the gaudy portal to a passion infested week in Vienna. How truly guilty I was for being so excited.


	4. Chapter 4

We returned a few days before Franz Joseph would become my king. Of course, there would be a celebration for that as well, and my desires involved simple rest. We had been having sleepless nights for the past week, and my body was worn. My honey moon didn't deserve one complaint, but that didn't return any of my hostage dreams.

The first thing I did when getting back was lie upon our massive bed and shut my eyes. This place didn't seem like my home, but it would simply have to do. It occurred to me that I would never set foot in my old cottage again. This was my sanctuary now, and there wasn't an escape. It was as if I would never truly go home…

My body was joined by my husband's, who so affectionately adopted me into his arms.

"…Hello…"

"Hello."

"Are you tired too?"

"Yes."

I donated my lips. Within that week, my shyness was erased, and I truly had no problems with sharing a kiss. I was far from being in love, and my feelings for Gilbert still held strong, but when you give your body to a man so often, it becomes easier to touch without blood rushing furiously to your face…

I was beginning to enjoy sex. The pain was faded and was replaced easily by pleasure. The last few nights were loud with moans of both parties and were the most sleep ridden of them all. I wondered if we would be awake every night until I became pregnant, but doubt was heavy. No human had such energy.

"There's a letter for you…" Roderich said.

"…Really? From who?"

"…I'm not sure…There wasn't a return address…I can go get it for you."

"No…It's alright..." The space between our bodies lessened. "…I'm sure it can wait…"

Despite my passion for that Prussian man, I liked my husband. I was once told there were many different kinds of love; making it possible to have affections two people at the same time…I was certain that was what would happen in this situation, although it would be horridly difficult...

We surrendered our bodies to sleep and I was awakened when the clock sung hours later. The hands pointed exactly to the eight and twelve. We had been subdued nearly three hours, and my stomach sobbed of neglect.

I glanced to the window to observe the sky, the moon showing itself with little shame and the clouds bathed comfortably in the heavenly darkened fire. The sun was fleeting and slipped away behind high lush hills. Austria was a lovely place to be...

I then focused on my husband, still at rest. My fingers slid past the frame of his face, graced so softly by deeply colored locks. His creamy skin was free of imperfections, and a smooth feeling lingered so softly at my finger tips after I took them away…

My heart fluttered, feeling as if a whelp like me shouldn't even be in his presence…I felt compelled to check his back for feathery white wings…

But yet again, my mind darted to Gilbert…He was marred by scars and tiny mistakes…But each cut he had was beautiful…I adored how incredibly rough he was…Yes…Quite the odd quality to find amiable, but when you truly have a passion for someone, you accept their whole being and love it as if it was your own…And he was…Gilbert was mine…and all I could take with me were memories…

I found steaming tears ruining my face. I couldn't wake my husband and create a another lie, so I remained quiet in my sorrow, my lips holding themselves in and my shoulders keeping still as stone.

"…What's wrong?" Of course, those sapphires were opened, and my emotions spilled from the broken vase that was slowly becoming my control. My arms took him even closer, and my face found refuge within the frills flowing from his neck.

A gentle hand sifted through my tresses, giving me comfort while his lips touched my crown loyally. When my fountain ran dry, I looked up and saw soft eyes bleeding into mine. A smile shaped my lips.

No. He wasn't Gilbert…But he was good.

"…I'm sorry…" My sleeve brushed away the last droplets of my melancholy, and I gave my lips up to his. "…I was just feeling a little sad, I guess…My life has changed so rapidly…I'm not really used to it yet…"

"That's alright…I can understand…The first time I was married, I wasn't sure how anything was supposed to go…It's difficult…But I'll be kind to you…If you need something, you can ask for it...Is it…because you're married to me?"

"No." A difficult swallow came. It wasn't because I belonged to Roderich, but because I didn't belong to Gilbert. So, perhaps being wed to this gorgeous Austrian was the cause of my sorrows, but if I hadn't been in a previous relationship there wouldn't be such a blunder. The fault wasn't his, but mine. "You're a very good man…There's just a lot to adjust to…"

"Well…Maybe eating something will make you feel better…" Our backs were removed from the comfort of the sheets, and I received yet another kiss. "…I won't be able to take you out tomorrow…But maybe after this Franz Joseph business is over with we can do something together…"

"Alright…That would be wonderful…"

He nodded and our faces came into union a final time before we moved into the dining room.

Through dinner, both of our lips remained shut. What do you say to a woman who has just broken down? Yet, there were smiles and it was pleasant despite my raging sea of emotion.

"Oh…Yes. I still have to give you that letter. It's sitting on my desk…"

"Thank you…"

I knew why there was no return address. There wasn't a need for one. I was well aware of where it was sent from, and who wrote the letter inside it…

When the food was cleaned from our plates, I was given my letter. It had Gilbert Weillschmidt written all over in flashing red letters. My name was sloppily composed and required quite a bit of room. Instead of using my new last name, my maiden was utilized as its substitute. A stain from a finger sullied with potato fluid marred the bottom right corner, and I tried not to smile imagining him gulping down his most favored food.

My fingers hesitated to undress his words, knowing my husband might want to read its contents.

"Do you have any idea who it could be from?"

"No…" I answered, examining he envelope as if I had yet to lay my fingers upon folded parchment. "Do you think I have an admirer?"

"Maybe…" Roderich's lips curled. "Why don't you open it?"

"Alright…" I kept my composure, but the walls of my stomach were being lashed at violently by nervous waves. My heart was giving me little mercy as well, and it seemed as though it could have been a firework waiting to ignite. My thumb forced itself under the seal.

I pulled away a single card, with the words 'Congratulations' written in golden ink upon the front. I turned it over to find a blank face staring right back at mine.

"…That's all?" I asked, feeling as if my panic was for absolutely nothing.

"…Well…It's certainly nice." My husband took up the discarded envelope and pulled a delicate but lusty chain from it.

"What is it?"

"A necklace…" It held gently to his longest fingers, a ruby residing near the bottom of the lovely noose. The stone glowed in crimson glory and illuminated the white of my husband's gloves. "It seems you do have an admirer…"

"…Would you be upset if I wore it? It seems like a shame to waste it…"

"…It's your first piece of jewelry here, isn't it?"

"…Well, yes, if you don't count my ring."

"…Allow me to get you a necklace first…Then you can put it to use."

"Thank you…"

I was surprised I would be allowed to display a fine ruby from another man…Especially something so classy and deep. There was a lot of feeling put into this gift. Even someone who had never seen the giver could identify that...

Again, the thought entered my mind that I might never see him again…

I would wear this necklace as loyally as I wore clothing.


	5. Chapter 5

"Elizaveta…"

"Hmm?"

"Wake up, darling…I have something for you…"

"Huh?" My hazy vision revealed Roderich leaning over me with our lips only a short distance away. That was fixed after few moments lapsed.

"…Oh…You don't have to kiss me right now…" I managed to sit up. "I probably look awful." Sleep crumbled from my eyes like stone under a chisel, and I had never felt less attractive. My body was draped in a thin night gown hanging loosely to my shoulder. My breast was nearly free, but Roderich pulled the garment up to prevent any embarrassment.

"Thank you…"

My fingers embraced something cool, and another warm kiss was surrendered to my cheek. I lifted my hand to see a silver chain shining against my fingers and seeping from my grip. The interior of my palm held a stone, and the skin around it unfurled, giving light to a sparkling sapphire.

"You didn't have to get me anything so lovely."

"Of course I did." Soft hands took mine captive and pleasant smiles were exchanged. Between our palms lied the silver, and between our lips tongues curled passionately together.

"No, no…" I pushed him away with gentle finger tips. "Please…I look horrible. Let me bathe and put on some descent clothing. Then we can kiss all you like."

"Alright."

Moments of admiration passed, and my ragged figure was moved into the bathroom, in which it was it was submerged in steamy water and subdued morning light.

Before a cloth even pressed against my flesh, I soaked in the gentle waves and allowed my tresses to curl around one of the tub's golden legs. What a glorious mansion. Every Chamber was engorged with beauty and there was nowhere I didn't mind being. I loved my bedroom and there waited a handsome man wrapped in satin. Our marriage began coded in soft passion and now there was a true grasp for lust.

Yes…what a nice life this would be…Years would progress and love would grow as a seed meant to become a blossoming tree. Our mouths would mingle together several times, and gorgeous children would be born.

My eyes opened to a stray beam of morning glow, and guilt overtook the marrow in my bones.

How dare I forget my Prussian? My poor lonely Prussian who couldn't speak with an address… He wouldn't return my letters because as soon as he gave genuine words, Roderich would know of our previous bond. Then there would be no messages, not even from my hand.

How wonderful it would be if they were allies, but it was the opposite. Both had just left a brutal war littered with wounded and bloodied bodies, and my husband had emerged with the most casualties. Perhaps if he had brought victory, my friendship with Gilbert might be less of an ordeal…How painful it would be to see your own wife befriend your greatest enemy.

I sunk a little further into the water, moisture flooding my scalp. It was astonishing that I had so much time to accept my fate, and yet, my heart bled painful emotion every time Gilbert drifted to my thoughts.

I wanted all of my tears to vanish and I yearned for happiness to flourish without guilt.

Calm tears rolled from the corners of my eyes. My features didn't contort, and no sobs ruined the quiet infesting the room, but there was enough sorrow to spare a few droplets. And there they were, melding so easily with the fluid I was encased in.

Today would be a happy day. Today was the day Franz Joseph would be my king, and today would be iced with a splendid celebration. I would drink fine wine with well clothed aristocrats and everyone would be joyous.

Yes. Today was a day brimming with the glory that was our union.

My body was cleansed of its imperfections and I was adorned in fine emerald silk. That shining chain kissed my neck as the sapphire embraced my collar bone.

"…Oh, Elizaveta…Why are you so lovely?" Roderich cooed softly. We were glancing at our reflections as a wooden brush combed through my tangled tresses, which glowed softly even at their worst.

"You don't need to lie…I only look slightly better…"

"I really don't have any skill for lying." The reflection showed him adopting a pretty smile. "You know…" Before the statement was completed, a stray kiss sought comfort upon my cheek. "…you have to get your hair done today…"

"…What?" I flourished. "But Roderich…It's always such a pain…Can't I just tie it back…or something?"

"I'm afraid not…"

I sighed. Being known was such an overbearing task. I always detested having my hair done. Because there was such an abundance of my tresses, it required hours and usually two pairs of hands.

"Don't worry…Everything will be fine…" I could tell Roderich wanted to laugh at me. "It'll be worth it…Everyone's eyes will be on you…"

"But…Why does that matter? The only important eyes are yours…"

Instead of a response, I was donated an embrace and a few sweet kisses. "That's not necessarily true, but I'm glad you think so…"

I skipped breakfast that morning to have my hair ripped upon by the unforgiving fingers of old women. I had woken up late, and there wasn't an abundance of time to prepare.

"I think all women should have hair like this, don't you?"

"Oh, yes…I'm turning greener than her dress."

"And the color…"

I found it odd how they spoke of me as if I wasn't attached to my ridiculous locks. It was like being some expensive doll that only had the duty of sitting. Perhaps that theory wasn't so farfetched…

By mid afternoon, my hair was in complex twists and curls, and was generally a gorgeous mass. It was held in its position by what had to be hundreds of pins, each one tight and precise. I could feel a few of them as they bit into my scalp as cruel ticks. Oh yes. How I anticipated struggling with each and every one.

But of course, it was far from done. They still had to add the flowers and gems. When I was a simple woman, I would place a rose behind my ear and allow my hair to flow as a cascade…But now, I never wanted another petal to even come into contact with my wondrous mess…

When I could finally stand on my feet, my hair was an expensive and luscious garden, blessed with dew that resembled diamonds. I wondered how expensive this annoyance was, but I doubt anyone actually had a close estimate.

"Mrs. Edelstein, your make up artist will be here soon…Please don't move too far…"

"What? I have to have that done too? How long will that take?"

"Not as long as your hair…" Wrinkles stretched to make room for a smile. "If it's any conciliation, Mrs. Edelstein, you look very nice."

Quite a few sighs became free that day.

When my face was covered with powder and I was no longer the woman I had woken up as, I was finally allowed to leave. I was the Hungarian parody of Marie Antoinette. Each step I took must have stolen a fortune.

Despite the beauty that was graced upon me, my state was one of severe irritation and hunger. From the moment I emerged from that steaming water, my world became one of silk and rouge. My stomach cried from blatant neglect, and a cruel headache was forming in between my temples.

"Elizaveta!"

My husband had found me after I wondered like a mule with abundance on its back, but my weight was dangling in wonderful curls above my forehead. My lips were parted in clear frustration, and no part of my poor body was happy. My legs cramped from sitting such a long time, and my back was hurting from supporting all the extra fabric wrapped around my waist.

"Hello, Roderich. Will you feed me?"

"Certainly…" His eyes were glowing with astonishment. "You look wonderful."

"…Thank you…I wish I felt wonderful…"

"Well, I can help you with that. Please…" A gentleman's glove was offered, accompanied with a minute grin. Eagerly, my hand came into a welcome embrace with his, and we moved, heels once again sinking unkind teeth deep inside my skin.

The last few hours before our party were spent together, in which my shoes left my feet, and a comfortable chair was donated for my relaxation.

"Oh, Roderich…I think the only way I can put up with this damn dress is if I drink enough wine to put me into a coma…"

"Well, don't do that…I'm sorry you have to be pretty."

"…I am too…You're lucky you don't have to wear so much clothing…" I lifted my skirts. "Just look at this…I can barely find my legs…"

"Well darling, if you want someone to find your legs, all you had to do was ask."

I giggled. "How naughty." My frills were hidden behind emerald fabric. "I'm sorry…I must seem so un-lady like…I'm used to dressing simpler than a maid…"

"No, no." He waved a hand as if dismissing something. "Not at all…I'm glad you are the way you are…All of my marriages have been painfully formal…But I feel like I can actually talk to you…"

"Oh…Thank you…" Under all of my powder, my face flushed as crimson roses in bloom. "…I was so worried on my wedding day…because to be honest I hadn't heard the nicest things about you…But you're very kind, and I don't think I could have asked for a better husband…" Perhaps it wasn't a lie…I would simply love Gilbert more had we been wed…

My knuckles were touched by warm lips. "Thank you…"

When the celebration finally began, we were standing in the center of a filling ballroom with servants moving around us. They all held varying silver platters with either food or wine, and everyone leaking in from the open doors was dressed in their finest attire, the women being some of the most beautiful I had ever seen. Some were adorned in bright cherry and others in simple pearl, but there wasn't one that was wrapped in a simple garb. Not all of them resembled dolls, but the ones who had put me to shame. A pang of sadness came, knowing I would never be so beautiful.

Compared to these flowers, I was a weed.

"…What's wrong?" Roderich looked at me with gentle eyes.

"Nothing, really…" I answered, having to glance at my aching feet.

A strand of my golden brown hair was brushed behind my ear, which must have been furiously red. "Please, tell me..."

My stained lips refused to part.

"…You know, if you took the rouge off of their faces, they would be plain…but if the powder was wiped from your face, you would remain gorgeous…Just because you aren't overdone doesn't make them more beautiful…If that is what's upsetting you…In my opinion, you have the prettiest face in this entire room, and certainly the best hair…"

"You really are too kind…"

"No. I'm simply telling the truth…You can ask anyone and they'll say the same thing."

"Thank you…"

The night progressed normally with people mingling pleasantly and wine being consumed in greedy amounts. I had a few glasses myself, trying to rid my awkward feet of their strife.

At one point, I broke away from my husband, wanting to get something to snack upon. My last meal was large, but I my stomach still felt barren.

As I took a few pastries onto my plate, there was a slight tap at my shoulder.

"Elizaveta?"

"…Francis?"

"Ah! It is you!" I was taken into a quick embrace which was uncurled before anyone could notice. "How have you been?"

"I've been well…et toi?" Because Francis was one of Gilbert's friends, we saw each other often, and because Francis incorporated French into his speaking habits, I was able to comprehend a few words.

A pleasant smile came over his face. "I've been just fine, ma cherie."

"…Um…How has…_he_ been?"

"Well…I certainly can't say good…Perhaps we should discuss this elsewhere…" Our voices were fading into whispers.

I nodded and without much difficulty, we managed an escape. No one would notice if we were gone only a short amount of time.

Our feet led us under the glowing moon near the front of the mansion. We were still very close to the busy room we had just come from, and there would hardly be any trouble returning.

Before either of us moved our mouths, we watched the clouds as they morphed and dissipated. I wasn't sure what to ask, although there were enough quandaries to fill a journal.

"You know…If he could see you right now, he would pass out…"

"…Has he been alright?"

"…No…Not really…He's been torn between depression and anger…But he's glad that Roderich was gentle with you…and he wanted to thank you for the letter…Speaking of which…" An envelope was pulled from an inside pocket and held before me. "He told me to give this to you."

"Thank you…" With fingers quivering like leaves in the wind, I accepted the letter, which had been washed in the moon's beams and resembled a gift from the heavens. I didn't dare break the seal. Not when even a stray pair of eyes could see Gilbert's reply. The envelope was hidden against my abdomen after an unpleasant run-in with my breasts. It was a wonderful hiding place. The thickness of my dress hid it as if the paper was made of thin fabric.

"You silly woman…Your husband will find it there."

"No…He won't."

"Well, we'll see. I would suggest finding a more suitable hiding place. I doubt you'll be going to bed in a night gown, and I highly doubt you'll be the one removing that outfit." Francis winked discretely, and that oddly infuriating smile came right back to skew his lips.

"Oh, you never change!"

"No, no." He was speaking through repressed laughs that tried to kick open his mouth. "I simply know that Roderich is a little naughtier than he looks…Well, Au revoir, ma fleur. I only came here to check up on you, and that it's been seen to, I'll be on my way."

"But…why? I thought you liked parties…"

"I do, but your husband doesn't like me…and I wasn't exactly given an invitation…Have a nice night, ma cherie." Francis took three paces before ceasing and turning. "Ah! I knew I had forgotten something. Gilbert wanted me to ask about the necklace he sent. You got it, didn't you?"

"Yes. I did. Tell him it's lovely."

"That I will do, Madame."

I followed Francis's advice, and instead of dragging myself back into the ballroom, I arrived at my bedroom. It was shrouded in a slight veil of darkness, and the moon's glow kissed the marble floor with fleeting lips. I wished the moon would give a little more of her light, but she wasn't as generous as her sister. Regardless, I sought a hiding place for the words Gilbert had given me, and I promised them my full attention when larger matters weren't at hand.

It was like searching for something that only had rumors to vouch for its existence. Where could I place it? If there were any hiding places, my husband knew of them. He must have been utilizing this chamber long before I set foot into this mansion.

In frustration, I lent my bottom to the sheets and sighed. My shoes were loosened, because I simply refused to allow them to keep gnawing at my feet. I gave attention to my heels, which were wet with a few droplets of crimson. The little demon was still attached to my toes, and I was beginning to hate whoever came up with such uncomfortable foot wear. Those blood sucking heels were shaken off and went clattering to the floor, one of them bouncing off under the bed skirts. Another gasp of exasperated breath breached the once quiet environment, and I was forced on my hands and knees to retrieve it.

"Come on, shoe. You're already enough of a pain."

The fabric lapping at the floor was lifted to reveal pitch black air. My hand reached into the abyss, sweeping marble and probing as deeply as it could. My fingers met something that wasn't wall or my hellish footwear.

"Ah!" Surprise shot me with little intensity, and I touched it again, finding its surface to be wooden. It wasn't rooted in its place either, and with both hands I was able to free it.

It was a box. The walls were aged and coded in a thick layer of dust. I let my finger tips brush over it, finding engraved flowers and vines, and where it was to split, a silver lock. Would it allow me to witness its insides? The lid was pushed loudly onto marble, still attached with hinges. There was nothing but more dust and a key melded from the same metal as the lock.

Oh, thank you, you god-ridden shoe!

Without a moment of consideration, I removed the key and replaced it with the letter, which was now in a sickle shape from being pressed against my stomach. The silver teeth fit perfectly inside the lock, and when they were removed, the lid refused to move from its chest.

Yes!

The box was slid back into its position under the bed shirts, and I hid the key away with my dresses. Silken veils kept it covered as if it had never taken up a new home. The consideration of shielding the envelope there came to mind, but if my husband was the one to find it, there would be certain turmoil, but if he uncovered the key, it would simply be an intriguing discovery.

I sat back upon the bed, trying to put on my foot wear in a manner to keep more slashes from forming. I had to return to the ball's presence.

As I pushed the nippy material back upon my heel, the door opened, and my husband stood there.

"Elizaveta? Is that you in here?"

"Yes…I'm sorry, Roderich. I had to get off of my feet…My heels are bleeding."

"Why didn't you tell me?" His velvety voice reflected a small amount of pain. "I would have come with you…"

"I'm sorry…"

"Well...Just leave your shoes here. Everyone is dancing in their socks anyway…"

My husband took a place next to me on our sheets and I showed him my drying blood, which was conspiring against me to form an unsightly scab.

"…Ooh…You never have to wear those again…I'll have them replaced for you…" A kiss was given to my cheek. "Come back with me…Everyone misses you and the party is far from over…"

"Really?" I couldn't stop the disappointment from ringing in my voice.

"It's alright…The boring part is done with…Now everyone is drunk and dancing like morons…"

"Well…Alright. I suppose I can deal with this stupid hair a _little_ while longer…"

"Thank you." Our lips went into a pleasant meeting one last time, and together, we left the room, my feet abandoning those cruel shoes to the marble.

And after a night of ridiculous movement, Roderich and I returned to our bedroom with our tongues intertwined. Francis was absolutely correct. His hands were tearing the silk from my flesh, and it was certain I wouldn't be going to bed in a night gown.


	6. Chapter 6

Gilbert's letter was infested with scrambled emotion and a single promise, which was a guarantee that we would meet again. I knew he meant it because his normally scribbled text was slowly composed and only partially illegible. Seeing his messy script only reminded me of how much I adored him.

I hadn't forgotten my promise of a photo, but we simply hadn't received them yet. I'm sure the photographer was a busy man, but I simply wanted my black and white memories.

Well…It was certainly better than remaining still for hours on end for a moody artist to recreate your imagine in paint. I would be patient if it meant my legs didn't have to sleep…

A few weeks following my Prussian's letter, the wedding photos arrived in a lovely black book. Each page held four images, and the number of pages was far too many to track. I worried that the spine would break by simply opening it because of the incredible weight.

Which would be plucked first? It should be a photo that my husband wouldn't notice missing, but the only one that would be is the last. There couldn't be a blank space in the center of a book flooded with images…

One of the problems I had was even getting the book alone. Whenever I saw it, my husband was looking at all the pages, each one having a few seconds of attention before being turned. He would certainly notice one absent at this point…

What fascinated him? I couldn't spend hours looking at that book. Perhaps it was more a thorn in my skin, but I still didn't believe a man could have such a strange obsession.

A week of having the book in captivity passed, and it was left at the foot of our bed. This wasn't its usual place, but I was blessed. That damn book was finally away from Roderich! I opened its innards to the air, and my gentle fingers paged through each set of photos, searching for the perfect addition for my Prussian to see.

It was evident I had plenty of time. Pleasant notes sung from my husband's moving hands and lingered in the air. For the next hour, they would remain. Sometimes I would join him in his playing, taking a seat near the crying instrument, amazed that only one man was causing such a gorgeous symphony…but today, I was taking a photograph as my hostage and sending it far away.

All of the pictures were well done, and there was an entire section featuring Roderich and me, but there were very few of me alone. Gilbert wouldn't want to see me on my most beautiful day standing next to his detested enemy.

But I was able to find one with me as the center piece, and in my finger's hold was a perfect clear glass plate supporting a white piece of wedding cake. I was wearing a chiseled smile, and the look in my eyes reflected a woman stricken by melancholy.

Immediate sadness struck, and I recalled all the times tears almost shattered the barrier of my eyes that day. How terrible it would have been to see a gorgeous bride with tears streaking against her carefully applied rouge. How hard I had tried…and the only time true emotion could come was in the comfort of Roderich's arms after I had been broken.

What a depressing affair.

I wished I could give him an image of a more joyous day, but wedding don't come in pairs. This book's memories would represent my only engagement to the only man I was allowed to grant my loyalties to.

My fingers grasped the corner of the frozen woman's frame, and she was tucked away behind a heavy silken veil. The black book was closed, and I moved from it before anyone could place this abduction upon my shoulders.

The notes had stopped in their chain, and a new kind of wailing filled their place. It was his bow making a violin moan. I wondered if I should feel so jealous. I was mistress to his first and true love, who received his touch far more than I ever would. Roderich adored them…But my lips couldn't utter complaints. I had a first love as well.

A response was composed for Gilbert's reply in the room I had first written his letter. The stained glass shone especially bright that day, saturating the shining desk top in its colored light.

After the ink had dried, the woman in frills was hidden away by word soaked parchment. The letter was ingested by a starving envelope, and its skin was cut by a Prussian's address.

Just as the music died, a maid was given full custody of my message.

"Please don't let my husband see it."

"I won't Mrs. Edelstein."

"Thank you."

Roderich was in our room when I reentered, the black book sitting on his lap with its underbelly exposed and being searched through thoroughly.

"Hello Elizaveta. Will you sit with me?"

"Oh…Yes…" It had vanished, and there was no proof I had played the thief. "Roderich, why do you like that book so much? You haven't stopped looking though it since it's came."

"Because…It's fascinating. An actual event was taken and because someone pressed a button, it was preserved. Paint won't chip, ink won't fade…Someone could open this book in a hundred years later and it would probably be about the same."

"…Well…I suppose it is interesting when you put in that context."

Few second past before his brows furrowed and his fingers searched in desperation for something lost. "A photo is gone…"

"Oh…It is?"

He nodded.

"…Do you know which one is missing?"

"…I think it's the one with you holding a slice of cake…Do you have any idea where it might have went?"

"No…I don't."

Silent moments lapsed, and no words escaped my mouth. I stood with jittering fingers and nervous skin.

"…There can't be a blank space…I'll have to move all the pictures up one…"

"…Do you think it fell when you were carrying it? You've taken it with you a lot of places…"

"Maybe…" He was still searching for the woman in white, but he would never find her. She had a new home in the heart of Prussia, perhaps tacked to a wall…

"Well, I think you should look for it before moving them…You could find it somewhere unexpected."

My husband released a sigh. "I really liked that picture…"

"…I'm sorry, darling…But even if you don't find it, you shouldn't move all of those photographs…"

"…Did you just call me darling?" Happiness flushed across his face and filled his gorgeous eyes. There was no room left for disappointment. That was wiped away as a small droplet of champagne.

"Yes. I did. Do you mind?"

"No. Not at all…It's just the first time you've said that to me…" The photograph held no further importance. The black book was closed, depressing memories sealed behind thick covers. I was still standing before him, not having joined his side as he had asked. Instead, he was drawing nearer and stopped before my curling toes, pretty hands cupping my face while soft lips melded into mine.

I wondered if this would lead to sex. That was what a wife was for, wasn't she? My womb was empty, and passionate kisses didn't come without purpose.

Our faces separated, and my gaze mingled with his.

"Thank you…Would you like me to undress now?"

"Oh, Elizaveta…You're a silly woman, aren't you?"

"…Yes. I suppose so…"

There was another smile and a kiss for either cheek. "No. I don't want you to undress, but if you heart yearns for it, I won't stop you." A brief touch of our lips. "However, it would be lovely if you came with me to get a slice of cake…But please wear clothing."

It seemed astonishing that an act solely for Gilbert could cause my husband to be happy. Of course, there wasn't much good in a missing photograph, but a string of events led us to this point, and now I was convinced that our relationship held a tinge of love. It hadn't been long enough for our marriage to hold true affection, but I liked this man, and I was certain he shared the same affinity for me.

"Alright…I think I can keep myself contained long enough to eat a slice of cake."

"Wonderful."


	7. Chapter 7

I was truly beginning to enjoy living inside Roderich's mansion, even if its extensive size sometimes annoyed me. It was quite the lovely place, and it was difficult to be bored there due to all the places one could be.

There were many days that I was required to spend alone. Roderich was constantly busy with the papers crowding his desk, begging so loudly for his attention and signatures. There were many times when I would only see him getting dressed in the morning and undressed in the evening. It was baffling and somewhat depressing at how alone I was truly was when he wasn't at my side. There was no women friends of mine, and all the servants treated me as if I was so very high above them. I desired to tell them I was just one of them. I used to be a simple girl in a pleasant cottage who only wore a beaten cotton dress and a smile…But what was the point? They would regard me in the same light even if I had told them I was once inhabiting the streets and stealing scraps from metal cans.

A lot of my time was spent in quiet solitude and the only thing that kept my sanity was Roderich's extensive library. It was the largest room in the entire mansion, and the shelves were stuffed with books of all sorts. There were picture books and books occupied with printed copies of famous Italian paintings. Of course, there were normal books with simple words, and to my surprise, there was even a few story books kept from his childhood. Those were especially beaten…

One of my favorite books was filled with photographs of old sculptures taken from all around the world. Under each picture was the chiseled marble's name and where it lived. Looking at those pages made me want to travel to each of their homes, but I knew I was doomed to be the library's maiden for a very long time.

I was glad my husband had such a fascination with photography. It saved me from boredom on several occasions, especially when I was done exploring the grounds.

One morning after an entire week of solitude, I witnessed my husband trying to leave me to the sheets of our bed. I caught his wrist and held him in one place. I could feel the shock come through him, and then there was a simple yelp. He wasn't aware of my consciousness.

Gently, my finger tips kneaded into the soft flesh of his forearm. The concubine in the office wouldn't take him from me today.

"Roderich…Please don't go…I'm so lonely…"

"Oh, Darling…I have to." He sat back upon the crinkled sheets and allowed me to keep custody of his limb. "…I'd love to stay here with you, but I have a stack of papers that needs my attention."

"That damn desk gets you everyday and when I see you, you're too exhausted to even talk…Please, just stay a few minutes…"

"Ah…Elizaveta…You're making this difficult..."

I let my lips caress his knuckles and mask his pinky finger. It was a nothing but a tease.

"Elizaveta…please…"

"Hmm?" My tongue was put into play, and poked persistently at his skin. My fingers played with his battered musician's hand sensually as I allowed a few lovely kisses to drift over his finger tips.

My husband sighed, so close to giving in and putting his back to the sheets once again. "You're going to get what you want…Where did you learn such dirty tricks?"

"You taught them to me."

"Did I, now?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Maybe I shouldn't have."

"I don't know…I like them. They're quite useful…"

"I know…" Finally, his body fell next to mine and our lips brushed shortly. "You're going to get me into trouble…"

"Why? Is someone checking on you?"

"No…But there are deadlines…"

"Haven't you heard of this lovely little thing called procrastination?"

"You're terrible for my career…" A kiss was granted to my cheek. "I can't procrastinate. If I do, I'll live in that office…"

"…I'm sorry Roderich…"

"…I am too…Even more so because I really have to leave…"

"Roderich…please don't go…I've barely seen you in seven whole days…Five more minutes…Just five…Please…"

"Alright…But just five."

"Just five…"

A short series of moments passed, and I was finally left to drown in an ocean of thick and silken sheets. I closed my eyes for a moment, humoring the thought of going back to sleep until noon…But I was unable to return to my dream's embrace, and was forced to sit up and look at the morning light draining in through the window.

How horrible it must have been, watching your lazy wife lie in bed while you had to go off to a back breaking day full of boring and nearly unreadable documents...

I should have been messaging his back and getting the knots from his poor feet. Just having him around me, I could feel how very tense he was…

I was a horrid wife…

I spent all of my time complaining because I was able to sit up in a comfortable library with books upon books of lovely photographs while tea was brought to me by a nameless servant…And my poor husband…he was relived just to be in his bed's custody.

I had to redeem myself.

That morning, my feet hit cold marble with determination, and the first task I accomplished was wrapping my body in a sensuous scarlet robe with complex white frills filling the bottom. It truly was a lovely mess, and seemed like something I would wear to a romantic night out. Perhaps it would be out of place, but only for a short amount of time.

That day, my hair wasn't allowed to lick at my waist. The hair dressers were contacted, who happened to also play the rolls of two old maids.

"But, Mrs. Edelstein…Don't you hate having your hair done?"

"And we have to do other chores…"

Their eyes seemed to be drawn to my dress as willing months to a flame.

"I don't hate it…necessarily…and I doubt my husband will notice if you two come with for an hour or so…If you do get in trouble, I'll tell him it was completely my idea and I nearly begged you to stop working…"

After a moment of consideration, I was given an answer. "Well…Alright."

"Come with us."

"Thank you…"

I was kept in the same room my hair was always done in. My pins and diamonds were already waiting for me upon the vanity before my seat. I couldn't help but watch as they captured my tresses and made them into something lovely. Pins held each stand in its proper place, and my scalp seemed to be growing used to carrying to much weight. It was still quite the task, managing such a garden of jewels, but I would be deceitful if I didn't admit my hair was a masterpiece…

"Thank you…It's lovely…"

"It's no problem, Mrs. Edelstein. I would touch your hair any day if it met avoiding my chores."

I laughed.

"Would you like us to call in your make-up artist?" The other suggested.

"Oh, please…Would you?"

"Yes. Just a moment."

And once again, I was transformed into the doll I had only been twice before. The next errand to accomplish was my lunch, which had been waiting patiently for five minutes. I hoped no one had told Roderich of my appearance. I truly wanted to surprise him with my rouge stricken face and luxurious dress…

I entered the dining room to find him sitting before a platter of untouched nourishment.

"…You didn't have to wait for me…"

"Oh…My goodness…Why are you dressed up like that, darling?"

"…I thought it was unfair for you to have to be stuck in front of a desk all day while I sat around and accomplished nothing…I wanted to look lovely for you…Perhaps tonight we can have a candlelit dinner, and before we go to bed, I'd like to rub your back…"

"Well, firstly, you always look lovely, and secondly that sounds like a wonderful idea…But…"

"But? Oh Roderich, please, no buts..." I took a seat across from him, frills adhering securely to my legs. "I'd do anything for a bit of time with you...I'll pay you if you ignore your work for just an hour…"

"Well, goodness. I'm not a prostitute." He smiled, seeming to be entertained at the idea. "I can certainly make dinner…But I might have work remaining…" Eyebrows knitted together at his forehead and a sigh escaped from a pretty frown. "…I'm sorry…Things should calm down eventually…and then we can actually spend some time together…"

"…Oh…Well…" A response couldn't be produced…It was plain disappointment.

"…I know…I'm bored too…"

"…Roderich…Will you send me away a while?"

"…What?"

"…I've been looking at all those pretty picture books you have and it breaks my heart that I'm stuck in your library…" I leaned into my open palm, twisting my lips up oddly.

"You're not serious are you?"

"No." My voice sounded as if my head was locked in a dream…Perhaps France or Spain. "No. I'm only kidding…"

"…Well…I can't take you far, but when I'm done with all of my work, we can go into town…"

"That would be wonderful…I've barely seen it yet…"

"…I'm sorry…I'll buy you a few more books, if you'd like…I know I don't have many picture books…"

"You don't have to do that…" I touched his hands with my finger blades and offered him a miniscule smile. "It's very kind of you, but you have plenty of books…I just want to spend time with you…"

"…You're very sweet Elizaveta…Shall we eat?"

"Yes. Please."

My heart became somewhat broken when Roderich had to go and read more of those damn documents…But before he was able to break through those two double doors, I stopped him.

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

"…I'll see you after dinner, won't I?"

"Perhaps…I'll try…I really will…"

"…Alright…Good bye, Roderich…"

"Good bye, Elizaveta…"

And I was left alone once again, a silken dress wrapped tightly against my skin and making me feel mildly uncomfortable. It almost seemed to be for nothing. I used nearly three hours of time to resemble a doll, and to be seen for only a fraction of the day. If he couldn't break away from his desk after tonight's dinner, it would most definitely be a waste…

Hours past, some spent amongst the flowers in our garden, and some in the library. One was even spent in my office with the stained glass window. I composed a poorly written poem that was given to the trash bin shortly after its birth…

When it was finally time for our last meal, I was somewhat depressed. I knew he would have to return to his paper soaked desk, and leave me to sleep alone. I wished to tear all the diamonds from my hair right then, but forced my fingers beside my legs.

I had actually made my arrival early, and caught the servant bringing in one of the several lit candles inside. He set it upon the table, which was glowing with soft and pretty light.

"Hello…"

"Oh!" I had surprised him. "Hello, Mrs. Edelstein…I'm sorry…I should have this done…"

"Oh, no…That's alright. It looks very nice…"

"Thank you…"

I assumed my normal place and waiting politely with my hands against my lap. I tried to mask my feelings behind a lovely red grin, and found it difficult. Perhaps it was out of line to be upset over such an easy life, but when you don't have a single friend you can openly talk to, and your husband is a constant hostage to his job, you begin to feel lonely.

Was it wrong to want company?

Moments past, and all the candles were placed as well as the main dish. And yet, I was without a husband.

A sigh.

I would wait just as he had for me, but I was quite hungry, and wished for a handsome man to speak with.

The wine before me was causing my mouth to become dry, and the smell of the roasted poultry was making my stomach barren. Top teeth bit down upon my bottom lip, which I had been picking at in deep thought.

What pain I was in…The walls of my stomach were throbbing, and my head was growing heavy from the lush mess taking residence on top of it. The dress I was wearing was causing beads of sweat to form behind my knees, and I couldn't have felt more uncomfortable.

Finally, the door opened and Roderich came in with quick feet. He sat across from me and gave me a mild grin.

"Hello." I was first to raise my voice.

"Hello. I'm sorry I'm late…"

"That's alright…"

"Thank you for waiting." The first thing that was taken from the table was the bottle, and the cork was immediately removed. "I'm sure you're hungry…"

"Only a little bit…" My glass was filled first. "Thank you."

"Well…I have good news, I suppose."

"You do?" The deep liquid was taking the shape of his chalice, and I sat in anticipation for his next words. "What is it?"

"Well, I won't have any work tomorrow, but in order to have that happen, I'll have to work tonight…"

"Oh, Roderich…I can't be pretty two days in a row…It's too much of a chore…Look at this mess…" I pulled away a stray curl only to have it bound back against my ear. "I'm going to be hideous tomorrow…"

"Darling, you're lovely everyday…How many times do I have to say that before you'll believe me?"

"Twenty."

"Twenty? That seems like quite a bit, Elizaveta…"

"Well, you asked how many times you would have to say it…"

"Fine. You're lovely." That statement was repeated nineteen more times, which were counted off on each finger twice. "In fact, you're so lovely; I'll hurt my voice just telling you so…Now do you believe me?"

"No."

"Oh, Elizaveta…You're so cruel…"

"I'm sorry Roderich. I only play these games because I like you…Remember that. It's easy to forget…" I drank a healthy amount of my glass. "Now, about this work…Can't you just do it tomorrow? I'm afraid your brain will go numb tonight, and tomorrow won't matter because you'll be in a coma…"

"I doubt I'll be in a coma…"

"But you could be…A break isn't going to hurt you…It won't put you in a coma…" I finished my glass and had it filled instantly. "Don't you want me to rub your back? I'm not bad at it…"

Gilbert seemed to like having his back massaged.

"But Elizaveta…I'll have a break tomorrow. We can spend the whole day together and you can rub my back until your arms fall off…You'll just be upset if you have to wait even more."

"But Roder-"

"No. I'll just finish it tonight. You'll be happier…"

"No I won't…" I wore a slight pout and drank more wine. "…I wish I could have more time with you…Or maybe just have someone to keep me company…" I felt my eyebrows shift and I sighed deeply. A prison was a prison no matter the size of the cell. For a moment, it felt as if I was being punished. Solitude was wonderful only when it was optional…Now I longed for someone to speak to…and more than just a few minutes.

"…I'm sorry…" He said. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow…But please let me finish tonight…"

Compromising made me want to cry. Was it so hard to just come with me? Was I not gorgeous enough, or had he simply stopped wanting to be in my presence? Damn it, this entire marriage was based on a monstrous compromise I had to make, and was an hour of attention really so much to demand?! I was trying so hard to be attractive and this idea seemed like such a wonderful way to spend an evening, but what was the point if he left after thirty short minutes?

My frustrations were hidden, but only enough to keep tears from marring my face. I'm sure there was some unpleasant air sticking to me as tightly as my scarlet fabric was, and it wouldn't allow itself to be buried behind a false smile...

When my husband tried to exit, I stood and stared at him, ready to take blood.

"Where are you going, darling?"

"Elizaveta…Please don't do this."

"Do what, exactly? I have no idea what you're talking about, Roderich."

"I'll only be an hour or so…Please…You're frightening me…"

"An hour or so with what? You still haven't answered my question."

"…I'm going to work…"

"Hmm. That's interesting…Because you're going to spend an hour or so with me…Don't you remember?"

"Elizaveta…I'm going now…Please don't smother me later tonight…"

As he turned to walk away, I chased after him, throwing my heels with little regard to the air. They clattered against the floor, and before I could take any ground, he was speeding away from me, the pace of his feet moving much faster than I had anticipated.

"You get back here, Roderich!"

"Why have you lost your mind?!"

We were sprinting throughout the halls and blazing past poor unsuspecting servants. He was always between three to ten paces away from y hungry grasp, and despite my aching feet and loss of breath; I continued to hunt him as my prey.

Finally, he stopped before his office fumbling nervously with golden keys. I didn't wait. My body lurched forward and caught him in a vicious grip, prepared to hold him an eternity.

"Elizaveta!"

"You're not getting into this room!"

"Let me go!"

"No!"

"Elizaveta!"

"No!"

His feet shuffled, trying to free himself of my hold, and to counter him, my feet moved from their posts as well. It was at that moment my ankle twisted, and because of my loyalty to capturing Roderich, he fell with me, his body tossed to the marble first. Both of us were yelling, and I feel on top of him, his figure becoming an excellent cushion.

"Ah! Elizaveta…Why?"

"…Oh, Roderich…"

We were both out of breath and I was trying with great difficulty to suppress my laughter.

"Do you remember what I said?"

"What?" his eyebrows furrowed, each sapphire sinking in pain.

"I said you should remember that I like you because it's easy to forget…" I kissed his lips, which were parted and taking in air greedily. "Well, I like you…"

His head rested against the cool marble, and an instant smile molded his mouth. He was laughing, mildly at first and then more boisterously. I joined him.

It was the first time I had seen him so joyous. For a short moment, pure happiness found me, and I felt comfortable with being in such a ridiculous position.

"Alright…" My husband was becoming composed once again. "Alright, Elizaveta…You win…I'm yours…Please help me up…"

"Thank you." A kiss was shared. "And I only had to chase you down." I dismounted him and offered him my hand, which he took without hesitation.

"Well, at least you didn't tie me up…"

"I could have…" I smiled and let my lips play upon his cheek.

"A back rub would be wonderful right now…"

"I'm glad we understand each other."


	8. Chapter 8

"Elizaveta, you have another gift from your secret admirer."

"I do?"

Weeks had passed since I had sent Gilbert my photograph, and curiosity was at its peak. He always had a trick to pull and I was wondering what he had arranged next.

We were sitting at dinner and picking at our plates through pleasant conversation. I had quite a few thoughts demanding my attention, and all of them were directed at my Prussian.

"Yes, you do. It's heavy…Whoever this man is; he certainly sent you something worth looking at."

"Roderich, do you mean to say you're jealous?"

"Why should I be jealous of a man without a face?"

"Maybe it's not even a man…Maybe it's a woman."

"A woman? Do you mean to tell me you've stolen the heart of a woman?"

"Well, it was unintentional if I did…" My lips curled into an odd shape. "But I doubt it's a woman."

"Elizaveta, are you sure you have no idea who this person is?"

"Positive…I'm just as baffled as you are…After all, he or she wouldn't be a secret admirer if I knew who they were, silly."

Roderich was giving me a ridiculous grin. "What a strange woman I'm married to…"

"Strange? What makes me Strange?"

"Well, you hate dresses, heels, and having your hair done…You've just suggested that a woman is in love with you, and you've called _me_ silly for thinking you might know this person." A bean found a spot in between his twisted lips. "Not to mention you chased me down to give me a back message…Even if that was only once…"

"…Well…I'm sorry you think I'm strange…" Was I supposed to sound so wounded?

"Darling, I'm strange too. It's nothing to feel bad about."

"What? You're not strange. What makes you strange?"

"Well, to start, have you seen my house?"

"Yes…I live here…I would hope I've seen it."

"Alright, well, have you seen any part of it dirty?"

"…No." I had to seriously put it into thought. Not one room in the entirety of his estate was in any kind of disarray. Even the places he had just exited were in perfect sorts.

My response caused an eyebrow of his to rise. "Have you seen my feet without socks?"

"…No!"

His smile was fed as a monster in a cage. "I have an addiction to cake…I get a severe sunburn every summer, I'll be upset if I don't practice my playing at least an hour everyday, and no matter what I do, this stupid hair always stands up." Fingers slid over the stray lock growing wildly from his part and sprang right back into position. "Not to mention I'm beginning to love a strange woman who hates fancy dresses and getting her hair done, so I must be strange too."

My cheeks burst with bright hues. "Roderich, why do you have to be so charming?"

"You think I'm charming?" Laughter wanted to come out, but was forced to stay in. "…You're kidding."

"No…I'm not." It was as if I would let my consciousness break from me.

My husband admired me through those beautiful sapphires. "You really are lovely…especially when you blush that way."

"Thank you."

Through the duration of dinner, the thought of the package ate away at me. What had he possibly sent that was heavy? Whatever it was, I was certain to like some part of it. Gilbert knew me far too well.

When our plates were left only with scarps of food and little remnants of sauce stuck to white glass, we moved into our bed room. As the doors met the well composed frame, Roderich's hands met my laces, gently unraveling them and loosening the silk around my figure.

"Darling, wait a moment…"

"Why?" His voice played while he stroked at my curves with slow palms.

"Be-because…I'd really like to see that package…Before we forget…"

"Can't that wait?" Hands pulled me in by the hips and our bodies brushed sensually.

"No…I'll go mad…please…"

My husband didn't acknowledge my words because his fingers were still prying fabric from my bare skin.

"Roderich!" The first layer was confiscated, underskirts forming wrinkles around my legs as my top half met the air. Immediately, my arms covered naked breasts while my face was invaded by a deep wave of ruby. "Listen!"

"What?" His tone held a mild annoyance.

"Please…Will you let me see my mail?"

"Elizaveta, you're almost nude…I'll get it for you as soon as we're finished…I promise…"

The thought was heavily weighed. "Yes…Alright…"

"Thank you, dear." He didn't take a moment to stop working on my fleeting attire. Skirts were pulled to my ankles, which were followed by my undergarments to form a small selection of silks.

"Honestly." My fingers pushed buttons through their respective holes on my husband's outfit, as they usually did at this point. I was offered a pathetic smile for my compromise, and there was nothing that could be accomplished but a sigh. "I can't even have my mail anymore…Naughty Roderich is far too impulsive…" I yanked him into a kiss by the collar around his neck, which was still dressed in a frilly cravat.

I felt a smile against my lips. "Elizaveta?"

"What?" My hands were still busy at work with every one of those god damn buttons.

"Nothing…"

"You can tell me…" The last clasp was undone, and I pushed away the blue fabric masking his shoulders, only to find a chest covered by a creamy shirt with a plethora of mocking buttons, each one laughing at my dismay. "What's the matter with you?!" My hands were furious and wanted to tear the shirt right from his torso, but set to their overbearing task.

"I can do it…"

"No, no…What were you going to tell me?"

"Nothing, really…I'm sorry I have so many buttons…"

"Well, I share the feeling…"

"…Elizaveta?"

"Yes, Roderich?"

"…Nothing."

I was stricken with a few small laughs. "You _are_ strange, aren't you?" My mouth expanded at the edges and I donated a gentle kiss. "I swear I'm going to rip this shirt off…"

"I can do it…But please don't tear my blouse…It's my favorite…"

"I'm only kidding…It's almost off anyway…"

"Elizaveta?"

"Yes?" A palm of mine found a warm spot in between his legs. "What is it?" My voice was set as if I was singing a very obnoxious song. "Can I help you? Do you need assistance?"

"No…No thank you…I'm fine…"

"Well…Alright…Suit yourself."

"El-"

"What is it, Roderich?" Laughter was going to take me.

"…I love you…"

"…Really?" My hands dropped to my sides. "You're kidding…aren't you?"

"No…Not at all…"

And I had to stare. I simply had to stare with my eyes wide and my bottom lip sinking. There was no possibility of such a gorgeous man loving me…He was too perfect…Soon I would wake up in my peaceful cottage with a Prussian at my feet smiling. He was there most days when I woke up…And he was perfection too…But it was a different brand…

"…Why are you looking at me that way?" The sound of his heart shattering was loud. "…Do you believe me?"

"…No. Aren't husbands and wives supposed to hate one another? I'm supposed to complain about you, aren't I? That damn Roderich…He won't even let me see my mail…and he never takes off his socks…and he'll go mad if he doesn't play the most gorgeous songs-" My voice was cracking as old porcelain, and my heart was beginning to well over with vivid emotions. "And he's too handsome with that idiotic hair and those beautiful eyes…It's horrible…" I was no longer able to look at him, because I would truly break down if it wasn't all just fantasy.

"And that damn wife of mine…" I felt a gentle hand at my neck with a thumb settling against the crook. "She hates dresses and having her hair done, and she thinks I'm silly when she suggests the most ridiculous of things…Just looking at her makes me feel like I'll pass out…She's so lovely…It's terrible…" My cheek was marred by fiery kiss. His affinity burned itself there and left a mark that hurt long after he took his lips away. "Well…Even if we are supposed to hate one another, I simply can't hate you…I'm sorry if I've disappointed you, Elizaveta…"

I turned to him, and knew my face would be flooded soon enough. My vision was already cast into a veil of warm droplets, but I could still see his handsome face from behind it. If only I had clothes…

"I love you…" He told me again.

"Don't you think it's early?" I wiped away tears with my barren skin. "I mean…you haven't had me very long…"

I wondered if I was ready for him to love me…The inside of my mind was an intense war between a Prussian and an Austrian.

"Perhaps…But why should I hesitate? We're already married…Aren't we? Does two months seem so short?"

It was true. I had belonged to him for nearly sixty long days, and it wasn't as if we were required to meet for our time spent together. We inhabited the same mansion and saw each other morning and evening.

"Do you feel the same?" His heart was in his hand, and he was holding it to me. I held an ice pick.

Should I let it fall to the floor?

There was no reason why I shouldn't love him…He was handsome and so very kind…He was wonderful…Truly…And if I didn't love him now…I would eventually, wouldn't I?

But…Did I?

"Yes…I do…"

And instead, I pierced my own heart through.

"I just can't believe that you love me…"

And I twisted. I twisted while arms caught me and kept me against the soft fabric of the blouse I had worked so hard on… His hand was lost in my tresses, and I was lost inside my own thoughts.

I was truly crying, and all of my confusion drained onto his naked chest. The knife kept turning as kisses were abandoned upon his skin. The point pressed in deeper, twisting while my pain bled through my eyes, and twisting as my lips pressed so gently to his warmth.

I was lucky, and so very unlucky at the same time…Here I was in the arms of embodied perfection and all I desired was the man with so many scars…I hadn't forgotten about him…Moments like this always brought him back.

My entirety was a mass of disorganization, and the only one who could possibly understand was in Prussia…I was certain his heart was spilling out in his palms as well…

Thinking about him made more tears form…I didn't want him to be depressed…I hated to see him in misery…I hated to see him angry. I wanted to see him happy…I just wanted to see him…

"Elizaveta…Would you like to go to bed? We don't have to do anything…if you wouldn't like to…"

"No, no…Just give me a moment to calm down…It's unfair to hold you this way and just make you sleep…"

"Alright…" A kiss was pressed to my enflamed cheek, and we didn't take our arms away from one another.

That night, passionate love was made, but not from the contribution I had made. And afterwards, I was embraced and embraced him back, but before I could remind him about my package, he had fallen asleep.

I gave my hopes away and let the dream world have my body…Maybe there I could belong to Gilbert…


	9. Chapter 9

I awoke to a bed that had lost a man, and as his replacement there was a package resting in the indent he had given the sheets as a memory. The gift bound in durable brown paper sat upon my lap and without a moment of consideration, my hungry fingers stabbed into its flesh, trying to tear open its dark skin.

It was a weighty thing, and even the seams that held it together refused to part. I found that most of my strength was being contributed to nothing.

"Goodness, Gilbert…You have to make everything so difficult…" Finally, a hole was made, a large slash from the bottom to the top of the package. A light grassy colored fabric poked from the wound and bled onto my lap.

It brought me tears.

God damn…I loved that Prussian.

It was similar to the old dress I used to wear so often, but it was modified. Like everything else in my wardrobe, it was constructed of the finest materials and was long enough to kiss my ankles. It was so incredibly simplistic, and I could wear it, if Roderich would allow me…

And in that sweet morning light, water was seeping onto the sweetest memory I owned. My old life…It was pressed against my naked chest and leaking upon my arms. Perhaps it was only a remnant of types, but it was something, and it was mine…

That morning, I left my body to soak in steaming bathwater with my hair flowing in the water like the fins of a glorious fish. It kissed my frame and ate me alive…For the first time in a long while I had felt beautiful…

Emotions had left me a paraplegic, and the tears in my eyes had made my vision fade. There couldn't be a certain feeling for me, simply because I had too many factors blasting from different directions…

I was ecstatic for such a wonderful gift, but so very sad that I might never see the giver's lovely face.

Yesterday was still lost in a misty veil, and like a dream, it had vanished. The review was played so many time over in my mind until I could hardly bear it, and yet, there wasn't any sense to made…But how could there be? It was so very simple…and I couldn't come to accept it.

I truly wasn't prepared for Roderich to love me, because I wasn't prepared to offer my love in return.

Perhaps it would have been easier if my Prussian wasn't so determined to keep me as his…Because I never could be…Waiting for letters without labels and holding a soft green dress brought him to the forefront of my mind, and brought me right back to the first day I was wed. The scab covering the wound was torn from my skin, and once again, blood gushed as water from a chiseled fountain.

It was just a horrid game that would never have a winner. If his advances never stopped, we would play into eternity.

But my adoration for his sloppy words and occasional stains prevented me from asking him to quit…My heart couldn't be pieced together if it had shattered…

As I stepped from the porcelain vat, I looked to the window hovering high upon the wall, the sun's glow breaking through it and taking me into a warm embrace. Gilbert's dress was sitting at the foot of the tub, pressed into a neat square. The light was affecting it as well, making it almost illuminate, due to the material it was made of.

I allowed by body to dry, and once more, my cheeks were marred. This morning was so gorgeous…and after an entire two months, I just wanted to be in my old home. I was so happy with things the way they were…and now my world was gripped and shaken. The simple girl was made into a duchess, and there were doubts as to if I could ever bind to this new life...

When my body was no longer damp, the dress was slipped over my figure, and held softly to my skin. I adored it even more so, and smoothed out the skirts that licked at my thighs.

I felt something press to the side of my leg, almost near my hip. It felt as a smooth piece of parchment, but was too thick to be a single sheet. The underskirts were lifted, and pinned to the white frills was an envelope that spoke of no addresses. Instead, the word 'Eli' was scribed in deep crimson letters, and I couldn't stop the generous grin from infecting my lips.

How incredibly ingenious…Even if he acted foolish at times, he truly was an intelligent man.

My fingers, stricken with nervous excitement, pried away the golden pin holding it, and adopted the letter into an aggressive hold that tore it apart upon first contact.

Before I read the opening sentence, I decided that I would tell him what transpired between Roderich and me…It would seem wrong to keep such a secret from him…

In this edition, Gilbert went on an extensive page of how lovely I was and how he longed to have me back…Of course, near the end was the mandatory things. A promise we would see one another, an 'I love you' and a final 'Love Gilbert'. As a P.S. he wrote: 'Oh, I'm going to keep the photograph you sent me. I hope you don't need it back, because it's mine now.' Perhaps it would seem rude if one didn't know him, but I found it funny because I knew they way he pronounced his statements…

Before I gave my image to the estate, I surrendered his words to my letterbox after retrieving that handy little key. I looked forward to the day this chest would be brimming with Gilbert's writings, and perhaps the day I could openly speak to him…But that day might never find me…

As I tucked the old wooden box away under lacey bed skirts, my bottom came into contact with the cool marble. I didn't feel the desire to accomplish anything. My body felt devoid of what little energy I had, and the temptation to submerse myself in soft sheets was becoming irresistible…

No…No one would care if that lazy Elizaveta took a nap. She didn't have a duty, especially on days when there were no celebrations. She was simply a burden who would do a better job unconscious than speaking.

My head sunk into one of the several feather filled pillows upon our perfectly made bed, and sleep took me as death…How tiring these rages were…

Dreams seemed to be the only free things anymore…because everything came such at a high price…But these faux moments bought me happiness, and they were mine to manipulate…

If only that man named Gilbert wasn't fiction…

"Elizaveta…"

The noise of quiet laughter grasped me and forced my eyes to the glow.

"…Hello…"

"What in the world are you wearing?" A stray kiss found a bed upon my lips.

"This is the gift from my secret admirer…"

"Well, he certainly has a poor taste in dresses."

"…What? I like this outfit…"

"…Well…That's one of us, I suppose."

I looked away a moment, becoming mildly perturbed. "Would you be happier if I never wore it again?"

"…It really doesn't fit you, dear…I don't think you should…And even if you did, I'd advise you to stay in doors…"

"Those idiotic dresses I have to wear don't fit me either. In fact, I hate them. Just because this doesn't weigh more than I do doesn't mean it's ugly. Why do all of my outfits have to be complex?"

"There's no need to be upset. I'm not the one who makes the rules…If you walk around in this dress; the entire nation will be laughing…"

"What about you? Your clothes have tacky patches sewn all over them! They're already laughing!"

My husband smiled, something sinister begging to leave his lips. "Oh, I'm sorry, Darling. I spent all of my clothing money on your wardrobe. Excuse me for thinking you should wear something above rags."

"These aren't rags!" I protested. My brows must have bent significantly. "I never asked you to buy a damn thing for me. I would be happier in my old clothes, since you're so very concerned with saving your money…even though you have enough to bathe in."

"And why do you think I have enough to bathe in?!" He became enraged, and I was shocked, never hearing such a tone escape his lips. "Because I actually have a set budget for such things as clothes and food, and whatever else you can possibly imagine. If you're going to be ungrateful, you can pay me back, because you're absolutely right. I didn't have to get a damn thing for you!" He left my side and moved away a few paces. "Of course, it's important that you look presentable, but if you'd like to humiliate me and our entire country, please feel free to do so. After all, my opinion doesn't matter, does it?"

"Fine! If you hate this god damn dress so much, I'll take it off and break my back!" I was tearing the green fabric from my body and letting it crash into marble.

"You're lucky I even let you keep these horrid gifts! Any normal husband would throw them out as soon as he got them!"

I stopped, my bare chest heaving. I was nearly out of tears, and yet they were so close to giving me away. "Fine. I won't wear it." Somehow my voice became far calmer, but still shook as if I had been choking. "It was just nice to finally have something simple that didn't cause me pain…"

And I covered my breasts and turned away, tears descending.

These gifts weren't horrid…They were some of the best I had ever received…Was it so much to ask to wear such a thing inside our home? It certainly wasn't worth this caliber of argument.

"Stop it!" My husband's tone was still aiming to cut deeply. "Why are you crying?!"

"Because I can't stand this god damn mansion anymore!" I wiped my eyes. "I haven't been home in two months…I haven't worn normal clothing in two months…I haven't even seen a cottage in two months…And for some reason you love me...Which I don't even want to think about right now because I'm so homesick…Maybe your other wives were from this kind of life, but I'm not…I grew up in a dirty dress and a grassy field…Just what in the hell do you expect from me?!"

He had fallen silent, and the only sound inhabiting room being my distress.

Moments commenced, and finally, I calmed myself. My tears were healthy, but I was no longer breaking down.

"…Elizaveta...I'm sorry…" Roderich came closer, his voice dropping daggers. "…This is an idiotic argument anyway…I don't mind if you wear that dress…Just please don't go into town wearing it…" There was a hand at my bare back, and another gracing my shoulder. "…I'm sorry you're having a difficult time adjusting…Sometimes I forget you're not an aristocrat…"

I didn't have a coherent response prepared, so instead I took him greedily into my arms. Perhaps I was still torn, but I would be a terrible woman if I didn't acknowledge his kindness…He was yelling in burning rage only moments ago, and now he returned to normality, and was holding me.

"I'm sorry…Thank you for everything…"

Guilt struck. I shouldn't have been so ungrateful. He had spent quite a fortune on my simple presence…He bought the clips in my hair to the heels on my feet…I didn't have a right to tell him to exceed any budget, even if he had enough money to occupy an entire chamber.

"I'm sorry…" I repeated, face buried deep within his cravat.

"…It's alright…Can we be friends again?"

"Yes…Please…"

"Thank you…" Fingers fell through my cascade of tresses, and a kiss landed upon my crown. "You know…This was our first Argument…I'm surprised we don't have pictures for this too…"

Despite my state, I laughed. At almost every event, especially firsts, we had to pose for pictures, some of which we would never lay our eyes upon. It was truly irritating.

"I love you, Elizaveta…"

"I love you too, Roderich…"

"…I actually came here to tell you that lunch was ready…You're hungry, aren't you?"

"Yes…I am…But you can go eat…I'm going to get dressed…" I sniffed, still somewhat shaken. "I think I'd like a moment or two alone…"

"Alright…If I don't see you at lunch, I'll see you at dinner…"

I nodded and was left to a gargantuan room. I came to a mass of wrinkled green and picked it up only to find a large tear at the bottom of the dress. It was the kind of rip that couldn't be mended without noticeable and ugly stitches.

And once again, I found my heart's shattered pieces strewn all about the marble floor.


	10. Chapter 10

"Elizaveta…I received a letter from Francis…"

"…Why? I thought you two disliked each other…"

My heart was still somewhat torn over my ruined gift, which was impossible to mend. Depression had a gentle grip upon me, but there were times I was allowed to be free and experience joy. Now my melancholy was dissipating if only slightly.

Roderich and I were lying in bed, our bodies pressed against one another's as leaves in a worn book. His chest was utilized as a pillow and I offered an occasional touch of the lips.

"We do…but for some reason he sent me an invitation for a masquerade ball…"

"A masquerade ball?"

"I thought it was odd too…"

"Well…Do you want to go? I think going to France for a few days sounds nice..."

"I don't speak much French…Wouldn't it be difficult to get there?"

"Oh, anyone can speak French. Oui, non, magnifique, couchez avec moi…See?"

"Do you even know what you just said?"

"No, but it was convincing, wasn't it?"

He laughed and our lips blended pleasantly. "Yes, Mrs. Antoinette…You're just like a real French woman."

"Merci." My mouth was given a profession that mirrored his.

"You're welcome…"

It was moments like this when I felt that I could truly grow to love him. There were already strong pangs of admiration that ran passionately through me. They made me forget pains and past engagements with what seemed to be my core melting in my very hands. It was an extreme challenge not to like this man, especially for a naïve heart such as mine.

"…Well, do you want to go? I'd really like to…"

"…I don't know…I really don't…like Francis…"

"He is quite eccentric, but no one says you have to speak to him…Maybe just a quick hello and you'd be free to do whatever you pleased."

A few moments past, and I could almost hear his calculations. I waited for an audible conclusion.

"Have you ever to a masquerade ball?" His voice was gentle, and had a slight dusting of curiosity. I wondered if I had overlooked an obvious motive.

"No…" My answer was just that.

"…I'm sure you'd like them…"

"Oh…"I truly wanted to wear one of those fantastic glittering masks. I didn't even regard all of the horrid preparations. I would exorcise demons in the depths of hell if I could go wearing such a complex decoration... More than anything, I desired one based off of the wings of a butterfly...Any color would satisfy…

"You really want to go, don't you?"

"Oh please, Roderich…I'll do anything if you'll let me attend…"

"But Elizaveta…Those masks cost a fortune…"

Were all of my goals so hard to attain? My heart sank to my ankles as the sun in twilight, and my head rested more heavily against him, submerged neck deep into the black water of evident disappointment. Of course there was an excuse. I was only demanding the entire world as mine. Tearing him away from home for days and requiring another expensive article…It was even too much to ask for a simple hour with him…

"…I would pay for one…if I had the money…"

"I'm sorry Elizaveta…But I can't go on a trip to France…"

"Well…Alright…" I did comprehend his position, but none the less, it was enough to bring dismay.

Roderich attempted to replace my unhappiness with a brush of his lips, but it wasn't enough to pry my feelings from me. I had been trapped in the same prison for what seemed to be an eternity. A small vacation in France sounded so terribly exciting, but it seemed as though I would only be able to see Paris in a black and white mirror.

…If only Roderich would spend a small amount of that extensive fortune on two masks and what could be a few passion brimming days in a romantic location…

"Perhaps we can go into town for a while tomorrow…I know you want to get out…I don't have enough time to take you to France, but I can at least entertain you for a few hours…"

"…Thank you…"

"I love you, Elizaveta…I'm sorry you're disappointed."

"It's alright…I'm asking a lot…As amazing as you are, I can't expect every demand to met…You're a busy man…"

"Thank you for understanding."

"…Where will we go tomorrow?" My voice was coming out softly, and I was already banishing a few unpleasant emotions. "How long do you have to work?"

"I won't. Tomorrow is free."

"…Then…the first thing I'd like to do is take a bath together…

"I'd like that very much…"

"Hmm…" A tinge of disappointment still lingered, but was beginning to loose its enthusiasm. I looked forward to the morning. It had been a long while since we had shared steaming water…

"Good night, dear…"

Our lips had a final meeting before our bodies were dragged into subdued rest. I listened as the clock intoxicated me with its hourly cry, which ceased at eight every evening.

I awoke from a lovely dream wrapped in a velvet haze to find a lovely man clinging to me with pretty lips at the nape of my neck.

"Mmm…Roderich…What are you doing?"

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry, Elizaveta. You looked so lovely…I couldn't help myself…"

"That's quite the excuse…"

"Hmm…" He nuzzled closer, and marred my skin with another passionate kiss. "Darling, will you be ready to go soon?"

"I'm ready to go now…I suppose. May I have a moment to wake up?"

"Certainly." Arms captured me and reeled me in by the waist, and I was welcomed by feverish flesh accompanied by a few affection graces.

"Roderich, you're awful…" I was whining, my words truly more playful than over flowing with complaints. "Treating your poor wife this way when she's just opened her eyes…You'll have plenty of time to harass me once we get into the bath…"

"But you're so adorable when you're sleeping…"

"I'm sure I'm even more adorable when I'm nude…"

"I wouldn't label it as adorable…Certainly attractive, but I can't say adorable…"

I cried out when something sensual snuck against my neck, leaving a little trail of saliva and rouge all over my unsuspecting cheeks. "Roderich, you're so naughty!"

He laughed, finding great entertainment in my outburst. "My apologies…"

I was able to face him, my flesh still much brighter than spring in full bloom. He was such a lovely man…It seemed amazing to think I was in his grasp and at his mercy.

"…I love you, Roderich…" As the words broke the confines of my mouth, a violent wave of shock infested my blood. It was the first time I had initiated the phrase, and it felt as though I had been the cause of a horrid accident, as the first time a curse is uttered, or a regrettable insult… The most heart wrenching thing was that it sounded as if I had actually meant it.

"I love you too…But please…Are you ready to go? I'd like to make your face redder…"

"I'm not sure if you can…but alright…"

With a blanket of troubles nearly smothering me, we moved to the bathroom with our fingers locked together. As soon as the door met the frame, our soft linens left the flesh they were meant to cover and fell useless upon the floor.

Some of my frustrations vanished as smoke formed from a candle. What was going to ensue was certainly a wonderful distraction...

As we waited patiently for the water to inhabit the porcelain vat, our tongues curled together while our palms explored soft skin. A hand of mine located his buttocks and took it captive for myself, holding tightly as if I intended to have it a very long time.

I earned myself quite a number of giggles and lovely pink lips that curled into a grin.

Roderich had been laughing more often, which made me believe I was to blame. Each snigger was so perfect, so there were no qualms when the sound kissed my ears.

This was Roderich in love…How spectacular.

I laughed as our lips met as he did the same to me.

The tub was prevented from adopting any more fluid, with plenty of water lapping softly at the pretty porcelain walls. My husband was the one to be submerged first, and I joined without a single protest.

It reminded me of our first true day together as newly weds. How shy I had been, my face switching shades simply by laying attention upon him. How amusing it was to think I almost lost consciousness sitting across from him. Now my body frosted his and our tongues were greeting one another as familiar acquaintances.

It was certain that some blush remained, but it was no longer plastered upon my cheeks.

Our kiss was broken a brief moment, and I found myself getting lost in that ocean of sparkling sapphires. A palm slid past the frame of his perfectly detailed face as a master artist would with their brush, and I could only admire him. There were no cracks in the marble and no smears upon the painting...

Again, I had to wonder if this man was truly mine. Why was he so utterly handsome…and why were my words of love always lies?

My train of bothersome thoughts was shattered by a sweet voice.

"You're so lovely, Elizaveta…"

"I was about to say the same about you…"

And our tongues presumed their passionate conversation…

It occurred to me how coarse of a language German was, but whenever Roderich borrowed its words, it always sounded so gorgeous. I could listen to him ramble about the most unpleasant subject and by the end of his sermon my heart would be in a puddle surrounding my feet.

"Roderich?"

"Hmm?"

"…What's wrong with you?"

"…What? You're not going to tell me I'm a lousy kisser, are you?"

"No! I mean…You're just so…perfect…"

"I'm not perfect, you silly woman…" His mouth was overcome by a pleasing grin that truly made me feel ridiculous. "Can we please have this conversation later? You know, when your tongue is swollen and it hurts to speak? Because I was busy with making love to you…"

"You really are naughty…"

"Horribly so!" He made the space between our bodies incredibly small, and we were staring at one another, trying to stifle a few over powering laughs. Of course, there was no use. We chuckled with our stomachs pressing fighting for space.

For a moment, he buried my face under an avalanche of kisses, and ended with another deep embrace of the lips while his musician's hands found my chest.

"Mmm…"

"You don't mind this, do you?" Roderich asked with a playful tone.

"No…Not at all…" I placed my seeping hands over his and pressed them in even closer. "Please. Do as you like…"

"Thank you…Here…" He adjusted his body underneath mine, and was now in a comfortable sitting position. "It should be easier this way…"

"Oh, thank you…" I sat upon his thighs and could feel his arousal brushing against me, which didn't agitate me in the least. "You know…We haven't done this inside a tub yet…"

"Well, we should change that, shouldn't we?"

"Yes. I think we should."

Twin smiles and shared lips…

As Roderich played with my breasts, I arched my back and released a small collection of pleasure filled moans. A mouth rested against my neck, beginning to mar my skin with a passionate bruise.

"No…Please…How odd it would be to wear a scarf in the middle of summer…"

"No one will notice, love…"

"They will if I don't cover it!"

"Don't be so difficult. You're ruining the moment."

I sighed heavily, knowing it was to no avail. "I'm sorry…"

Without any further acknowledgment to the issue, his hands were leaving trails of warmth past my curves and found a comfortable crevice in between my legs.

"Mmm…Roderich…"

Musicians truly did have skilled fingers.

Two digits wormed their way in and caused the most wonderful sensations to overtake me. They paced in and out rather slowly, and then in a circular motion, striking all kinds of cords.

"Ah!" My hand grasped the rim of the tub, my mouth widening in blossoming ecstasy.

As Roderich carried out his occupation, my fingers found his member and possessed it, wishing to offer him the same sensation. Slowly, I moved my palm and found a pleasing response.

"Elizaveta…"

"Am I getting better at this?"

"I have absolutely no corrections for you…"

"Ah…No complaints?" We were forcing out statements through repressed moans and gasps; quite a difficult method of communication.

"None...Ahh…"

We went on with our arms in an odd array, pleasure surfacing from our lips and exchanging almost laughable grins.

"Mmm…Would you like to get to business?" I asked, my mouth making such a filthy shape I fought the compulsion to wipe it clean with a cloth.

"Yes…please…"

A kiss was exchanged, and within that touch, I lowered myself further upon his lap, our bodies melding at cardinal locations.

"Ah…" This feeling was at a mutual understanding.

My grip found his shoulders to be excellent handles, and slowly, I moved my hips upward from their position, and then down once more. It was pleasant in the waters, with light basking prettily upon the glassy surface and waves lapping at our moving forms hungrily.

Roderich had secured my waist with both hands, and I moved only faster, starving for satisfaction. I could feel the blades of his fingers adhering to my flesh as a pin into a plump little cushion. My lips quivered as my chin glanced at the ceiling.

"Ah-! Roderich!"

A violent surge of pleasure ripped through me and intoxicated me as strong wine.

My husband had sapphires hidden behind peach curtains, but had a mouth readily exposed. "God…"

I brought my hips away until he was barely submerged and then buried his arousal quickly with an arching back. Roderich had brought his palms higher and allowed me to bend back only a small distance further.

Oh, I adored sex…

"…Do you like this?" I repeated the same motion, perhaps with a lack of speed. A shameless moan was born to the air, and I was beginning to loose my regards to the volume of our noise.

"Ah-! Yes…" His eyes were given to me, which were flooded with pleasure and passion. He was intoxicated nearly to the point of incapacitation. "Please…do that…"

I brought my body a little closer to his with our noses only a short proximity away, and did exactly as he asked. I brought my body up and then back to his lap. His member sunk in deeply and two very audible moans conspired together.

"Elizaveta!"

Hearing him call my name was excellent motivation, and I moved my body with more intensity, my ears starving for that word…

"Ah! Roderich!"

He was moving his pelvis with mine, and I don't even think it was a conscious decision. Our bodies were nearly slamming against one another, and the once gentle waters were flying from the rims with fragmented light dancing madly upon its surface.

Suddenly, Roderich held me tightly, that unmistakable expression inhabiting his face. Our bodies became still except for the heavy rising and falling of our chests.

"Ah…" He wore the mask of a very satisfied man.

"Hmm…You're finished, aren't you?"

"Yes…I'm sorry…"

"No…" I pushed my mouth against his for a fleeting moment. "That was wonderful…" My dismount was small, and I sat upon his lap, leaning my head back. Pleasure was still surging between my legs and a happy sigh found the air. "Oh, Roderich…I love the bath…"

"I do too…"

We giggled into each other's mouths with tongues intertwining. I was certain my mouth would be quite swollen after so many passionate exchanges. We pulled apart and kissed softly.

"Darling…"

"Yes, Roderich?"

"…If you like, I can send you to that ball…I won't be able to accompany you, but…you can go…I'm certain you could at least find your way there…"

"…Really? You wouldn't mind me going alone?"

"Well…I'll send someone to watch over you…and perhaps a translator…"

"But Roderich…It'll be so odd without you…won't it?"

"I'm not much fun at parties….You won't even notice I'm missing…You should do something entertaining, Elizaveta. I know you're bored here."

"Oh…You're so good…" Our lips formed together. "Why are you so sweet?"

"You give me too much credit…I just don't want to see you unhappy…"

"Oh, god…I just want to pounce on top of you again…" I adorned both cheeks with soft kisses. "You're so kind…I love you…"

I would make him the happiest man in all of Austria, even if I had to spit horrid lies from my mouth.

"I love you too…and if you feel compelled to pounce on top of me again, you certainly may…But later, please…"

"Of course…Thank you, love…"

"You're very welcome…"

Our lips were given to one another a final time, and I was swelling with happiness…


	11. Chapter 11

I stood facing my husband with hands occupied within his.

"Oh, Roderich, Thank you so much…Are you sure you wouldn't like to come? It's not too late to pack your things…"

"Yes, darling. I'm certain…Please enjoy yourself…"

"I feel guilty…You're going to be stuck in your office all day and I'll be having a fabulous time in France…Would you like a souvenir? Or maybe you can just come and get your own souvenir…" My fingers were kneading gentle knots into his hands. Now that it was time for my departure, I didn't want to leave my husband behind. It seemed unjust to give him to an office teeming with dry documents and accumulating dust.

"Darling, please. Don't worry about me…Go have fun…"

"I'll miss you…"

"I'll miss you too…" Finger blades graced my blossoming cheek and slid to my crimson lips. Admiration in a touch…It made me want to kiss him. "You're so lovely…Please don't dance with too many men…"

"I can't dance at all if you're not there, Roderich! You're the only one who won't ridicule me for my awful footwork…"

"Excuse me, but are we going soon? It's very important to arrive on time!" My translator had opened the door to that lovely carriage and was observing us with those pretty oaken eyes. Each word that escaped her fairly lips was pressed neatly with a fine French accent. I wondered if I would dislike her simply because she was so lovely.

"Good bye, Mrs. Edelstein. I'll see you again in a few days. Don't worry…You're going to be fine."

"Good bye, Mr. Edelstein. I'll see you again in a few days…Please, do something beside work…"

"I love you."

"I love you too…"

Our lips touched as a bitter sweet goodbye, and a pang of sadness rang through me without sparing a drop of sweet mercy. It occurred to me that this is the first time in our entire marriage we would be apart longer than just a few hours.

"Oh Roderich…"

"You should go before your translator throws a shoe at us. Please don't miss me too much. I'm really not worth so much thought."

"That's such a lie."

"Good bye, love." Roderich showed his back and took paces towards the doors of our gorgeous mansion. The inside was so clean and well kept…Would the Frenchman keep his home in the same fashion?

His fingers captured the handle, and before he applied strength and opened the portal to my mundane, yet beautiful prison, he glanced back at the woman made of stone. Thoughts were scrambling wildly, and so many words came, but my lips had become numb and muscles refused to perform.

"Shoo! Go! Get out of here! Go see the country side and the city and whatever else you possibly can! Go speak awful French with that damn Francis and make sure you enjoy yourself while doing so! I love you, darling! Don't break my heart!" He pressed finger tips to compact lips and blew me a kiss, which I caught wearing an odd sort of smile.

"I love you!"

"Good bye, Elizaveta! You're a silly woman!"

"Good bye…"

He disappeared into a world of lavish treasures and utter boredom, and despite that horrid mundane palace, I was fixed heavily in my place.

"Madame Edelstein! Please come and sit with me! It's very lonely in here!"

"Oh…Alright!" I shook the numb sensation from my knees and progressed towards the carriage, which held a lovely French woman with hair the same shade of sunshine and a baby blue gown.

I sat upon the cushion opposite to the blond fairy, who looked at me so intently with a pair of earthy eyes. Jealously grasped at my neck and shook with intention of stealing a life.

"…Hello." Her perfect rose lips shifted to welcome me into our new living space for the next few days.

"Hello."

"Mrs. Edelstein, would you like to become friends for the next few hours? I think things will be much more pleasant that way."

"Yes…Yes! Friends! That would be fantastic!"

The doll began to laugh. "I'm glad you're so enthusiastic. My name is Monique."

Her tiny gloved hand was offered to me, long fingers creating something so gorgeous…She was allowing me her acquaintanceship in the form of a single touch.

"I'm Elizaveta." I readily accepted.

"Oh, I know. That cute little husband of yours told me to call you Mrs. Edelstein, Mrs. Edelstein. But I think I prefer Elizaveta, don't you?"

"Yes. Friends shouldn't call each other by their last names."

"No, not at all."

Our hands were returned and we delighted in a simple smile as the carriage began to move.

Monique and I spoke until we slept. She was the amiable sort of person who could pull words from your mouth as if they were tied to a thread. Even if I was hesitant to leave my home, I was enjoying myself. It was so wonderful to finally have a companion after so many long weeks. Perhaps I would finally earn a pen pal that wouldn't have to be kept a filthy secret. An aspect of my life that didn't need to be buried with my corpse…How glorious…

On our trip to France, I did exactly as my husband had suggested and kept my focus on the windows which were filled with passing images of miniscule towns and lush emerald fields. I wondered if I would adopt a third love. It was no wonder why so many artists had devoted all of their passion to simply recreating a scene such as this…

"Elizaveta…May I ask you something?"

We were drawing near our destination, and the ball was well within reach. I could taste it, as if its sweet essence was dripping drop after drop upon my hungry lips.

"Oh, yes. I think you already have." I recalled Roderich's response from our first few hours together. Pleasant and unpleasant feelings were brought to me on a silver platter.

"Oh." A grin was embroidered upon her face. "Well, how did you get your husband to love you so much? It's easy to see that he adores you…"

"Why do you ask?" My attention was afflicted to her fingers, wondering where her ring was hidden if she was indeed wed.

"…Because my husband and I have such a…bland relationship…We only speak when we argue…which isn't the most wondrous thing…Am I doing something wrong?"

"…Well…I think I was incredibly fortunate…Roderich and I…well, we simply go well together…He's easy to talk with and he's very kind to me…Perhaps…you simply have to try harder…When he's tired, message his feet…" I tried not to smile when the memory of Roderich evading me through the halls roared back. What an amusing day…and such a hassle over a back rub. "Or do something kind…"

"…Message his feet? But…Madame, that's disgusting."

"Well, perhaps that's part of the problem…I'm certain he's already undressed you…I don't think there's anything more personal than that…Rubbing a toe or two can't be much more unnerving…"

"Oh…perhaps you're right…"

"Be glad to see him when you haven't in a long while…Or at least pretend to be…Have dinner ready when he returns home…Kiss him whenever you can…Simply try your very best to make him happy…and if he's a good man, he'll try his very best to make you happy as well…"

"Thank you…I think you're right…I don't think I'm trying hard enough…"

Finally, the horses froze in their tracks and the wheels of our carriage turned to stone. We were left to gander at the most lavish mansion I had ever seen. This estate made my husband's gigantic home seem modest. I could hear my chin brushing against my knees, and wonder intoxicated me as opium.

"…Oh my goodness…"

"Mon dieu…"

"Ladies, we've arrived…And I think rather early…" The door was pulled open by the man directing our carriage, and we were finally released from our cage. Assistance was provided to allow our feet to the ground, which was so wonderful to come in contact with after such duration…So many hours had been spent on our bottoms within that horrid contraption…and I could only create deceiving dreams of the moment my poor frozen toes would kiss the earth…

"Do you think they'll allow us in?"

"I have no clue, Mrs. Edelstein, but I'm sure you can attain anything by asking nicely…You know the host, don't you?"

"Oh yes…But he could be occupied…"

"Well, whatever the case, why don't you stretch your legs? I'm sure you could speak to those…nice looking gentlemen over there. They might be able to help you…"

Before the mansion was an intimidating iron gate protecting a pleasant courtyard full of lush trees. How beautiful it would be if they blossomed in the spring…An entire sea of glowing pink…I should convince my husband to install such a place…

Waiting at either side of the gate was a single guard in a severe blue uniform, each one young and handsome, but with faces grown far too serious. They observed us with a careful eye, and sent a nervous shiver ringing through my core. I became even more timid when one approached and began speaking in cruel French.

Monique stepped in before anyone would have to be escorted from the premises or converse with the unfriendly end of a nightstick. She offered pretty words to the man; I believe explaining our current blunder as politely as her language's syllables would allow.

Suddenly, input from either party ceased, and the man opened the gate's screeching arms to enter the garden.

"Where is he going?" I asked, completely oblivious to their trade of statements.

"He's going to retrieve your friend…"

"Oh, alright…"

We were stranded through extensive moments, exchanging a few odd and exhausted glances. I wanted to unload my small collection of things and take an incredibly long nap submerged in gentle sheets…My body felt so worn…as a tried glove after a year's abuse…

The guard returned to us with everyone's favorite Frenchman at his side.

"Bonjour! You're here early, Elizaveta!"

"Is that alright? You're not going to make us leave, are you?"

"Of course not! Please, come in. You'd only have to come back in a few hours anyway…You might as well stay." He was now standing before us, a pleasant smile etched upon his face. "Bonjour. I don't think I've made your acquaintance yet." Francis stole the translator's hand away and left a perfect kiss to burn upon her knuckles. "You must tell me your name."

"Oh…Monique…" Her milky flesh was replaced by rich crimson silk, and her pretty lips seemed to quiver. I couldn't place blame upon her…Francis had turned my cheeks the same hue several times before. He was an attractive and charming man…and lacked any form of shame.

"Ah! You're French! Magnifique!" The speech seeping from his lips became an ever flowing river of gorgeous noise, which was mirrored in reply by the blond fairy at my side.

"Well, why don't you lovely women come inside? It's very hot out, and I'm sure you'd like to sit on an actual chair. I'll have someone get your things…"

"Oh…Please…That sounds so wonderful…" I could feel my very brows lying upon my eyelids. "We've been traveling for so long…"

"I'd imagine so…Oh! Where is that husband of yours?"

"He's still in Austria…He was too busy to attend, but he allowed me to come…"

"Hmm…" Blond brows were raised in something resembling inquiry. "Too busy? I think he simply dislikes me…Well, he's going to miss quite the celebration. What a shame…"

Our party moved into the garden before the double doors of the mansion, and I was able to see how wondrous it truly was. Flowers of all shades decorated bushes and the ground, which was composed of rich earth and was barren of stray leaves.

"…Oh…It's so lovely…" My translator was far more taken in than I. Her eyes were brimming with flourishing blossoms and lush emerald leaves while her top lip lost its hold upon the lip residing below it. .

"I'm glad you think so…If you ever want to be alone, it's a nice place to go…" We had approached the handles, and Francis opened the porthole to his gorgeous estate, revealing an inside drenched lavishly and sinking in expensive design.

"Welcome in, ladies. Do you have a place to stay?"

"Oh…No…" I answered. "…We don't…"

"Not a problem. You can both have your own rooms here."

"Vraiment?"

"Oui, vraiment. Go ahead and pick whatever you like."

"Thank you!" I was relieved that I didn't have to rent a room or even go back outside for another moment. Sitting down on something that wasn't in motion sounded nothing but splendid, and perhaps a short session of sleep could be arranged. The party began at eight, and at the moment, the clock read three.

So we chose our chambers from a hallway of uninhabited guest rooms. Mine looked like it belonged in the setting of a fantasy novel. The walls, the curtains, the bed and even the floor were dressed in shades of rose. It was simply too comical to leave be. But despite its odd nature, it was rather cheerful, and lying upon that flourishing bed spread caused a smile to take form upon my lips. For whatever bizarre reason, it felt like home, even if my bedroom wasn't so boisterous.

Servants brought my things in and set them politely upon the floor. There was a common theme amongst them. They were all incredibly attractive. Francis selected his maids from Italian masterpieces. It felt odd accepting favors from models who had been painted a thousand times over…I must have been an ugly bruise upon pearly skin.

When my eyes opened from a dream saturated in pink, I found Monique at the foot of my bed.

"Perhaps I should have stolen this one, Madame…It's very…happy…" She was speaking through stifled giggles.

"Hello, Monique…"

"Hello, Elizaveta…Did I wake you?"

"No, you just surprised me…What time is it?"

"Around five…I'm going to prepare in an hour…In the mean time, would you like to get something to eat with me? You're hungry, aren't you?"

"Yes…" Some of her words became marred. Part of me was submerged in rest, and sleep still crowded at the corners of my eyes. "Francis will feed us, won't he?"

"I hope so…" Her tone was pact with romantic dreams. "What do you think of him?"

"…Why?"

"No reason…I'm simply curious. He's interesting, isn't he?"

"I suppose so…"

"Hmm…" Her eyes were blinded with infatuation.

"…Monique, please don't do anything you'll regret…Francis is charming, but he's also sly."

"Oh, don't you worry about me…I can take care of myself…"

"Alright…Well, let's get something to eat…"

Of course, Francis delighted in assisting us. We all sat comfortably within his dining room, which was just as I had expected it to be. A plethora of chairs surrounded a polished oaken table. There was enough to seat at least sixty, and windows lined the room as soldiers in waiting. Light distorted through their bodies, reflecting an especially soft tone because this extensive day was drawing nearer into the moon's territory. It wasn't yet twilight, but the sun's flare had been reduced to a fleeting glow and within a few hours, the ever shining light would hide under a blanket of snow tipped mountains. Then our celebration would begin…

As decadent pastries landed upon my plate, I showered the scenery with my attentions while Francis and Monique lent their eyes to one another. We had been there only two hours and I already had the desire to return to the comfort of my Austrian's arms. Romance is only wondrous when you're given a role, otherwise, it's simply stomach churning…

"Excuse me." I stated, feet pressing to the floor. "I'm going to prepare. I'll see you both later tonight if not before then. Thank you for the treats, Francis."

"De rien…but don't you want to stay and have a little more to eat? You have quite a bit of time…"

"Thank you, but I don't want to be late…I have a lot of hair to play with…There's no hairdressers with me, so…I'll have to figure it out for myself…"

"…Well, alright. We'll see you later tonight, Elizaveta. Good luck with your hair."

"Thank you."

And I returned to my room and stared at that woman locked within a mirror. Her hair was ragged and her eyes spoke loudly of exhaustion. A brush from the vanity was stolen and placed within her gentle grasp. The teeth licked through her unruly tresses, while her sharp emerald eyes seemed to stare at whoever decided to take her in.

No. This woman wouldn't meld into that collection of dolls. Even if her skin made convincing porcelain; the words from her mouth would never belong to them. She was her own, and no amount of rouge upon creamy cheeks would alter that.

In her own way, she glistened, but the glow everyone was searching so desperately for wasn't hers.

This woman wasn't created for sitting prettily upon a dust infested shelf. She was the constructed to run free within a lush field teeming with shades taken from an artist's paint collection. Her hair couldn't be tamed, and her eyes could never grow dull…If they were forced to, she would be plunged into an abyss and drown within sorrow.

Perhaps this ball wasn't the most capital of suggestions…I knew with hair like straw and a face powered by my own brush, criticism would come as water through a ruined dam…No one would want to hold a conversation with a woman who had the appearance of a peasant, but managed to wrap herself in pricey silk…

And there was a knock at my door.

"Yes, come in…please…"

The response was in snippy and rapid French, which forced a sigh from confines of my lips.

"I don't understand…Parlez-vous…uh…" Francis had once told me the word representing German, but of course, it was carved by time's ruthless claws. "Never mind…"

I heard a cry from the hinges, and the woman who entered had an entire collection of pins and her own brush. None of them were granted diamonds or any other jewel to make them shimmer, but I was relieved either way.

"Oh…Yes…Please…"

She allowed me to trade my skin for another, one far more luxurious. The robe I layered myself in was a boisterous cherry and came in many tiers. It was my most favored dress, despite its weight and length. Only on special occasions was I able to utilize its deep folds.

And I sat patiently as my hair was manipulated into a beautiful twirling nest. Amazingly, she didn't require another ten fingers. It was her own that produced the same result I received in Roderich's palace.

"Merci…" I told her as she organized the remaining pins upon her palm.

"De rien."

I decided that for decoration, I would simply arrange flowers within my tresses. Jewels would be absent, but there would at least be some kisses of color within my garden.

Applying my rouge was simpler than I thought it would be. It stuck without complications and I made certain not to compact roses upon my cheeks. Accenting my eyes also came with little complication, and once that task had been accomplished, only one remained.

Inside a small wooden case lied the most elegant mask I had ever brushed with the blades of my fingers. It was stunning to even fathom it was created for my face.

Just as I had desired, its design was that of a butterfly's wings. They were golden and a lovely pattern filled both frames. Fragile roses dappled either side, each free of imperfections or ugly bruises. I adored the lie I would tell, its delicate words strewn in blond upon my cheeks.

As I tied the red ribbon of my mask into a small bow, I came to a realization. Gilbert would most likely be attending. My heart nearly burst at the seams with overflowing joy and concern. I hadn't seen him for such a lengthy duration of time…and I was certain as soon as our eyes met, tears would mar the rouge upon my face.

I hadn't yet sent a reply to his letter, which made my stomach writhe. Perhaps I would simply have to tell him all I intended to say in person…and I'd rather not witness his reaction…

Gilbert's necklace kissed my skin that evening. The ruby suited my attire, and if he was there, he would be happy to see it dangling so gracefully across my collarbone…

And the clock sitting against the pink painted wall sang a romantic lullaby for anyone fortunate enough to attend its concert. It had been crying out in soft melody every hour for me, and now it spoke quietly of the time.

I abandoned my room, having no more opportunity to collect petals for my lonely tresses. Too many moments had slipped through the sieve that was attention, and now my presence was required outside the garden, where all my borrowed hues lied.

I had located the ball room, with its doors stretched to their limits, welcoming every guest with friendly arms. Francis, Monique and few others waited inside, all wearing elegant and complex decorations. Each of them communicated in soft tones and pretty foreign words.

"Hello, Elizaveta…Don't you look amazing?"

"Thank you, Francis…" I held the inquiries about the Prussian between my lips. I didn't want disappointment to find me. I would simply seek it upon my own feet. "Are you the one who sent the hairdresser?"

"You've caught me. I figured you'd be happier if you had help…"

"Well, thank you…She really came in handy…"

My translator broke into our short exchange.

"I love your mask…and your outfit…and your hair…Madame, you look fantastic!" Monique appeared as a woman trapped in the confines a rose. The dress she wore so precisely mimicked the tone of a blushing flower, with petals wrapped around her hips and blossoming even more as they grew to her feet. The mask adorning her face was lush green and would have actually been quite plain if it had not been for the roses clinging delicately to the corners.

"You look fantastic yourself…"

She was a fruitful pink goddess with soft blond curls billowing from her scalp and gathering at her shoulders. Monique had claimed my roses for herself and had them strewn carefully throughout her own garden…I was glad I hadn't selected such decorations for myself.

"You both look fantastic. Now if you'll excuse me, I must greet all of my lovely guests…"

We were left to study one another's gowns. I was tangled within her frills and feathery tresses…

"Thank you for hiring me as your translator…I'm so glad I was able to attend a ball like this…It certainly tops being locked away in my room…"

"I'm not the correct person to thank…My husband arranged everything…but I'm glad you're here…" I thought of her enjoyment a moment. "…You don't have to follow me…I doubt I'll be speaking to all too many people…You should do some talking for yourself…"

"Really? But…I was hired so _you_ can hold conversations…There's quite a few French speakers here…"

"…Well…If I can't understand a very persistent French person, I'll seek you out. Please…enjoy yourself."

I was taken into a warm embrace, which I returned with equal intent. A woman in my place should have never received such a gift from someone who was employed as a servant, but I didn't care. It was so wondrous to have a friend…With my backing, such rules would never apply. I reused to give a sharp reprimand for something I had longed for, no matter how loudly society screamed its taunts.

"I'm sorry, Madame...Thank you…You're a very kind woman…"

"No, thank you…You're a very nice friend…"

She offered me a grateful smile, and from that moment on, I was left to mingle amongst the French, whose words were nothing but lovely syllables and incomprehensible babble.

As the dancing began, I shifted my lonely feet, determined to have an excellent time, even if my movements would remain singular. I'm certain I appeared ridiculous. Here was this woman dressed in complexities, moving her feet back and forth as if she had never danced before in the entirety of her life…

Minutes past and finally, a handsome man came to my aide.

"Voulez-vous danser avec moi, mademoiselle?"

"…Excuse me?"

I was offered an awkward expression with ruined brows and contorting lips. Desperate for a solution, a hand was held out to me, a pearly glove hiding each perfect finger.

"Oh…Oui." My digits were captured by his, and our bodies began to move in pleasant union. I was placed through turns and simple steps and was fortunate my feet went without bruises or fractures.

Our dance ended, and as soon as the first man left me, another stole his place.

"Bonsoir."

"Bonsoir…" Another charming gentleman with a chiseled face…Roderich's words rang clearly as a church bell. I wasn't to dance with too many men…But it seemed as though I might not have a choice.

Partners were switched as frequently as minutes, and finally, I had to relieve my tired feet of the floor. I placed myself under the stars watchful eyes in a garden sitting adjacent to the ball room. There was a lovely stone bench placed under a tree with its gorgeous branches reaching for the heavens.

A sigh came from my parted lips. Francis had such a wondrous estate, and such handsome guests. There was so much beauty within his life; it was no wonder why he was always blissful…

For a moment, I closed my eyes, allowing a cool breeze to infest the cavities of my silk and sift through my mountain of hair. It was so lovely here…Would I be allowed to truly absorb the scenery? I wanted to see the entire city and all of its dappled stars. Those picture books had infatuated me, and to think I was actually in France was simply baffling…

Now I wanted to capture the entire world's beauty though memories…

"Excuse me…May I join you?"

"Hmm?" I was surrounded by a veil of fantasy and desire.

"May I join you…?"

That voice...

"Gilbert?" The haze I was surrounded in faded with no remainder. My attention was gripped and my hopes were higher than the clouds brushing past the moon.

I turned to see that Prussian man that had so much of my heart as his loyal captive. This moment had occurred so many times in my dreams, and was always there, as a scene engraved with graceful words in a novel…

My heels sunk into luscious grass and I faced him, waiting for my eyes to open and find my husband sleeping peacefully at my side…

I had never seen him in such light…The shadows lapping at his frame only made his features even more defined, and the black mask surrounding those deep eyes took my stare as captive. Snowy hair was kissed softly by a raven's feathers, and I was drowning in my own disbelief.

"…Look at you…" His eyes were stolen by a glorious woman wrapped in ruby, and he drew nearer to her with parted lips and amazement blatantly etched within his gaze. "Just…look at you…"

And I ran for him, a fantasy I needed to translate to reality.

He was locked tightly within my grasp, and I was caught within his.

"Gilbert…I've missed you so much…I can't believe you're here…" Complete impulse conquered my senses and I mashed our lips together. Again, I was drenched in the fiery passion I had nearly abandoned to time. "I love you…"

Just as I had predicted, emotion was seeping from my eyes and melting with my rouge. But I didn't care. This was Gilbert…I was finally able to have his touch again…to take in his scent…to be his even if it was only for a few dark hours…

"Oh, Elizaveta…I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to touch you…You're so gorgeous…"

"Thank you…" I was left with an empty mouth, too stunned to create coherent thoughts.

"Did you get my letter?"

"Yes…I have…Thank you for the dress…I love it…" My sleeve absorbed what ugly mess was forming below my nose and eyes. "I'm sorry I haven't answered yet…There's almost too much to say…"

"It's alright…You can tell me all about it now…or not…I don't care. You're here…I'd feel the same even if you were insulting me." He placed a kiss upon my forehead, lips burning a lesion there even after they were taken from my skin. "…I love you…I'm sorry I haven't seen you before now…"

"That's not your fault…I don't expect you to break into my house and steal me away…even if you very well could…"

Gilbert laughed. "Well…You are _my_ damsel in distress…but I think I'd make a better villain…" A lock of mine was pushed from my face and found a comfortable home behind my ear.

"Even if you weren't the hero, I'd be by your side…"

A serine silence engulfed us, and I felt as if a desperate wish was granted. Through the last months, my love was neglected, but now he was standing before me, unchanged since the first day I had left him…Adorations brimmed within my heart, almost bleaching away all of Roderich's embraces and thoughtful kisses…

I could never love him as much as I loved Gilbert…

How cruel life was…

"…Would you like to sit down?" Words exposed themselves softly.

"Yes…I would…"

Our bottoms were placed side by side upon engraved stone, hands tied together with unbreakable ribbon. I was living within a painted memory from what felt like many years ago…Nostalgia was tangled with reality, but I didn't concern myself. These pleasures were rare…

"Gilbert…"

"Yes?"

"…Roderich…told me that he loves me…I thought you should know…"

His comply stole minutes. "…Of course he does…You're a charming woman…It's good you're married to someone who loves you…As much as I hate him…I'm happy he does…because I'd hate him even more if he didn't…Of course…He doesn't love you as much as I do…He can't…We've known each other ever since we were children…and I've loved you a very long time…He can't even scratch the surface of what we had…I doubt anyone can…"

"No…" I had to remove droplets from melting the rose strewn across my face.

Gilbert was a part of me too deeply rooted to be removed, and no one in this glorious world could steal his place, no matter how their efforts flourished. I was born for him…just as he was born for me…So many shining and broken moments were shared between us, and our connection was tied securely at the core. No fingers could pry it apart…It was more durable than steel.

"…How long are you staying for?" His inquiry destroyed my cyclone of scrambled emotions and unfinished thoughts.

"…Another day or so…"

"…Will you spend tomorrow with me?"

"Of course…I'd like nothing more…"

"Thank you…" His fingers took possession of my chin and my gaze was forced to stare into burgundy eyes. Our lips melded together and our tongues mingled. My grip was dragging him in deeper, demanding to have him closer.

…What would it be like to make love with him?

…We were already so passionate with one another…

It had to be nothing but astonishing…

Our mouths separated, and we gazed at one another. We rarely shared such intimacy, and when we had, it was nothing like this…

"…Look Gilbert…I've learned how to kiss…"

My Prussian didn't have a response. Instead, moist lips were pressed to my forehead, while hands secured either side of my face. "…Will you dance with me?"

"Yes…I will…"

I had no more partners for the rest of the evening, and until the first hour of the new day, my feet moved in perfect agreement with Gilbert's…How I had adored him…


	12. Chapter 12

I left my painfully bright room to find a skewed Monique leaving her chamber with Francis shortly behind her trail. The man's smile was hardly inconspicuous and both had their attention drawn to me.

"Good morning, Madame…" Monique's hands smoothed out her dress, marred by deeply set creases and unbecoming wrinkles. An uncomfortable cough arose from her throat.

"Good morning. Did you enjoy yourself last night?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Silent French words curled within her ear, a bothered expression barely flashing inside her eyes, yet it was very much alive. A response came from her worried mouth in the same tongue and volume, but there wasn't a purpose. I wouldn't comprehend her statements if she screamed them within the confines of an auditorium.

"Well…I'm certain breakfast is almost ready…" The tense air binding all our mouths was poorly broken. "Let's move into the dining room, shall we?"

"Yes, please."

Disappointment flooded my stomach. I didn't want to allow Monique even a gaze. It was both that upset me, but the most bile was directed at the gorgeous woman paces my superior. Francis didn't ask the fairies he collected questions. One couldn't be disappointed if there were no chancy inquiries because that meant no heart breaking replies. That man would be satisfied with a wed mother or a widow lost in the hold of depression.

We arrived to the dining room, which was soaked with bright sunlight and had people occupying nearly every position. I was anticipating sitting next to Gilbert, but that wouldn't hold any importance if every place had a keeper.

"Eli!" My attention was drawn to the corner of the table, which was blessed by a small amount of space and a chair in need of a bottom.

Before my home was stolen so brutally from me, I rushed to his side and sat upon a comfortable cushion. A demure kiss sought security upon my cheek.

"Hello, Elizaveta."

There was a voice at my blind side.

"Oh hello, Antonio."

If there was ever Gilbert there was also a Spaniard and a Frenchman.

It was astonishing that one man could have such a collection of attractive acquaintances. This edition was a deep brunette and had skin blessed with a handsome olive tone. His eyes reflected sparkling emeralds and with lips more attractive than any woman's, one glance could most certainly carry the role of an assassin.

"How have you been?"

"I've been well…I wish I could have seen you yesterday. Everyone was talking about an enchanting woman wearing red and a butterfly mask…But no one told me it was you…"

"Not everyone…"

"Well, if not everyone, then quite a few people…Especially Gilbert." I was given a light elbow and a rapid wink. "How have you been?"

"…I've been…fine. It's nice to see a few faces I recognize."

The Spaniard nodded and I turned my fascination to Gilbert, who had taken custody of my hand ever since I had joined his side.

"How did you sleep?" A genuine smile shaped my lips. I was ecstatic to even be near him.

"…Deeply…I dreamt of you…"

"Did you? I dreamt of you too." It required an entire body of control to keep my mouth from gracing his.

"What happened?"

"You tell me first."

Before a response was even formulated, his grin was saturated in filth. "Well, it's quite inappropriate..."

My hand whipped his chest in play. "Fine. Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"Hey! No hitting!" His voice was a poor imitation of a child's and a slap grazed my arm without affliction or distress.

And I did the same, a few snickers coming from strictly pursed lips.

We were launched into the most ridiculous of battles, hands exchanged with the intensity of bullets. People watched with baffled expressions, but we gave no acknowledgement. Both parties were far too involved with a game that held no victor.

The duration of half a minute had past, and I felt a graze upon my opposite arm. My arsenal of fingers was directed at Antonio, who laughed as his blow was returned.

"Hey! No hitting!" The Prussian reached around my back and bid him punishment upon the shoulder blade.

"No hitting, Gilbert!"

They were engaged into their own war as I dealt with the happiness flooding my mouth. Healthy time had passed since my stomach hurt from so much joy.

When the skeptical stares fleeted, the French nobility broke into their war of hands, laughter blossoming brighter than the most exuberant flowers in spring. Gentle slaps hit as bombs and bliss leaked as blood from imaginary wounds. If joy was a color, I think it would be pigmented bright yellow.

As the havoc died, the noises filling the air began to fade as smoke from the battlefield, although everyone had their calming sniggers and widening smiles.

At that moment, Gilbert and I caught each other's eyes.

"Look what you've done."

"Aren't you proud?"

There wasn't a response besides a grin and an axiomatic 'I love you.'

It was truly amazing how much one person can love another, and realizing my rooted affections caused a pang of melancholy to ring through my heart as if it was an old crackling bell. I wanted him to be my husband. It was always an aspiration of mine, and the one I would never accomplish…

If only I could kiss him…But there were far too many observant eyes, all of which took nourishment from gossip. With few words, a life could be ruined…Burned to a crisp over a critical ember…

The mood was jolly as delicious food found a blanket in between my lips. Everyone was conversing and keeping loyally to their own groups as I found myself to be an avid participant in foolish games. My hand was taken as a peaceful hostage, my feet were nipped at by a playful boot, and once, a secretive kiss was placed upon my ear.

As breakfast turned to an inevitable close, the Prussian and I snuck past gorgeous corridors and found a place under the light. Few eyes had witnessed our departure, and if the observers were scarce, the chances of hurtful words would be at a minimum.

We stood before the mansion's gates now, the sharp glare of the sun offering the Prussian strands composed of diamonds. How captivating he was…

"Eli, what would you like to do today?"

"…I don't know…" My eyes were still adhered. "Maybe…just take a walk…"

"Hmm…We could always find a bridge and spit on people…"

"You're not serious, are you?"

"Well…It's not like we haven't done it before…"

The only thing that could evade my mouth was a sigh. "…We were terrible children…You're kidding."

"Of course…I think we'd get into a little more trouble than just a scolding from an old police officer…"

A fond smile composed of nostalgia burned across my lips. "…Well…I'd hope so…"

Our feet took us further into town as considerations evaporated into the heat, each one failing to keep our interests healthy.

"Is there anything that husband of yours won't buy you?"

"…No…"

"Do you want anything?"

"….Well…No….not especially…How about you?"

"I'm not going to let you buy me anything…For god's sake, I might as well just chop 'em off and send them to you. Do you think your husband would figure it out then?"

"Don't be so disgusting!" His chest caught a reprimand.

"Hey, no hitting." He raised a finger to me with a voice that curled around my ear as a lover's tongue. "I'll let you off with a warning this time." My cheek accepted a slow touch. "Only if you promise you won't do it again."

"Yes Mr. Weillschmidt. I promise, I'll be good."

"Good." Mouths held a pleasant conversation.

More walking was done beneath a blazing fire.

"Gilbert, do you like books?"

"Depends…What kind of books?"

"Photography."

"Sure…Why? Do you want to look at some?"

"It doesn't seem like a bad idea…unless you can come up with something better."

"We could still spit on people."

"Is upsetting innocent pedestrians a hobby of yours?"

"Of course!"

"Oh, Gilbert…"

A quick exchange of lips.

"Alright, Eli. I'll find you a library. I'll even steal a book for you…"

Of course, no sane librarian would lend a book to a German speaking bright faced pair. For a moment, my surroundings were lost to distraction. "Well, alright. You can run fast if you get caught, can't you?"

"Of course I can! Who do you think you're talking to?!"

"Don't get angry with me. I was simply making sure." I touched his cheek with compacted lips. "Please."

His mouth gathered at the right side of his face. "I'm not angry…" Gilbert was quite adorable when he was indignant. With his cheeks in bloom, he reminded me of am argumentative child who had just received a scolding.

"…I love you…Even if you're lying to me."

I was given comply from his lips.

In the middle of town was quite possibly the largest library I had ever allowed eyes to bring attention to. I would have guessed it to be built for serious business, but before the building were small French children holding stories within their stares and listening as mothers read with quiet enthusiasm.

"Oh my goodness…"

"It's…huge…" Gilbert's voice was seeping with obvious astonishment. "This is a library…isn't it?"

"Yes…I think so…"

"Well…Let's see for ourselves."

The interior brought even more intrigue. My gaze couldn't absorb all the information stacked upon the shelves. There was no space between volumes, only books upon books upon books. They all fought for space and the hands of children, some spines speaking gorgeous colors and others fascinating titles.

In the corner of the library was a staircase carved into the wall, a woman bleeding wrinkles standing loyally at its side and wearing imitation as her very clothes. Hefty glasses clung in desperation to her face, and when their grasp was compromised, a boney finger put them directly at their post.

"Gilbert…Look at that woman…"

"That gargoyle?"

"With the glasses?"

"Yes. What about her?"

"Do you think she'll let us through those stairs?"

"Who knows? The worst she'll do is stop us. Let's try it."

"Alright."

We drew nearer to her, attention projecting at us through deep polished mirrors. Despite her obvious stare, her mouth didn't contain thorns. Stained lips kept their embrace. Gilbert placed his boot upon the first tier, waiting for protest. Without noise, an index finger indicated upward and earned a single yet grave nod.

Our hands were held within one another's as our feet collected steps as if on duty. There wasn't an abundance of stairs, and I soon found myself facing a small room, its walls brimming with competitive books, each one cramping against the next.

The Prussian moved to the nearest shelf, prying an edition free and examining the cover with ruined brows and a sullied grin. Laughter erupted from his throat and I was left to marvel.

"Well…It looks like we've hit the jackpot…This is the pornography section!" The statement was announced as if the speaking was proud of his findings…as if each photograph was captured with his equipment.

"…Pornography? Let me see that…" Fingers surrendered the book and quickly adopted another as my lips parted. I could feel the blood becoming livid within my cheeks, my heart waging war against my chest. I flipped through without a single coherent thought, my gaze catching an entire military, each soldier a naked woman with fantastic breasts. "…Oh my goodness…"

For the first time in my life, I felt that the camera was a horrid invention. Of course, with the invention of the photograph came the photograph of the nude woman.

"…There's a lot here…Maybe we can find some in German, huh?"

My lips had become numb, and I'm certain my entire face was engulfed within embarrassed flames.

As the Prussian's fingers kissed each collection of gorgeous women dressed only in skin, my feet became cement. Should I have been laughing or walking back down the stairs?

With all the strength in my body, I forced my toes forward, and another book was taken into my custody, this one completely at random. Of course, the text was all in French, and these women had some of the largest breasts in what must have been the entire world. It was astonishing, and for a moment, my attention was afflicted to my own chest, covered in simple white material.

What an uninteresting color…What an uninteresting woman…

Why couldn't this library have pictures of men?

"Gilbert…?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Am I…plain?" The last world shriveled under the light of very possible disappointment.

"God no…You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." I was given his focus as he spoke words as genuine as my love for him. "You're perfect. Why don't you come over here so we can make fun of these whores?"

"Alright…Thank you…"

So, our eyes caught pornography in a lonely little room brimming with even lonelier women seeking comfort within the walls. They sunk in deeply as we laughed at a few misshaped breasts and even fewer unappealing faces.

In the search, I located a book at the far end of the room, written in characters of another dialect. The spine was bound by red thread and each picture was painted by the tip of an Asian brush. Some women had octopi as partners; others had men with odd facial expressions and even more intriguing colors dosed upon their faces. Each wore a heavy silken robe which held flowers blossoming with healthy petals and an occasional sunset expanding across their wears. The entire book was written in vivid hues, and the compulsion to stare was unable to be thwarted.

"Gilbert…I know which book I want…"

"Do you? Bring it here…"

The women fell into his gaze and a tinge of surprise was blended within his expression. "It's quite a find…Where do you suppose it's from?"

"I have no idea…Maybe China or Japan…"

He nodded and caused the pages to embrace one another. "I'll steal pornography for you." The collection of oddities unearthed a pocket between his waist and the band of his trousers. His blouse was utilized as a curtain, covering any evidence of occurring theft.

We left the confines of the world drowning in stories, to a world basking in sunlight. A return was made to the Frenchman's estate with fingers exchanging warmth inconspicuously. Kisses were given with stealth upon the cheeks and mouth, the attentions of others drawn to more interesting subjects and at times to other pairs of lips altogether…

As we stood at the large oaken doors, our hands parted while our orifices came into contact, tongues twisting together and fingers seeking comfort upon opposite curves. We reeled each other in closer, and I held desires for the one thing I could never possess.

What a skilled kisser I had come across…

When our union was broken, we simply stared at one another, smiles writhing in misery forced upon our lips. I wasn't even allowed this much…Rules were shattered simply because I was placed at his side…

"Here…" The silent melancholy was broken by my Prussian, who offered the book of pornographic wonders. I accepted them, strange beauty held between the blades of my fingers, and love for a thief thickly clouding my vision.

"Thank you, Gilbert…"

A kiss was given to my lonesome forehead.

"You're welcome…Let's go inside."

"…Alright…"


	13. Chapter 13

"Eli…I'm going to send you a jewelry box next…How is that? You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Yes…I'd like that very much…"

We were bathing in nostalgia under the glow of the waking sun. The sky had rose stains and soft orange clouds strewn through out it. Dew knelt upon the grass and kept our bare feet cool. The air was crisp, and my heart was bleeding, emotions bunching at the pit of my stomach and causing sickness to possess my veins.

I had inhabited The Frenchman's mansion for two days, and sometime this morning, I would begin my departure for Austria.

"I love you…"

"I love you too, Elizaveta…I wish I could have seen you longer…" The Prussian took a moment to allow his teeth to nuzzle against his lower lip. It was obvious words were having a problem taking life, and thoughts were becoming stifled with the same illness that wreaked havoc within the confines of my heart. "…I'm a mess when you're not around…It's like living with a missing leg…"

Contemplations were wounded with a violent surge of melancholy. I was certain that tears would once again kiss my cheeks gently as they were born and ugly sobs would find life within the morning air.

"…I wish I could have married you…It's ridiculous how these things turn out…"

And now I was without something that had been a cardinal part of me for so many years…It was impossible to count how many summers had passed since I had met Gilbert…But numbering them would be a waste…Nothing would change.

"I would have given that bastard the war if I could have kept you…But it looks like he's won anyway…I hate that god damn Austrian…He doesn't deserve you…"

No comments took residence between my teeth. The only thing I held was a wiry ball of emotions so deep their color was pigmented black.

"If he ever hurts you, tell me…I'll beat his face in…"

"He won't…He's very kind to me…"

Moments of silence aged through an eternity, and there was so much I wanted to express, but in the war for statements, there was no victor. Again, all that remained in inside my throat was the corpses of dismembered words, characters falling into my roaring innards and evaporating as droplets of water.

"…I'm going to find a way to see you…Besides just a chance…"

The first time he had given those words brought no success.

"I know you will…"

Within a short period, he stole me into his arms as he did when we were children. It was the sort of embrace without lust or desire. The only thing present was love purer than water shimmering within a spring. My tolerance to persistent tears was beginning to fray, and lips began to cramp against each other, trying to keep ugly emotions as hostage within my mouth.

This was our relationship. Hoping for fortunate meetings and sending loving letters in secrecy. Waiting for gifts without addresses and hidden words, causing forbidden tears each time one arrived.

But stopping would be even more painful. Gilbert would truly become lost in time's ever expanding forest, and with him would take a healthy section of my pounding heart. I had never felt such passion for anyone…He knew me more than another other and every secret I had pressed against my chest were possessions to him.

"Damn it…" Of course, salty tears broke free from the prison that had tried so effortlessly to keep them contained. Palms shielded my eyes, and I allowed myself to become a droplet at the bottom of the well.

"Please don't cry…" A soft voice became warm within my ear. "Please…" Lips touched to what available skin there was while kind fingers committed arson at my neck. "One day we can be together again…We've known each other too long for our relationship to end…There will be a lot of waiting…But I don't care. I'll be patient. Time can stop and I'll still wait."

"Will you just shut up?" My arms captured his torso. "You're not helping…You could at least tell me that my crying is irritating and I should stop…or something you would say when you're upset…" My chin sank gently into his shoulder, and emotion came out in horrid sobs. "You're too damn loyal…"

"I know…" A kiss caught the top of my ear, which was saturated in deep crimson along with the apples of my cheeks. "I love you…"

"I love you too…"

"Eli…Why don't you let me abduct you? Everyone already thinks I'm an awful person and wouldn't put it past me. We really do have the perfect setting. The evil Gilbert Weillschmidt finds the gorgeous wife of his worst enemy, that goddamn Edelstein, and causes additional trouble for everyone's least favorite Austrian… How about it? It's like a story book, right?"

My stomach was stricken with humor. "No…I'm sorry. I doubt that we could get away with something like that for long. But I appreciate the thought."

I felt him smile and moments later our lips found one another, tongues playing together as two friends delighted to reunite once again. For a moment, my mind drifted to Roderich's side…I wasn't certain if I would ever receive passion of this magnitude from his mouth…

As the kiss shattered between us, we fell into the opposite's grasp, and my face found a comfortable crevice against his chest.

"I love you…"

"I love you too…"

After breakfast had filled my stomach, my things were gathered before the mansion and were loaded upon our carriage. Monique was at my side, skinning her lips in paranoia, while her eyes looked bruised from a morning stolen by tears of despair. She wanted to launch a question, but there wasn't enough gun power in her throat to fire an inquiry. So, she stood, an abused doll with two soft fuchsia mounds preparing to bleed.

My feet were first upon the carriage, taking a kind hand from a servant and assuming my axiomatic position. Monique was set across from my glance, and as she arrived, I moved my attention away. If she would speak, I would comply, but looking at her with those dead earthy eyes threw me into a raging sea of discomfort. To make eye contact would cause a heart attack I wouldn't overcome.

As the carriage covered the sundry ground of the country side, I allowed my thoughts to linger at Gilbert's door, wishing I could have more time with our fingers interlocked. Thinking that I might never see those glistening burgundy eyes again made all the healed lesions tear, and I was left to stare at bloodied fingers. How wondrous it would be to have a functional mouth to divert my attention.

"Monique…What's wrong? For Christ's sake, you haven't said a word since we sat down…"

Again, her lips retreated into her mouth and her eyes brimmed with even more pain. Attention was drawn to her feet and her bloodied lip dropped. "Madame…Are you going to tell anyone what you saw?" Words scrambled from her throat as staving birds to stray bread.

"No. I wasn't planning to…"

"…Are you upset with me?"

"Why should I be?" My brows seemed to move from my eyelids, and I allowed a tinge of disappointment to writhe within my stomach. "You're not my responsibility…However, if you were my daughter, I'd probably slap you…"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Edelstein…"

"Apologizing to me isn't going to do any good…Just what in the hell were you thinking?"

"…I'm tired of my husband…" She began. I didn't make comment, so a reinforcement of statements came. "We haven't even touched one another in nearly five months…In fact, he barely acknowledges me…"

"…Why?" I asked, baffled that a gorgeous woman such as Monique could keep her husband's hands at his sides.

"…Because…he's too busy with his mistress…There was a lot I neglected to mention when I first told you about my problems…" Without comply from my side, she continued. "…You said that I wasn't trying hard enough…Well, for a long time I did try…in fact, I'm still trying, but all of my efforts are swept under the mat…Perhaps I don't massage his back and feet and god knows what else, but I do kind things that go completely ignored…" Mourning spread from her lashes, but syllables continued as water from a malfunctioning pipe. "…It's been so long since a man had called me lovely, or even spoke to me without being angry…Francis was so kind…I just…" Sleeves were utilized as handkerchiefs. "I'm sure you know how it feels to be trapped in your home every day…I barely get to walk outside…It's certain I was only allowed to go because he could have an entire week of open adultery without another argument…"

"Oh…Monique…"

"Madame Edelstein, do you really believe I'm a terrible woman? There's no excuse for what I've done…but I don't believe I deserve this kind of life…Everyone's done awful things…but I deserve better, don't I?" Her sobs shattered the miniscule amount of peace that lingered, and guilt replaced the disappointment licking at my inner walls. I was in no place to judge…If my feet were kept cozy within her heels, who's to say I wouldn't commit the same sins?

"Monique…I'm sorry…I didn't know…" I transferred to her side and offered an embrace to her shaking figure. "…I won't tell anyone…You don't have to worry anymore…"

She took my torso greedily, and air was extracted from my lungs. "Thank you…I'm so sorry, Elizaveta…"

"It's alright…You have every right to be upset…"

The realization was dropped upon me. Fortune had adopted me as its lady. My husband had strong adoration for me, I inhabited a lavish house and was given much of what I desired, and there was little chance that Roderich would take a mistress. A seed of guilt took roots within my heart. My lips had nearly been adhered to Gilbert's and every time they were my own, a passionate 'I love you' was given vivid life. The situation could have been Monique's, who still experienced horrid remorse for betraying a man who regarded her as filth remaining upon a dirt floor.

"…Thank you…You really won't tell anyone?"

"I'll pretend I never saw a thing…"

After hours of normal chatter resumed, the wheels of the carriage came to a sudden halt at the feet of Roderich's mansion.

"Oh…Look at that…I'm back…" My tongue was dusted with dismay. I desired to reclaim the time lost within Monique's throat. The chances of meeting the French translator again were exceptionally low. "…I suppose I should get out now…"

"…It was nice getting to know you, Madame…Perhaps if you decide to visit France again, something can be arranged."

"I'll be sure to hire you…Thank you for everything. That husband of mine will send you a generous tip…"

"Thank you."

We embraced a moment with fingers lingering at each other's shoulders. I would truly miss having such a spectacular friend as Monique. It's a challenge to find such pleasant people…

I gathered my small bag of things and with a single fleeting glance to that wondrously resilient fairy, my feet landed upon the earth they were so familiar with. As much as I enjoyed France, it was nice to return…When you're somewhere different for such duration of time, home seems like sanctuary...

As the last of my things filed through the front doors, my only female friend was being stolen away in the same carriage that had held me for so many long days…My arm extended as proudly as the Austrian flag waving before my estate, and she did the same, a smile settled upon her face as a few tears rested against her lashes.

"Au revoir!" My cry was loud, but there was no doubt my good bye went unheard.

And as she left me, another presence appeared.

"Hello, Elizaveta…" Warmth overcame my spine and arms captured my shoulders.

"Oh! Hello Roderich!"

Even if my love for Gilbert was given all its old life, joy still occupied a hefty hole in my heart. After hearing such a story as Monique's, being in the grasp of such a kind and handsome man was as tasting god's nectar…I laughed as a kiss lied sweetly upon my cheek.

"Oh goodness…It wasn't the same without you…Did you have fun?"

"Yes…I missed you…"

"I missed you to…The house was so empty...Come inside and tell me all about it, won't you?"

"Of course…But I'll give you something first. Let me go so I can get it out…"

"You didn't have to bring me anything…" His grip grew weak and hands grazed his sides while I faced him and my fingers probed quickly into my small collection of things.

Of course, that book of odd pornography was intended for him. Yes, it was quite the strange souvenir, and perhaps even stranger because it was from a wife to a husband, but if anything, it was comical.

The book was pulled from its home and given new inhabitance cushioned between his finger blades. For a moment, a look of uncertainty washed blandly over his features and then blush marred his cheeks as soon as he spread the covers.

"Goodness…Elizaveta, where in hell did you get this?"

"I stole it from a French library just for you. You like it, don't you?"

"…What language is this?" My inquiry was lost in a haze of curiosity. "Is that…an octopus? Oh my…"

"I know it's odd, but I thought it would make an interesting souvenir…You don't have anything like it…An item from a different country within a different country…Please tell me it's alright…"

"Well…it's certainly…strange…I'll put this in a cozy place where no one will ever find it…And every time I look at it, I'll be reminded of the odd little house wife who gives her husband insane oriental pornography…Thank you."

I sighed and assaulted his chest playfully. "Damn it, Roderich. You just had to ruin it, didn't you?"

"You know it's what I'm best at…Will you come inside now? It's very hot out and I'm incredibly pale…"

"Well…alright…"

"Thank you, Love. It's nice to have you back."

"Uh-huh. Especially because you adore your gift…which I stole…just for you…"

Instead of a response, an arm took my shoulders and a stray pair of lips reprimanded my cheek. "I love you, Elizaveta. Thank you for being a delinquent…you know…stealing…just for me…"

I couldn't remove the smile from my lips.


	14. Chapter 14

And just as time dictates, life progressed and present molded the past. More letters arrived hidden within gifts, including the promised jewelry box, an empty journal disregarding one page, which was flooded with promises and admirations from a Prussian whose voice was mute, and finally, an old guitar with the message sitting within its cavity. Ironically, Roderich enjoyed strumming the chords when his time was free.

And in what seemed to be a series of short weeks, I found myself standing only paces from our anniversary. But my hands were barren. Time was slipping from my fragile grasp, and I could not allow disappointment.

As I had predicted, my heart had grown immensely for him. Now the inside of my chest was becoming a disorganized garden, one side grossly inhabited by crimson roses, the other by newborn violets. My affection was still strong for Gilbert, but some part of that love was being washed away by the gentle touches and sweet glances Roderich offered me daily.

What a predicament…

Despite my severed emotions, there was much determination to make my husband happy, and unfortunately, it was difficult to locate something he hadn't already claimed. The pressure built, and May 29th was pounding upon the door.

"…Darling…What do you want for our anniversary?"

Our bodies were in a lovely knot, and Roderich was close to sleep, but my attention was fully charged and nearly sickening me. Perhaps the task would be accomplished with ease if I simply made an inquiry.

"…I'm not sure…"

"You have to help me. I really don't know what to get you…"

"Well…Just do something simple…I don't really want anything in particular…"

"…That doesn't assist me in the least…Have you already picked mine?"

"Yours is accounted for, Love…"

"Oh? What is it?" Curiosity peaked and left my mouth without consideration.

"Do you think I'm going to tell you?" A kiss sank gently into my forehead. "Because you'll simply have to wait…"

"But Roderich…What if it's absolutely fantastic? How will I know what to get you if I have no clue how much you spent?"

A smile illuminated the room and gave his lips an occupation. "Well, that's what will make it interesting, won't it? Get me whatever you like…"

"…You really are no help…You know that don't you? You don't want _anything_? There has to be something you don't own…"

"No…as I said, nothing in particular…I'm really quite the simpleton…"

"No you aren't…Stop lying."

"It's true…" Fingers combed sweetly through my tresses. "I'm happy just as long as I have music and cake…and your love, of course…and organization…socks…"

"Goodness, what's wrong with you? Take off your socks…" I brushed a foot obnoxiously against his, receiving protest from rough and worn fabric.

"No thank you…I like my socks very much." There was a brief touch of the lips. "I'm going to sleep, dear."

"Alright…Let me know if you think of anything you want…"

"I will…"

"I love you…"

"I love you too, Elizaveta…"

The next morning, the bed was made up on Roderich's side and upon the sheets, a leather satchel resided. A pin was stabbed savagely through its stomach as if it had been slain, and a note was kissing its wound. The parchment was plain, but my husband's penmanship left lovely rounded stains.

'Good morning, dear. I have quite a bit of work to do so I won't be able to see you this morning, but I will at either lunch or dinner. Take this opportunity to do a little shopping.

Love, Roderich.'

"You really are a simpleton, aren't you? Leaving notes and wearing your socks obsessively…What's wrong with that man?" I took the bag into my hands, the top swelling due to the currency cramping together as innards. There would be little issue reducing the inflammation. Of course, it was intended for the anniversary, how ever muted it was, but that didn't mean all had to be sacrificed to one cause.

There wouldn't be breakfast that morning, instead a lovely pastry would be purchased and kept safely within the confines of my middle. I would be cautious with how much this wallet weighed. Roderich would be livid if it was bled dry, even if the entire sum was surrendered to my desire. The determination to be a dutiful wife was still a possession of mine, and one I didn't intend to trade.

After a small bag of sweets and a few bites of fresh apple strudel, business was put into my priorities, and the first place to draw my attention was a small book store. I tried to keep my goal clear, not allowing greed to scratch my vision. Immediately, I placed my feet securely within the photography section, fingers kissing titles with careful speculation.

My find was intriguing. It was labeled, 'The Orient' and contained a plethora of villages, some lovely with Chinese architecture and others what appeared to be small ghettos with smiling old women who were at a loss of teeth. Accounts were spoken in careful print, including country and the name of the village, some pages retaining paragraphs of information and others just simple statements in photographs.

In all the wasted hours in Roderich's library, I had yet to witness this collection of leisure. This would make a fine addition to his healthy collection.

As I made my way to the counter, my eyes were drawn to a camera sitting still against a legion of books. Its appearance was new and without any obvious fault.

"Excuse me, is this camera for sale?" My voice was offered to the woman sitting at the counter, whose gaze was held behind a wall constructed of words. Her bottom lip seemed to become numb and lazy. This woman might as well have been inside the story she was so addicted to.

"…What?" Heavily rimmed eyes took me with little interest. "…What did you say?"

"Is this camera for sale?"

"Oh yes…it is."

"Does it work?"

She nodded with her lips pursed securely together. Teeth drew in her bottom mound closer. "Yes. It's actually quite new…I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I thought I'd sell it…"

"…Did someone give it to you?"

Another affirmative movement. "For some reason, my father thought I'd make a good photographer…even though I remind him quite frequently that I run a book store…Well, I'm glad someone can put it to use…" Parchment rustled under her long finger tip, more of the tale unraveling under her obsessive observation. "I'll reduce the price if you get it out of my hands…It's quite the eyesore…"

"Well…I suppose we're both going to be satisfied…"

The building was left without a camera, and I exited with my hands well occupied. My walk home was difficult, to assign the least amount of complaints. I had not taken a carriage, my desires being to come closer to home, but with such a heavy device, my plight wasn't made simple. It wasn't long before the camera became a boulder and my poor legs became frail.

When I returned, the clock sang noon, and lovely wails drifted throughout the air. Roderich was caressing the keys of his piano, and I found my heart in ruins at my ankles. His music possessed my ears every time I heard it…

Oh goodness, what a distraction…

Before I could be discovered with such belongings, I found a hiding place amongst the unwanted things. The store room was used for nothing but keeping forgotten tangibles and memories that were stowed away beneath them. It was the only chamber in Roderich's entire estate that wasn't spotless. The walls and floors were littered with clutter, and for a purpose such as mine, it would provide a wonderful hiding place.

My time was fair. Roderich's practice time was usually occupied an hour, and his piano was first to be tested.

The chamber was just as it always was. Dust collected as dandruff upon neglected thing's scalps and everything was at war for space, including my beaten arches held prisoner within cruel boots.

The first task at hand was to find something to contain the camera, at least. The book could be confined under wrappings, if the need to cover such a thing was necessary. This photography collection certainly wasn't the star sitting atop the tree.

My giddy fingers sifted through several items, my palms becoming sieves searching in desperation for a lone gem. Of course, in a room strewn with forgetfulness and garbage, how can one expect such treasures? I didn't want to exit needing another component. Time was the contender with the upper hand. No matter how much strength there was in my limbs, there wasn't victory against the one thing that had sat through every war and saw so many lives come and fall…

Even though the hour was proving barren, there were few interesting things unearthed. The first to come within my contact was tattered boy's clothes, and false memories were granted vivid life from an imagination misty with a fairy tale. A child with large azure eyes drifted to me, his near raven hair kept sharp despite his age and a book tucked against his breast.

For a moment, I wished I had met him when he was small.

The second was a painting in a small collection of accounts captured with a skilled brush. This edition had my husband standing next to a lovely black haired woman, a hand exhausted upon her shoulder. Forged smiles drew their lips. Neither of them looked to be in good sprits. Roderich appeared as a younger man in this reality, his handsome face still retaining its features, despite his obvious discontent.

I moved to the next universe marred with sophisticated strokes, finding an even younger man standing at his lonesome before a window. His adolescence had just been broken and his hair was only a bit shorter than the variation I had become familiar with.

The proceeding collection of Roderichs simply became younger and younger; years becoming lost and grins becoming more genuine as his body shrank.

The final painting caught the image of a smiling boy in simple clothes, the emotion caught within his face genuine as love's diamonds. This boy didn't have glasses sitting at the tip of his nose, or even a tinge of seriousness. He was created with crackling color and had never seen sorrow…The role of a witness to cruelty wasn't fulfilled and he had yet to be dragged through the hells of arranged marriage. His heart was waiting to be shattered and eyes became mirrors that filled with reflections of purity.

This painting had collected enough age to cripple the strongest fortress, and enough beauty to convey what a pleasant child he was. I wished to hold that endearing boy lost in a world of ancient color. He had been altered so drastically…

After studying so many different realities, I simply sat, wondering exactly all the different things my husband had to endure. He never spoke of the past...

Moments of silent contemplation were born and lost their life, and my fingers were directed to their procrastinated work, seeking desperately for red thread in an immense container of strings.

My stomach jerked when the notes so easily heard in the air writhed upon the floor. Worry bought my stomach and curled into it as if my organ had become a hammock, and gently, it swayed, knocking at rose walls and causing an ache to sit within my throat.

"No, you stupid man...Keep your playing…I need more time. If you find your gift, I'm going to scream at you." Of course, all threats fell to fictional ears.

I afflicted my glance to all corners of the room before spotting an occupied box sitting at one of the barriers. Its innards were brimming with lost tangibles of little stature, each coded greedily in dust. An old cobweb hovered at one of its points, the spider that once claimed such a space of home having died or grew sense and fled.

My knees joined the box on the floor, skin cooling with diminished fight and hands emptying cardinal pieces as if trying to remove organs from a bird. Everything was trash, and all parts falling from my prize took places neighboring my knee caps. There was all sorts of things, some crumpled sheet music and others worn leather bags with no weight pact at their centers. Regardless, the base of the cubical was seen and brought to the camera's company, the legs first to be submerged. It was a perfect fit with a small amount of room to spare.

I slid the box back in its place, knowing he wouldn't come here searching for lost things anytime soon…This place hadn't been touched in what could very well be several years.

As I closed the door, a cough of dust came from beneath the porthole, dirty wind licking at my feet and leaving disgust to twist my lips. This chamber was infected with uncleanness…That man wouldn't find a thing.


	15. Chapter 15

That morning was set precisely and bathed in the sun's beauty. Plans ran through my mind ruthlessly, as if they had turned into fish trying so desperately to evade the fisherman's net. While my husband lied unconscious under an avalanche of pearly silk, my body was stuffed stubbornly into the most luscious gown I had in my possession. The tresses flowing unruly from my scalp were put into their places and became a garden once again, roses held carefully by tight twists and wrathful curls. I had them draw color upon my face, my lips darkening to crimson and my lashes gaining body.

And once I was rendered a porcelain figurine, the gifts were rescued from the world of dust, the camera held so carefully within the box wrapped in colorful hues and the book simply carried along at its side, skin barren. With my things in hand, I came to the aid of a sleeping god, my knees pressing into frozen marble and my lips finding rest upon his cheek.

"Darling…" He was unresponsive. "Darling, happy anniversary…"

"Hmm?" Beaten sapphires appeared after pale curtains were drawn. "Oh, goodness, Elizaveta, how long have you been awake?"

"A while now…"

His gaze was adhered to the ceiling, clinging as a boy in trouble with his mother. Brows weaved and a sigh breached the air. "A while? Oh my…what am I to do? I had the same plan, but it looks like you beat me to it. I assumed you'd be asleep…Yesterday was so exhausting. I'm sorry, love."

"Don't be sorry. You're allowed to rest."

"But how am I supposed to charm you if I'm not even dressed? And look at you! You're so beautiful…"

"You don't have to charm me…I already love you." My fingers became lost within a gorgeous thicket caressing milky skin. What a handsome man. "Just put something on; brush you hair…You know…I have you presents here…I think you'll like them."

"Sit with me a moment." Roderich leaned his nude back upon the headboard and left space for my bottom, a little smile taking shape upon his mouth. Slowly, as to keep from ruining my lavish frills, I allowed my body to mold near his, skirts stretching across my legs and lapping softly at two limb shaped bumps buried beneath silk.

In that moment, I remembered what had occurred this very day an entire year ago…An acute jab of melancholy caused pain underneath my breast. How was that Prussian of mine?

"I love you, Elizaveta." His voice basked in adoration and used statements softly; shattering what thoughts I had of Gilbert. A hand threw my cheek into fire fueled by passion while lips caressed my face with careful touches.

"I love you too…Happy anniversary."

"Mmm…" A thumb settled in the crook of my neck and a kiss found comfort upon my lower lip.

"Oh goodness, the odd noises have begun…Now I'm not certain what to expect. Don't do anything too strange, please. You're already nude."

The last few droplets of his affection sat upon the apples of my cheeks and I was left at his side.

"Don't worry darling. We'll do plenty of lewd things later tonight but at the moment, I have quite a bit planned, even though I'm without clothes and blind…" He allowed his expression to shift. "So, if you'll allow me to get dressed and put on my glasses, we can open gifts."

"Just put on your glasses. Your backside is lovely, and I don't get to see it often. Why don't we tell all of your servants to go outside and we can just spend the day naked?"

"Oh, this woman of mine…No dear, I'm afraid I've got a different idea, and unfortunately it's already been paid for. I really hope you don't mind."

"No, you silly man, I was only kidding." I lent lips to his mouth shortly. "Please, go on with your plans. I know you'll tear your hair out if you don't follow them, and heaven forbid you become bald. I think I'd cry."

My husband simply admired me, all the love captivating his body easily seen through azure tinted windows. He truly adored me. How fortunate I was.

"I love you, Roderich."

"May I ruin your lipstick?"

My mouth made reply by joining his.

Once Roderich's body was clothed, my gift was plucked from its hiding place and dropped within my lap. A small box dyed rose and a lavish white bow holding its middle became a ship upon a flowing sea of crimson, and my fingers were hardly contained.

My primary assumption was that within the confines of this lovely little container was a set of earrings or perhaps another decoration to sit along one of my spoiled digits. Its weight was nearly insignificant, and with such a minute size, what sort of thing could one store besides crafted gold?

"Roderich, will you open your things first? I'm really too excited to wait."

"Certainly. I see your first gift to me is a book…I'm enjoying the invisible wrapping paper…" A filthy grin took existence upon his lips, nearly making me seethe. "Was it difficult to use? I'm sure you had a hard time with the…very, very clear tape."

"Oh shut your mouth. That's not even the best part."

"Of course, of course…" A kiss seeking refuge against my cheek.

"Don't you even touch me! I should beat you!" My anger was faux, my amusement having a hard time finding concealment. "Really, just open the other one, for God's sake."

"Yes, dear. Of course." The shell was torn from the body and became a corpse upon the floor, leaving a mischievous man to study me. His possession was still unopened, despite its flesh freezing upon the merciless tiles. "Oh my! You've given me a heavy box! It's just what I wanted."

"Oh stop! You better sleep with one eye open! Maybe even hire a body guard; you're making me so furious! _Open_ the box!"

He was stricken with audible joy that brought fire to my face. "I'm sorry. You know I'm simply playing games."

"Well, stop!" A gentle reprimand to his collar. "Open it!"

"Do what?"

"Open it!"

"Alright. I'm simply checking…So…You want me to…open it, don't you?"

"No, Roderich. You should actually throw it in the trash." There was a glare livid within my gaze. "Yes! Hurry up!"

"…I…open it?" He was trying not to laugh, his teeth holding to the rims of those lovely lips. "Right?"

"Give it to me. I'll do it for you."

"No, no. I think I can handle this." Finally, the lid was separated from its body and my husband was led inside, his eyes adopting confusion and holding it closely. "What is it?" This inquiry was genuine. The camera was removed from its fortress and was studied upon Roderich's lap. "Oh my goodness…Elizaveta, wherever did you find this?"

"I actually bought it at a book shop, if you can believe it. I thought you'd like to take your own pictures instead of looking at everyone else's…" My lips pressed affectionately to his cheek. "You like it, don't you?"

"I'm unsure of what to say…I was expecting something completely different…but I do like it. I'll have to learn to use it so I can irritate you when I have free time."

"Irritate me?"

"Even with all the pictures I have of you, it just seems like I don't have enough, don't you think?"

"No…There's so many photographs of us…How can you possible need anymore?"

My question was planted kindly into the dirt, the farmer wearing a small grin and giving a kiss to one of his prized flowers. "Open your gift, Elizaveta."

"…Oh, do what now?" Roderich would pay for his little games.

"Open it."

"So…How would one go about doing that?"

"To begin, pull on this ribbon…"

"This ribbon?" Purposely, my fingers landed upon the center of the bow, its perfection still well intact.

"No, this one." Blades were moved to another section of the pearly knot.

"So…I push on it?"

"No, pull."

"Pull?"

"Yes, pull."

"So…I pull?"

"Yes, dear. That's the idea."

I studied him as if a spare head took shape upon his shoulder and an extra set of arms sprouted from his rib cage.

"So…Pulling…pulling…"

"Would you like me to help you?"

"No, I think I can do it."

"Alright, well, if you need me, I'm right here."

I grinned as the tie gave way and the ribbon slipped from the box as a drunken woman from her bed. "Oh Roderich! It's lovely! I've always wanted a tiny box! How did you ever know?"

"No, it's not the box, dear."

"No!" Faux shock rang into the air as obnoxiously as any one thing could be born. "A pink box is simply the best gift I can fathom."

"Well, if you _open_ the box, you'll see what I mean."

"So I open it? How-"

"Remove the lid, Elizaveta."

"…Lid?"

"Shall we do it together?"

"Hmm…No. I think I can figure it out. So the lid is this part here?"

"No. This part."

"This part?"

"No. This one."

"This one?"

"Yes! _That_ one! There are only two options! Now remove the lid!"

"Remove the lid…Now, when you say 'remove the lid' you mean…"

"Damn it, woman. It's only cute when I do it." His voice was full of repressed play and his lips were trying in disorganization to create a frown. "Take it off!"

"You want to me to take off my clothes now? Goodness, I haven't even opened my gift yet."

He simply exhaled, his nostrils growing from so much force put upon them. His gaze moved from me, and he had preformed the perfect role as the frustrated husband. I could only laugh and lay affection upon his cheek, left so welcomingly for my mouth. "I'm only kidding. I'll open it."

The box was split into two separate parts, and I found myself staring at a small key constructed of fine gold cushioned under a pristine white pillow.

"…A key?"

"Yes. Happy anniversary."

"…What?" 

For a moment, I thought my filthiest secret was given air and hung to dry right before my window. Every untruth that poured from my mouth lied square in my hands, searing lesions into my flesh and leaving my heart to once again panic frantically within my chest.

…But…He looked too blissful to be inside that world…inside that hell my mind had birthed…

No, no…He would be beyond enraged if that was indeed the case. I wouldn't be sitting here playing ridiculous games and wearing falsified amusement to mask my sudden agitation. If this man was ever upset by something, he would bring attention to it formally and matter-of-factly. Roderich wasn't the type to give indication to anger through a gift, and much less a gift set on our anniversary.

"Well, why don't let me take you to the lock it goes to?"

"A lock? To what? A box, a door…?"

"You'll see. Put on your shoes."

"My shoes? Where are we going?"

"Out."

"Out? Oh please, Roderich. Can you possibly be any vaguer? You're far too specific for me." The rough skin of my feet pressed to the floor, and led me to my wardrobe where they were offered a pair of simple leather boots with sheen bright enough to blind the sun. "I was expecting something like jewelry or maybe even and ring…but a key?" I was lured back to his side once again, the light capturing my eyes being the curiosity to continue, to place the key within the lock and ease my mind of its furious calculations. There were so many thoughts screaming vivid words, there was certain to be an ache residing between my temples by the end of this day. "…A key. What sort of man comes up with a key? Really darling, you're too clever."

"I didn't think the idea was half bad. You're still guessing, aren't you?"

"Of course I am! How far away are we going?"

"Hmm…It's hard to say exactly…I'm not really sure." His voice was infested with play and I knew him well enough to realize when information was under a steel lock and golden key.

"Well, fine. Don't tell me."

"Oh, I won't. Are you ready?"

"Yes. Unless you want me to take something along..."

"No, you're just fine the way you are. Come along dear."

The heels of my boots lifted from the docile gravel as I was helped into the carriage. As the frills flowing from my hips were put into strict order, my husband stole the vacancy of my side, giving his arms to me quite shamelessly and placing imprints of love upon my blossoming skin. The crimson staining my dress must have made my face seem fertile as a flourishing garden. How very rouge I was today.

"Thank you, Darling. I love you…" The words slipped from my mouth, no longer lies but ecstatic truths. "I'm so excited, even if this curiosity is crushing me."

"I'm sorry love, but you'll have to take patience from somewhere…" My face was caressed with few loving kisses. "Goodness you're lovely. You just keep getting more beautiful everyday I see you…How fortunate I am."

"Thank you…" I could even feel the blood wreaking havoc about my face. Could this man bring on a fever?

It was hard to even fathom myself being so miserable only a year ago…But how can one anticipate such bliss behind a veil? We had both become lucky. There were so many couples who spent their nights in different rooms opposed to sharing the very same body…

And my affection for Gilbert wasn't even so taxing…

Of course, I still missed him dearly...

"Darling, what are you thinking about?"

"Oh? Nothing, Roderich. I was simply day-dreaming. That's all."

"Ah. I see."

Before he could lean in and plant another kiss within my blushing garden, I held his face and shoved my lips against his nose, earning myself a bit of amusement.

"You're so sweet, Elizaveta."

"Hmm…" Now our mouths were conversing. "I'm glad you think so…"

I attempted to add only a tinge of intimacy but my plans were put into exile as my husband pulled slowly away.

"Why did you stop?"

"Don't you think we should wait until a little later his evening? I love kissing you, but I don't want to arrive tonight and _just_ sleep. That's when it's going to count, darling."

"Naughty, naughty." My head shook, strands bobbling around my neck and roses ready to fall. "Goodness, Roderich. You're excited aren't you? But what for? You're happy for our anniversary too, aren't you?"

"Of course I am! Would you rather we just kiss the entire time? That's all today will be?" His lips pulled at the edges. "Don't worry, Elizaveta. I simply have plans. You'll be happier with a schedule. Trust me."

"Roderich!" The voice came from my throat entwined with complaint. "You and your schedules! Trust you? How can I? I have no idea what this schedule entails. Goodness, I don't even know where we're going!"

"But I do. Which is just another reason why you should trust me, you silly woman!"

"Don't call me silly you…" I wouldn't dare use an insult. Not when he had sacrificed so very much for me. "…man."

"Are you trying to start an argument? Because you're doing an awful job. You really just look pretty with your face so red…"

"Oh shush. Don't make me ignore you the entire trip to wherever we're going, because I will. I'll simply look at the window and pretend you're not here. You can just admire the back of my neck." My attentions were turned to the road moving beneath us, wheels stirring grains and a ridiculous grin beginning life.

"Oh, darling! I'm sorry. Your face is so much lovelier. Please turn back around; I'll behave, I swear!" As false desperation poured into the air and fed my amusement, my hand was taken as his gentle captive and careful fingers kneaded small circles into my flesh. "I love you."

"You swear?"

"Yes. By every hair on my head. Well, besides this strand…It's far too unpredictable to be sworn into anything. But by every other one, I swear."

"Well, alright." My interest was turned and my fingers wrapped around that odd collection of curling hairs. "I forgive you, but only because you're handsome."

"Well, whatever the reason, it's fine. Just as long as I'm forgiven."

The sights inhabiting this trip were nothing but superb. Being caged as a bird behind shimmering bars, I had lost my memories of the country side, and seeing it so freshly made my heart melt and fall through my fingers as crystalline water through a sieve.

Our carriage routinely passed pebbles until our sights were afflicted to a pleasant town kept pure under a veil of ignorance. The location was remote, and if anything, it was a small constitution, obviously untouched by a certain amount of civilization.

"Is this it, Roderich? Do we have to travel any longer?"

"No. This isn't it…We are closer, however, but we still have a distance to go. I thought a break would be nice."

"Oh, yes…A break at this point would be lovely. I'm so sore from sitting…"

"And I'm hungry…A slice of cake would be wonderful…"

"Cake and sex. The best things this world has to offer."

"I couldn't agree more. Let's stretch our legs."

Our feet took into an aimless direction away from our carriage and even closer towards this odd little town. This placed was kissed in so many odd ways. The rich walked alongside the poor with their diamond rings and dirty aprons, plump house wives with sullen rollers in hand gave their slender husbands hell, shaking their flour drenched equipment at them as if they were ready to collect blood. Some buildings were painted in right hues such as rose and lavender, and other constructed with bricks and boredom in mind, all of them placed in blocks next to each other. Chimney smoke billowed from rooftops and everyone seemed to be going about their day as if this was the most ordinary location ever brought into creation.

"Oh my…What a strange place…"

"Well, strange or not, it certainly is interesting…I suppose you'd like to get something to eat before going on an extensive tour of this town…because I can see you'd certainly like to take a tour…"

"That's correct Mr. Edelstein. As curious as I am, eye candy won't cure my stomach pains."

"Well, let's get something to eat then."

With our hands within one another's we walked until a café of types was found. Regardless of how hungry I was this painting was enough to keep my attention away from the emptiness gnawing at the walls of my middle. Fascination fed me, even if it wasn't nearly as satisfying as tea and strudel.

Our seats were taken by a small and almost insignificant white palisade, flowers of all varieties lapping at its feet and green stretching to the sols of our shoes.

"Oh goodness...I want to stretch my legs and as soon as I do, I want to sit again."

Roderich nodded, his back reclining against the sunny chair he had selected. "Yes, and for some reason, I feel so tired…I think it might have been traveling so long…It's nice to be outside…"

"You've been working so hard. Thank you for getting time off today, love. It really does mean a lot to me…and you've taken me so far. You're very sweet."

"These things are standard. What sort of man would I be if I worked through today? I adore you too much to neglect you on such an occasion."

"Damn it, I love you. Whenever we get to wherever, I'm going to tear your clothes off and smother you in kisses. And that's a promise."

"Oh my…That's quite the promise. I'm looking forward to it." A handsome grin curled beneath his nose, and a woman came to take our orders.

Cake sank within our stomachs and drowned in rich tea while chatter exposed itself from our lips. Excitement was rushing within my veins with the concentration of blood. I almost desired to return to that horrid carriage if only to progress forward.

"Roderich, will you give me at least a clue?"

"No, love. I won't."

"Oh, come now…I know we're going a long ways from home…You could at least tell me the city name…"

"No!"

"But Roderich…I'm so anxious, I can hardly take it, please."

"…Fine, but I refuse to tell you anymore."

"Agreed."

"We're going to Vienna, and that's all you'll get from me."

"To Vienna? Would this be a key to a hotel room, perhaps?"

"Perhaps." His voice was playful and not about to allow me a straight answer. "Or perhaps not."

"Oh? Have I figured it out?" It would make absolute sense for this tiny golden key to be a key to a hotel room. What else could it possibly be? If it held answers to a chest, our feet would be planted within our home, and such a game would be preformed on a much smaller scale. No man would drag his wife hours from comfort to simply open something insignificant as a container.

"I really don't know dear."

"Oh! I know that's what it is! You're taking me to the same place we stayed at on our honey moon! That's such a sweet idea!"

His face became skeptical, lips contorting under some sort of contemplation and eyebrows bending against curious windows. "Goodness, I didn't think it was that obvious…Did someone tell you? I shouldn't have given you any clues…Now my entire plan has been ruined…" And what had once been shock grew into crippling disappointment, his features crumpling even more out of instant depression.

"Oh, Roderich…That's a wonderful gift…Please don't be so upset…We're going to have a fabulous time, even if I do know where we're going…"

"I had planned this for so long…Now it's broken before my feet. Come on. Let's leave so we can arrive…I'm exhausted."

"Darling..."

I felt as if I had taken my boot and murdered his operation like a filthy roach. My mouth should have been contained. Wives should be silent; men are happier that way, aren't they? Guilt stirred within my breast as a merciless illness and the same upset that took Roderich had now transferred to my corpse and stole what happiness had developed.

We sat within the carriage as if we were two cadavers about to be dissected.

"I'm sorry, Roderich."

And as if his life had truly been stolen away by death's unforgiving hand, his mouth held no words.

We moved without voice, our tones shriveling within our throats.

More hours were born and descended, all of them close siblings and held impeccable resemblance. It was truly surprising how very silent a carriage can be; one would think the wheels would cry louder. Perhaps even they had lost their enthusiasm.

I finally spoke when the tension caused my shoulders to fracture.

"Roderich?"

"Yes?" His voice was broken from ill use.

"Please…Don't be upset…"

What comply there would have been miscarried as he connected his lips.

"I know you're disappointed, but this truly doesn't change a thing…We're still going to the same place on the same schedule and we're both still the same people, so why even waste time with being so distraught?" My fingers sought sleep upon his shoulder. "Look! The sun is setting and it's turning into a lovely evening and I'm certain we're drawing nearer…" My lips left a crimson mar upon his milky cheek and then formed into an almost sympathetic smile meant to heal his tired eyes. "I'm excited. You'll mine for an entire evening; something I never have. We inhabit the same house together, and yet I can never locate you…And soon, I'll get to hold you and kiss you and do all of those horribly naughty things we love to do together. Darling, is there anything to truly be upset about?"

"…Well…We are almost there…"

"You see?"

"…And I am looking forward to all of those horribly naughty things we love to do together…"

"Mmm…" I found a place settled against his neck, which was freshly shaved and misted lightly with cologne. "And I love you. That's something to be happy about…"

"Of course, Elizaveta…I love you too…"

And so suddenly, exhaustion came over me as the plague and played substitute for previous melancholy. My eyes were forced from their sleep and sent to bathe in sunrise so early this morning. The lush mess was becoming weighty against my scalp and my limbs were converting to lead.

As I was mildly subdued, a hand rested against my back sweetly, and had my mouth any life, there would be apologies leaking from it as water from a broken spout. I never liked to be made a burden, which kept me from sleeping truly. That poor man…having to live with my hair tucked right under his chin…

"Darling?"

"Hmm?"

"We're here…"

"We are?" My attention was given a sharp prick.

"Yes love. Please wake up…"

Hazy vision left me with the apparition of a handsome man within a world saturating in fiery and lavender hues birthed from twilight. When more focus fully awoke my eyes, I saw we were not where we had been a year ago. Instead, there lied before me a prodigal mansion wearing a lavish garden as gold and each bright blossom turned to a gem. My reality had been mustered from the passions of a master artist, and none of it seemed to actually occur to me.

"…Roderich, what is this?"

His answer was replaced by a mischievous curl of the lips.

"…Is my gift inside?"

"No."

"…In the back?"

"No."

"You didn't…There's no possible way that…No…"

"Well, why don't you see for yourself darling? You have the key."

"What's the matter with you?!" I caught him as the snake stealing the breath of a rat. "You didn't! There's no way! I can't believe this!"

"Goodness, Elizaveta! You don't have to squeeze so hard…"

"Roderich…" I was near to tears from the trauma of shock and ecstasy. All of these emotions were simply too weighty to bear. In my intoxication, I slammed our lips together, trying so desperately to keep my tears contained as to prevent marring this moment.

He had bought me a mansion.

My stingy little Austrian had given me a gorgeous mansion within the confines of Vienna.

My god…

"Please, go try the key…Don't cry yet…"

"Alright, alright…" I wiped stray droplets from my lashes. "Thank you, darling…Thank you so much…"

My sols clattered upon the ground, heels bursting into marathon against a sky stained path leaded to the door. The key became moist against my grip, but there was no chance of it finding a way from my forceful digits.

"I love you, Roderich!" I called as he approached rather calmly from our carriage. My destination was too close within my flooding eyes. There was no patience left.

My feet came to sudden halt before the newly polished oaken door, and the teeth of my golden stuck within the lock, my jittering fingers turning it, a cry coming from within and the porthole falling open. It was such a gorgeous universe inside, freshly made furniture making fantasy of something completely tangible.

Immediately I turned and stole him within my arms, happiness scraping at my irises and love pouring onto my cheeks.

"I assume you like it…" A kiss upon my forehead. "Happy anniversary, darling."

"Happy anniversary…" That was all a shaking tone could muster without rest. "Thank you…I love you so much…I just adore you…" A moment to breath. "What's wrong with you? Buying me a house…" Few tears banished by silk. "Really…"

"Well, why don't we go inside? I might as well get this beating over with, shouldn't I?"

"Alright, Love…Whatever you like…"


	16. Chapter 16

"Roderich…"

My husband was at my side, his chest rising and falling peacefully; he was lost within a world of dreams, too sweet to be left in solitude. Our nude bodies intertwined, my mildly stained lips falling gently upon his collar bone and marring once perfectly milky skin. A shallow puddle of gloss marred flesh and two arms engulfed me in the essence of complete adoration.

"Mmm…Good morning love…"

"Good morning…" Our eyes were mirrors drenched in admiration, and comfortable silence was shattered with slight laughter from Roderich's perfectly molded lips. "I like your hair, Elizaveta. It's incredibly…modern."

"Oh thank you, Roderich. I just had it done and it only took about eight hours…"

"Well, whoever your hairdresser was did a fantastic job."

No words were willing to leave the security of my tongue, so my lips were put to different utilization upon his cheek. And the world remained peaceful for few fleeting moments. "Will you help me get these clips from my hair? Afterward we can bathe together. I think that lovely new bathroom should be broken in, don't you?"

"Of course, Love. I'd say every room needs to be broken in, especially the kitchen. Perhaps even the garden, for good measure. Have you seen it yet?"

"No…Not yet…" Thoughts turned livid and burned upon my lips. "Especially the kitchen?! You adorably filthy man! You're so naughty!"

Roderich's stomach was upset by laughter, his fit short lived. Without a moment's warning my visage was held as a pale ruby, love leaving creators upon my once flawless skin and causing more blood to dye such a flourishing gem.

"Hmm…Darling, let me get those jewels from your hair." There was a smile written across his beckoning face. "You know, I just love to make your face red…You're so beautiful."

"I love you."

"I love you too…Sit up, please. I'll fix your hair…" Roderich's deep azure ink wells searched the chamber a moment, as if he had forgotten something cardinal. "I still have to buy you a mirror for this room, don't I? How foolish of me."

"You're not going to buy me one more damn thing! You're done more than enough…" My hand made a trail of warmth at his chest, and my garden of ruined petals crashed upon the pillow, adjacent to his frame. "Please…I'm perfectly satisfied…Really. Thank you for everything."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh shut your mouth! You buy me a wonderful mansion in a gorgeous city and now you want to do more?! Honestly! I could become your slave the remainder of my years and I would never repay you…Why don't you calm down? Relax, do as you enjoy…Sleep, you poor exhausted man…Oh, I shouldn't have woken you…"

"It's alright…I would have woken up soon anyway…"

My lips were forced to curve, despite all of my faux rage and falsified dismay. Eyes were nearly broken with pure and heavy adoration. "You're sweet, darling."

"Thank you, Elizaveta."

Slowly, our tongues conversed as two serpents intertwining, our hands gently kissing one another's bare skin, and as twin creatures separated, syllables broke from their prison, contained patiently at the back of my throat.

"What do you want for breakfast? I know I never get to cook, but I'm not bad in the kitchen. I'll make something for you…"

"How darling? We don't have any food…"

"Oh! That's right! We don't…I'm sorry." A hand rested upon his face and I could feel my lips ending at my ears. "Well, we can get breakfast a little later…Or if you'd like, we can go now…I don't know, Roderich. It's your decision."

"Let's not worry about that now...Come along Elizaveta. We should get out of this bed, as comfortable as it is."

"Of course."

The jewels so carefully affixed within my complex knot of curls were collected into a small deposit at my nightstand. Roderich's worn hands were placed so lovingly upon my shoulders as the tangled cascade embraced my back. Memory repeated our very first morning together.

I almost had to laugh at my formal discomfort…Now I wanted to be close to this man, my heart having grown for him. I stole one of his hands, so occupied where they were and placed it upon my longing breast, his fingers taking my nipple and blades lapping at it so slightly.

"Elizaveta…I love your body…"

"Thank you…yours is nice too…"

"Hmm…" His palms were sliding across my stomach, hungry digits seeking comfort from cool morning air. One found refuge upon my left breast, while the other kept sinking.

"…Darling, why don't you wait a moment? At this rate, we'll never get to the bath…We'll eat breakfast for dinner and have dinner for breakfast the next day…You don't want that…ah…"

His fingers located a moist little reservoir, fingers submerging and performing as trained swimmers.

"No, but I do want you…and I can tell you want me too…"

Digits came from the water and found a little pink pearl, their tips converting to dance and causing the entire room to quake.

"Ah…Roderich…" The in between of my legs was becoming slick and my husband's words carried incredible truth. I _did _want him. "Wait, wait…"

"What is it love?"

"Just stop for a moment…"

Both hands put a decent argument at my waist, but my frame was allowed to break free and turn to face my husband, catching a decent shock of captivating sapphires. Slowly, my blades stole away that perfect velvet feeling from his flesh and took his cock as my hostage.

"Darling, don't you think you've done enough? Really…Buying me a mansion and then touching me so nicely…I should be doing this for you…Not the opposite…"

"Ahh…But I like touching you…Then again…this is just fine…"

"I'm happy you think so…" My knees bent and my lips sunk to his chest, then to his waist and finally his hips, the entire trip leaving behind a burning trail of saliva as a filthy memoir.

"Ah…I know what you're up to…"

"Do you? Well, I didn't intend for it to be a surprise." My tongue slid against his head, lapping hungrily as a starving animal to a bowl of abandoned milk. He was only partially erect, and I intended to cure that with a busy orifice and few fingers.

"Elizaveta…"

I took him in between a veil of two stained crimson mounds, that hue finally lifting from a night occupied with work. A light vacuum was created, causing shameless gasps to take life and expire within the air below his nose. My hand still performed a task; through all of this passion, one learns to multitask. Digits slid past his hardening arousal, and I was left with an estimation of short time.

A moment passed with a kiss of mine flaring against the tip, my wrist allowed to perform more to its potential. A small amount of his seed had broken from its comfortable home and was cleaned immediately by a willing tongue.

"Aah…"

"Am I doing well, Mr. Edelstein?"

"You can't tell…? Love, I'm in your palm…"

"So…" Fingers drew nearer to their owner. "I can assume that's a yes?"

"Mmm…"

"Mmm?" Lips walked from their positions, edges drawing nearer to blossoming cheeks. "Well, I'll stop running my mouth and put it to a better use."

He was submerged, a serpent wrapping around him as if it were prey, and even more blood rushing to my palm.

Despite the salty flavor of happy flesh, I enjoyed bringing my husband such sensations. I loved how very aroused I could make him. Roderich's very bones became dough within my control, and he was utterly mine.

"S-stop…"

"Stop?"

"Yes…Stop. I want you."

"Do you?" There was a smile. "Well, then take me…" And then a kiss. "How would you like me today, Roderich?"

"Just lie down on the bed…We'll keep things classical…"

My laughter escaped from security. "Goodness, you're adorable…Of course."

I sat upon the bed, drowning within a frothy sea of ruined silk. My core was leaking from starving anticipation. As Roderich lowered himself upon me, our lips met at a juncture and my arms took creamy skin as captive. At the falling of our lips, he eased his arousal inside a steamy little crevice and lapped at my deeper parts, causing my orifice to widen.

"Ah!" I twisted below him as I often did in such a situation, pleasure plaguing my spine with awful fingers composed of jolts.

And slowly, his hips began to thrust, causing his member to burry itself and then come back to that bleached morning light. He was always so soft…

"Darling, darling! I'm not a virgin! Please…be a little rougher…"

A kiss was used to secure my lips.

"Oh? Really? I couldn't tell."

I allowed such jagged comments to evaporate upon the floorboards, and waiting patiently as his pace quickened.

As his movements became less controlled and more savage, my legs took his waist, a moan shattering my lips and marring what serenity lied within the corners of the room.

"Ah, god! That's wonderful!"

My eyes took me from the visible world, and my body could do nothing but relax against his moving form, holding him close to my bare chest. Times like these were pinned tightly to my heart. It was wondrous to have someone so very close...

"Elizaveta…"

For a moment, he came in deeply and lingered, then withdrew himself to the hilt and repeated the act. Oh, he knew what I adored. My legs secured him closely to me and I brought my drying lips against his.

There was a grin against my mouth, and I allowed him free, his arousal once again submerged deeply.

"Mmm…Roderich…"

Feeling was subduing me as a drug, one that made each nerve scream in ecstasy. It possessed my veins as a horrid virus and submission wasn't a difficult task. Perspiration kissed my forehead and the back of my knees, bent and becoming numb within the air.

"Elizaveta!"

My husband was dragging me in closer my the hips, my lips spreading even further from one another as he dug his way in.

"A-ah!" Muscles between my legs contracted, and I collapsed under his still busy body, a moan slipping from my heaving chest. "Ah…"

For a moment, he held my quivering form against him, his seed emptying and breath fading from his grasp. Our lips found comfort and our tongues curled a few seconds. I was allowed to be single as he was thrown carelessly to my side. Our corpses were adjacent and our hands were connected.

"Goodness…Thank you, love…" I told him, a smile living richly upon my face.

And for a moment, our mouths remained barren as the pleasure was slowly bleached from quaking limbs.

"…Would you like to bathe now?" His inquiry was soft and devoid of energy.

"Yes…" My vision was taken by peach fabric, and I rolled against him. "…Would you like to rest a moment? I'll stay…Or I'll have the water ready. Whatever you like, darling."

"Please stay…I like having you close to me…"

"Of course, Roderich. You're so warm…"

We made love in the bathroom. We made love in the hallway and we made love in the kitchen. We made love until we couldn't make love anymore, and at that point, we simply ate.

As the light descended into the mountains from our beautiful day, Roderich and I sat across from one another, porcelain cups brimming with fresh jasmine tea and crisp strudel awaiting death upon mirror-like plates. Despite our bruises, gathered upon our skin in legions, our faces reflected smiles and our eyes were drenched in truth. Feet played idiotic games as two children keeping passionate affection from one another, and fingers sat within one another upon the table.

"I love you…"

"I love you too…" My answer took form automatically. "I can assume you'd like to go homes and sleep…"

"No, darling. I'd like to build a set of chairs and a table."

"Oh, you're just awful!"

"Well, Elizaveta, you're the one who brought that one." Sweets dissolved upon his tongue, causing his mouth to affix a smile to his visage. "You're so adorable when you're upset…"

My cheeks inflated as an indignant toddler's, and my glance was shifted to the mountains poised at my side. What stupid contests we endured.

"Don't pop, love. I'd be upset if you lost that pretty face…"

"Well, alright…"

I was so swollen with mirth that my figure could very well have grown and burst. Any ill occurrence was lost under sharply pointed heals and a veil of deep soil, kept untouchable by shovels of any strength.

As we left, our digits were adhered to one another's, so horribly tangled they were impossible to be pried apart. That bind wasn't made by lust but by love purer then spring water secured upon a tall mountain.

My former lies were no longer venomous untruths. My heart had flourished as a sunflower, from pitiful seed to a plant hovering above our heads. It was almost as times lost, when there was a snowy haired Prussian at my side.


	17. Chapter 17

Our sols were planted in Vienna soil an entire week, and suddenly, I found myself in a carriage heading the direction of home sitting in the presence of a very satisfied man. I could have stayed a year and the greenery would have been fresh, but my love's occupation would never permit such a gesture.

"Don't worry, Elizaveta. You can return any time you like."

"Oh, don't be so silly. I couldn't go anywhere without you…At least not a long time."

"That was the entire point. I know you're frequently bored back home…Of course, I wouldn't want you to leave too often, but when you're ready to tear your hair out, I won't require you to stay."

"Oh, love…You're entirely too sweet…Well…alright. But only when I'm balding. I doubt either of us would want me to loose my hair…Although…It seems unfair for me to having a fantastic time in Vienna when my poor husband is stuck inside a dusty office, busy all day."

His comply came in the shape of two bunched mounds and landed sweetly upon my cheek. "You're a good wife, Elizaveta."

"Thank you, Roderich. You're a fantastic husband." My guilt was his under a heavy mask. Good wives didn't write words of love to forbidden Prussians who adored them just as their husbands. But what harm would come from few playful statements exchanged? The letterbox was lost under a thick veil of bed sheets and buried in a thin coding of dust.

I would have to send him a note. His curiosity peaked at these little events of mine.

As our heels prodded gently at mounds of unnamed gravel, disappointment took purchase within my chest. Seven days submerged in my husband's sweet arms, mouths adhered as if nails were utilized to hold their places…Hands explored one another's most hidden areas…I yearned for such times when they weren't sitting within my palm.

"…I suppose you're going to that office as soon as you get your feet through that door…"

"I'm afraid so. As much as I love you, I can't put off my papers any longer."

"My poor Roderich…" My fingers melded within his, ready to keep them from evading from my grasp and taking up that horrid pen. His flesh was calloused from such ill treatment. "You're a sweet man…It's a shame you're locked in that prison for such long hours…"

"I am too, darling. But it's alright. At least we had some time together."

"Yes…It was lovely to have you…Well, go work. I'll see you later tonight at dinner."

"Thank you, Elizaveta." A kiss assigned to unsuspecting flesh. "Goodness, I'd like to sleep…I'll see you a little later this evening."

My feet were mortified as stone, and my eyes were trapped against crystal windows, watching as Roderich entered that glorious penitentiary. Some part of my stricken body was joyous to be home, and even if my husband couldn't bask in a world of silken comfort, I certainly would. The road is a monster that steals the energy from one's limbs and makes sacrifice to the blinding sun. My eyes wore upon my cheeks, and I managed to shift those leather boots brimming with exhausted concrete.

I was lost in a dream with a Prussian wrapped around me, overtaking my limbs and boiling my flesh until it turned rose. Beautiful bruises appeared at my neck in the formation of a ruby chain, staining my collar bone and forcing my eyes to bring inhabitance to the bedroom.

Yes…A letter to Gilbert…

My bare feet clung to the marble, which delivered my form to the office filled with stained light. A place before the shining oaken desk was stolen, and I laid a sheet of manila parchment to sit empty before my ready hands. The ink well was brimming with darkness and just as eager to leave scars for my Prussian to read.

The entire week of love making sat idol within my memory, never to breach the surface of my hand and make marks upon the flesh of this note. Instead, my fingers gave him the mansion and its estate in lavish words, holding nothing back for his starving eyes. Happiness teemed within my stomach; even Gilbert's ill emotion couldn't keep that sickness from my veins. As much as that Prussian detested Roderich, one could not deny that it was the caliber of gift most men could never even dream to lay their touch upon. Gilbert hated my husband, but that hadn't blackened my opinion.

As it always was, my words were finished with a burst of passionate emotion and breached at closing by a crimson seal. It was sent directly under Roderich's busied nose.

Guilt was injected to my throat as potent poison. For a year's duration, lies were spilled as filth and secrets were contained as beasts behind lock-and-key. Even from our first day, venom was lost from my horrid mouth. Roderich had offered me his music, his money, his body, and all of those endearing affections left to no one else…And here I stood, a pen composing hidden truths and smuggling a chest brimming with forbidden love buried in dark safety.

…But...however could I loose my Gilbert to time?

My predicament was kissed and punctured by fate all at one moment. My heart fluttered so madly for a man I could never call mine…The very same man I had known since my limbs were short and my tresses were well contained.

How very naïve I was.

To repent, I went to my husband as if he were some kind of godly priest, and had expectations well fulfilled. His hands were diligent workers with a world of parchment in disarray compiled around them. Glasses tried to escape his nose, but the suicide was canceled as soon as his middle finger held them back.

"…Darling?"

"Hmm?" Occupied sapphires took to my image. "Oh hello, dear. Do you need something?"

"No. I simply became lonely and thought perhaps you were lonely as well…So, I came to kiss you, perhaps have a short conversation, you know…"

"Oh, Elizaveta, I really wish I could…but I'm so far buried under papers…However, I'd love a kiss."

"You poor man…Of course…"

It occurred to me what a splendid office this was. Perhaps it was the cruel siren devouring Roderich's strength day after treacherous day, but as one admires a prim mistress, I had to admire this chamber. The soft wavering curtains permitted gentle light to flood the corners while the walls held complex paintings of breath thieving landscapes and even a framed photograph of me. My heart could only flutter. It wasn't often I was permitted to this world, although so many words had been spoken of it. This glorious space was shrouded in a thick veil of my own ignorance.

And I stood before his desk, feet as far as limits would allow. My body leaned forward at the waist and I placed a kiss to linger upon either cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Elizaveta."

"Can I bring you anything?"

"No, darling. I'm quite alright, but thank you."

Smiles were exchanged.

I left my husband to his possessor, the one that harbored such awful grudges toward me, and sat in patience as the moon overtook the sky and sat in a bed composed of blackened clouds. Dinner would soon arrive, and my hopes were placed on the highest shelf that his work would be finished for tonight. Not many hours had come and died since our last meeting, however, I enjoyed claiming his presence as my own. Our lips would always come at a junction, and our fingers were wrapped as tightly compact ribbons.

Yes…I loved my husband.

What bitter misfortune that our time together was so sparse.


	18. Chapter 18

A month progressed as any other would, full of escaped glances and time spent in a wrapping of desire for them. Despite a routine saturated by the mundane, my feet were planted firmly in within my home's garden. As much as a voyage to Vienna would have brought excitement to my grasp, guilt would infect my blood as heavily as the plague if a heel of mine were to even to slip from the front door and land upon the welcome mat.

Within that month, that blood that had come as nothing but an annoyance seemed to evaporate; a sickness took its place as a loyal substitute.

It was unfathomable that such a thing had occurred. Within our first year together, my stomach remained dry as a farmer's plantations in drought. Roderich was always so lost within that world of papers and a single hopeful window…Far too preoccupied to offer a child. Doubts were beginning to eat upon my mind as a delicacy, leaving me to panic for the sake of my own fertility. I had almost sold hope to disappointment for a weighty satchel of gold.

But now, there seemed to be a chance of new life, my womb no longer a broken net. These ill feelings weren't typical happenings, and my blood usually came to me on a strict schedule, kept in hand by the waxing and waning moon.

Naturally, I kept my mouth from leaking such wondrous news, even though my words were kicking at my teeth and begging to have a place upon the table. Although, nothing could be a certainty and putting an ill taste within my husband's mouth from the bitter stain of disappointment wasn't a goal I held to my chest. I'd rather have the painful prick laid upon one pair of hands.

Within all of my hopes, I hadn't left Gilbert to time. He had yet to construct a reply for my letter. Perhaps he was locked within the confines of his own schedule, or perhaps he didn't want to hold a discussion against my words. If the latter was indeed tangible, there could be no blame stocked upon his tanned shoulders. His most hated rival had given his little Hungarian jewel an entire mansion. As much as I adored him, it was a standard few men could live up to, and even fewer men would have accomplished.

Eventually, the note was dropped upon my palms entwined with the guise of heavy blossoms. Sunset pigmented their gorgeous faces, along with the fire of passionate crimson. It had been nearly five weeks since my letter had been sent, and now the worries of two parties eating so savagely at my stomach seemed to calm immensely.

The words sprawled upon the parchment were barren of their normal flare. Gilbert had become subdued under the excellent weight of my lavish mansion. However, the estate's address was demanded, and my presence requested within three weeks.

My heart flushed! Of course! I held the perfect opportunity to see my lost Prussian, the privilege granted by my own Roderich, deserted under a mound of unkind documents.

…However, that wasn't what the gift was intended for…and seeing my Prussian by those means would brand the word 'traitor' upon my brow…But it had already been sketched there by a year's recollection, filled with passionate words tucked so safely behind an unreachable veil of weighty bed skirts.

It was so long for these emeralds…They had grown exhausted of such boredom.

My note was a snake writhing with positive complies. Within three weeks, I would be placed in my Prussian's arms, lost within the core of Vienna.

And as I waited, excitement wrought havoc within my womb. Between a child and Gilbert, my limbs were ready to burst as a firework ignited with joy. The blood within my veins rushed so quickly and gathered into my heart.

"Darling, what's been wrong with you?"

As the time dictated, we were positioned so perfectly at the oaken dining table with a silver platter full of warm and welcoming food. The glass of wine that usually accompanied my diner remained half full. A drunken mother produces drunken heirs.

"Wrong? Why nothing, Roderich. What makes you say that?"

"You've been so…Giddy. Has something happened?"

My lips could not help but curl, and words slammed against fastened rosy flesh. "Hmm…I don't know, Roderich. Nothing too out of the ordinary..." The debate was raging within every measure of me, and all I could spout was a bare hint.

"Please tell me Elizaveta…I'd really like to know."

"Well…"

"Well?"

"Well…Why don't you guess?"

"Guess?" A sigh arose from a tired stomach. "Guess…Did you win a large sum of money?"

"No."

"Did someone tell you something nice?"

"No…Not anything too pertinent..."

"Oh, well...I'm sorry dear. I'm fresh out of guesses. Won't you tell me?"

"…Alright." The decision sat within my throat and drank my confidence as if it was fantastic wine. "I'll tell you." I required a moment to place my words. They were far too heavy to arrange in the wrong sequence. "I…My blood didn't come last month…and I've been feeling a bit sick lately…" As my statement was born, it didn't seem to possess death. "My breasts hurt…Darling, I think I've become pregnant. It's a bit too early to tell, but…well-" Syllables died behind my teeth, which showed under shifting lips.

"...Pregnant? Really?"

I was only able to offer an affirmative nod.

"Elizaveta, that's wonderful."

"I know…I was getting so worried…Maybe we just needed to make love more often. That week in Vienna must have helped…"

The news must have still been seeping in through small pours. Of course, his words would be of joy. Roderich wasn't the type of man to let me sit in a garden so healthy with disappointment. But learning of sudden fatherhood would intoxicate anyone with potent shock.

"It's alright, Darling. Everything will be fine…I was surprised at first as well…"

"I'm sorry, Elizaveta. It's a lot to take in at once. But I am happy…Simply stunned…"

"Of course…It's nothing trivial."

"Thank you…I'm certain our child will be lovely."

I was patient a moment before interjecting more words. "Speaking of lovely…would it break your heart if I went to that pretty little mansion a week or so? If everything goes as planned, well…In about seven months, I'm going to be incredibly…occupied."

"It always breaks my heart when you're away…But yes. You may go…I won't be able to accompany you, but you're welcome to a week to yourself."

"Thank you, darling."

"You'll be careful, won't you? No ludicrous parties or strenuous activity?"

"Of course not! I don't even do those things on a normal basis…You needn't worry about me, Roderich." My tongue became sweetened by the gentle kiss of love.

"I always worry about you, dear…Regardless; I should give you some spending money."

"Oh, please...Not much."

"A bit." My hand was subdued to a gentle caress and taken captive by a loving touch, causing a smile to break upon my face as the dawn across a black horizon.

"I love you, Roderich…Do you have to work anymore after this? I want to kiss you."

"Fortunately, no. You can kiss me all you like."

"Thank you. I'd be privileged to."

We returned to our room, Roderich's fingers unlacing me as if I had converted a gorgeously wrapped gift, glimmering in the light of a birthday morning. How playful he was at times. Such behavior brought surprise even to my senses, though his presence was as perfunctory as the steady pump of my core.

"What a silly man…" Garments became slack against my shoulders. "You've already put something in my stomach…"

"I know, Elizaveta. That doesn't make removing your clothes any less enjoyable."

"Do you mean like a doll?"

"You're prettier than a doll…"

"Thank you, Roderich. You're very handsome…I'm not sure I tell you that enough." There was a touch of compact lips at the nape of my shivering neck and silk was pulled from my womanly frame, which was certain to expand as a growing fruit. Soon enough, I would become plump and enriched with life.

The loss of nights like this…

How my heart would yearn for them…

While foolish thoughts captivated me, my undergarments collapsed upon the floor as an exhausted dancer. They grew warm around my feet, which were curling upon chilled marble.

"Oh my!" Horrid surprise had claimed me as a victim, my cheeks filling the room with their electrified luminescence. It was so sudden to be struck with fever...In an intoxicated daze, my toes escaped my former silks, and I turned to face my lover so easily wound in beauty's advances. That lovely man's eyes fell to the minute growth sitting dormant within my middle. Slowly, I took hold of his palm and stored it against my belly button, the small protrusion of development joyous against his fatherly hand. Mine was placed with care upon it, keeping his place with loving appendages.

"Don't worry, Roderich. I'll look like myself at least a while longer…and I'm still willing to make love to you…"

"I'm not worried dear…I'm simply thinking."

"Well…Let me undress you."

I allowed his hand to assume a more comfortable position as quick work was made of his buttons. Little golden clasps falling into their respective mouths... Was anything about this man unappealing? My hands found settlements against his neck and collar bone, licking at that wondrous velvet feeling of flesh that was special only to his body.

"You're so soft…I love your skin…" My palm fell tired against his cheek, endearing with a slight shade of rose. "Goodness! My stomach isn't that intriguing, is it? There's barely anything there yet, if there's anything at all…" I relieved his shoulders of their cotton worn from a toilsome day's obligations. "Roderich, love…I'm up here."

"Oh, I'm sorry Elizaveta. I was looking at your breasts."

There was a slap in jest, and he laughed, causing a twin reaction to strike my stomach.

"Please don't hit me too hard. People won't take much pity if they found out it was you who beat me to a bloodied pulp. And goodness, I'm a horrid liar."

"I'm not going to beat you, Roderich. I love you too much. Let's get those trousers off."

Our bodies were intertwined that night, as well as our tongues and digits. This kind of love was rare as the fountain of youth and twice its sweetness. My purpose as a wife was fulfilled, yet Roderich's fingers still caressed me so fragilely, and my body still bent to that very will.

And for a moment, like so many nameless others, guilt struck as a sudden bolt to my nerves. I was leaving to see Gilbert in only a few days time…there was no other cancelation besides venomous anger…My address was likely stained upon his palms.

Oh, what a horrid wife I was…


	19. Chapter 19

"Elizaveta…Open your eyes, love…"

A sudden flash of stabbing luminescence tore lesions upon my irises through their covers, and forced me to wake in a start of mild annoyance and horrid confusion.

"Mmm…" My hand collapsed sloppily upon my face, my flesh trying to absorb the pain sitting just below my furrowed brows.

"Oh! That's a good one! You just look so natural, Elizaveta!"

I rose, my body devoid of its acquired skin and partially covered under censorship of pearly silk. There was another burst.

"Now you look like an angry goddess. Please don't move."

"Roderich." My throat was in frustration, the sound from it cracking as a barren desert made only of angry red sand. The world was writhing in loss of understanding, and stress curled around my stomach as a vile disease. "Please, please, don't make me kill you and that goddamn camera."

"But love, you're so gorgeous! Especially in the morning!"

"No, please don't…I'd like to wake up before I have lights going off in my face…"

"Well…" A slight pause that lasted the span of a mere second. "Are you awake yet?"

"No!"

There was another glare of enraged brightness, and my feet sprung me from my position. "Roderich!"

A flash. "Now you are, darling! Why don't you pose for me, love? You're so beautiful!"

"For god's sake, Roderich! This stress isn't good for my condition!"

"But it's only a few photos!"

"Roderich!"

"Elizaveta!"

And it that moment, my stomach rejected what little was inside it, stress burning my mouth as potent alcohol and sickness striking a once calm and undeserving marble. The feelings inhabiting my veins became nauseous, and I nearly fell back upon the tangle of frothy and willing sheets. "…Look what you made me do…"

"Oh darling…I'm sorry…" There was no hesitation for his toes to shift, his hand occupied with my anger in the incarnation of photographs. I was adopted by two kind arms, securing me in a grasp spouting love rich as the finest of red wines. "Are you sure you want to leave today? If you're not feeling well enough, the entire thing can be called off, and you can stay home…and I can take more photos of you…"

"No I'll be alright. It's only going to progress, and eventually, I'll hardly be able to leave at all…"

"My poor darling…Are you certain?"

"Yes. I am."

"You promise you'll be careful…Tell the driver to go slowly, and please don't drink too much…Don't drink if you can…and please relax…and please don't lift anything too heavy…don't lift anything heavy at all…actually, just don't lift anything. Are you sure you want to go? I'll be in a panic the entire time you're gone…"

"You don't need to panic, love. Everything is going to be absolutely fine."

"Alright…Darling?"

"Yes, Roderich?"

"My I take a few more photographs? These are going to be ruined, and I need something to remember you by."

"No!" I kept him at a close proximity. "No dear. You'll simply have to depend upon your own memories. I'm not much in the mood for posing nude today…But when I return, I'll be your statue. Maybe this little child of mine will grow, and they'll turn out to be more interesting..."

"I adore you, you're aware of that, aren't you? And I'd kiss you if I wasn't standing in your sickness…"

"Thank you...I suppose." A brief taste of sugared laughter. "I love you too…" Our bodies lingered as entwined marble, and the stone shattered as my form moved away to clothe itself.

To think I would be meeting Gilbert once again…The core sitting inside my chest grew unsteady, causing the sides of my ribcage to become weak. My stomach churned, nervous fingers quaking at its side.

My things were brought outside before my feet even breached our chamber, and the kisses I was given before my departure were stowed within my breast. Despite my love for another, I would miss him. I had grown such adoration for him…

As I waved to husband from the comfort of a lavish carriage, thoughts came to my mind as buzzing, angry flies to a clear window sill. Would that man be waiting for me when my sols embraced that beautiful welcome mat? He wouldn't dare forget the date…But I had I scribed our address correctly?

Well…Gilbert, or lack thereof, Vienna was a lovely bin to throw the essence of wasted days, although my hopes were polished upon high shelves.

When I grew exhausted of thoughts, my body was submerged in dreams. The upset waging war against the normality of my womb was unkind, and fatigue struck fatally. My frame was laid upon a bed of cushions my husband insisted I bring. What were children in his stage but pain? If only I could achieve motherhood without exerting such energy…

My trip seemed shorter than it actually because I spent it upon my back surrounded in pleasant dreams of adoring husbands and a horrible secret lover.

I was awoken by the soft push of our stopping wheels, and a voice that served as an alarm.

"Mrs. Edelstein, we've arrived."

"Oh?" The sleep intoxicated began to fade, and slowly, I was sober. "We have?"

The driver was taking my luggage with both of his worn hands, my small case of dresses in the right and whatever other essentials at the left. His toes stopped outside the open portal and he waited in utter patience as I descended.

"Thank you." I put my hand out to offer to carry one of the cases, but the man shook his graying head.

"No, Mrs. Edelstein. I was instructed to carry your things for you, at least to the door mat…And let me tell you, your husband was quite strict about it."

"Oh, was he…Well, alright. Thank you." Even after all the time locked in Roderich's lavish prison, there was still no adjustment to servants. I had felt some degree of discomfort accepting paid favors. It was possible they detested me simply because of my position, but my place was once below even their sullen feet, and I had always tried to be kind.

Our sols moved together, places adjacent to the toe. The inside of my chest was becoming inflamed by its own limits, and the nausea was once again set upon its pedestal within my sickening middle. So much focus was needed to simply pass forward, and I felt as if I would collapse simply by standing upright. This anticipation was a virus that held one cure, and that very resolution sat comfortably within my Prussian's hand. We longed for one another.

Would he truly be here?

So much time had passed since that ridiculous ball; he had become something as a legend… A creature that had been longed for in the form of stories and false encounters…

I jammed the teeth of the shining key into their respective jaw and turned as a cruel dentist. The knob revolved and I was allowed my fantasy world, the entire mansion having been soaked in the fiery hues sunset had to offer. This entire universe was marinating in beauty…

My tangibles were finally placed within my own grasp.

"Thank you for everything. Shake my Roderich down for a decent tip, and be sure to tell him his wife was very strict about it."

Wrinkles shifted to make ground for a smile. "Of course, Mrs. Edelstein. It was my pleasure."

A bow exchanged, and finally, my feet kissed the beauty of my alternate reality. My heart was jabbing against my breast plate, trying so hard to escape me and see this world for its own eyes. The core was shaking, leaving limbs to quake and gloved fingers to jitter. I placed my things at my heels.

My teeth rested upon my lower lip, which was sent into seizure just as any other part of me. Where was that shining intruder?

"Gilbert?" The noise seeping from my suddenly arid throat became light and expired easily within the dense atmosphere. "Gilbert?" I created a stronger noise.

Yet, there wasn't a response.

Perhaps he hadn't found a way inside. Due to my husband's strict paranoia, every door and window was nearly bolted shut at the last use. It was unlikely even one pane was let unlatched.

So, my search commenced, this time to the garden while doubt poured through my mind as crystal water to a sieve. The sound of my shoes against ground was loud, and the walk became nearly overbearing in length.

I was placed at the beginning of my garden, the mountains drenched in fire taking my attention as greedy beggars. Life flourished in the form of jewels, each flower so rich in its hue that it could easily shine in blackness. The beams of twilight kept its fingers upon anything visible, the tree waiting paces away the most affected by this glorious infection.

"Gilbert…" My own voice shattered the beauty as a glass vase to marble flooring, yet, it persisted. "Mr. Weillschmidt…Are you here?"

No. This blossoming world held no answer except a breeze barren of noise. I trudged further into the growing world, emeralds searching wildly for those pigments of snow…

Well…even if Gilbert wasn't here, my garden was healthy…perhaps he needed more time. His journey was not a minimal distance…

I collapsed beneath the shade of the caring tree, and for a moment, I simply regarded its fertility. Gorgeous and deep red apples sat amongst its branches, so rich to even behold, I had to move my vision.

I sighed as memories became rotten within my chest. My eyes shunned this gorgeous world as my hopes were taken from their places and dropped unmindfully within my arms. I cradled them, wanting nothing but rest.

I had slept so heavily, but exhaustion was slowing my blood. Catching these hopes took what little power I had.

Moments of near silence past, the only conversations being held being between the greenery and the wind. As the grass rustled at my side, no attention was paid. My consciousness of the sun was only evoked when something warm pressed to my shoulder and a familiar scent charged my nostrils.

"Gilbert!" The hopes I held close to my breast took their assignments upon the shelf once more, and I found myself plunged within a long awaited embrace. Those rubies were finally mine.

"Hello, Eli." Those worn leather gloves combed through my cascade of tresses, dyed a shade of golden due to the sun's ever pursuing lips. My senses were scratched heavily as our mouths met at a common plain.

My god, I loved him.

When our kiss subsided, we simply help one another at a close proximity, basking in the beauty of this world and the perfection of the moment. We indulged in one another's presence, and tears of concerned joy sat high upon my cheeks.

"You're here…" I said.

"I know…So you are…I missed you…"

"I missed you too…I was worried I wouldn't see you…"

"I was too…" There was a soft touch upon my brow. "I thought I might have been in the wrong garden…How unfortunate for anyone who wasn't expecting me."

My stomach bent happily with amusement. "Well, you're in the right place…"

There were seconds of divine silence, my ecstasy leaking easily upon his blouse. It was so comfortable within his arms…I adored every part of him.

"Eli, would you like to go inside…I thought you'd be upset with me if I broke a window…"

"Of course!" My silken gloves took droplets of mirth. "How long have you been waiting?"

"A few hours…"

"Poor Gilbert…It must have been warm."

"Precisely why I'd like to go in..." His sleeve was the one to remove the emotion from my face, his eyes deep wells of crimson adoration. All so suddenly, I was lifted from the grass's willing finger tips as slight protest shattered the glass walls of my throat.

My Prussian seemed to b amused. "I won't drop you, Eli. I promise."

"I know you won't, Gilbert. But regardless, please be careful."

The porthole to the mansion was left to waver within the breeze, and I was brought inside only to be plopped softly upon my toes while a pair of compact lips branded fire upon my cheek.

Yes, here he was…Gilbert so tangible before my fingers. For a moment, I simply drank him, this fantasy having been a falsity ripped away by consciousness so many times before. And I watched, still, as he absorbed not only my presence but the existence of this gorgeous world he wasn't able to provide. Reality was sinking in as a pebble to a clear glass of sparkling fluid.

"So…Your husband gave this to you…"

"Yes…he did."

I could see that monstrous ego shriveling within writhing stomach acid. "…My god…" There was a pause saturated in tension. "It's wrong."

There was no commentary that wished to be expressed.

"It's wrong that your stingy little Austrian gets to give you gifts like this and…" His words died from incoherency. "And I have to settle with flowers and ridiculous little trinkets. I love you so much more than he does, and I was miserable _because _I love you so much more than he does!" I could see beads of rage forming at his pale lashes. "I don't even get to see you, while your goddamn husband takes you for granted day after day!"

"Gilbert, that's not true!"

My words didn't have an input. "I'm not allowed to give you a thing, and that money grubbing _pansy_ gives you a mansion! It's infuriating!"

"Darling, none of that even matters! You should be glad…because now you _can_ see me…This mansion is the best thing that's happened yet…I can be yours again, even if it's only every once in a while, it's better than having to wait years until we just come across one another! He's given us both something…"

The room seemed to fall still as my statements medicated him, subduing that passion that ran so ramped through his veins.

"Gilbert, please just be happy…I love you, and we're both right here…So I can love you without having to write secret letters and cry afterward because I'm so convinced _this_ will never happen! You won't have to send me those ridiculous little trinkets any longer. We're both here, and why you're standing so far away, I don't know…" My visage was sold to mild tears, my state far too emotional to deal with such upset. "Please come closer."

"Eli, please don't cry…" The Prussian came rushing to my side as if to collect the broken pieces of a shattered glass. "Please. It kills me when you're upset, and I'm not allowed to make you cry twice in one day..." And carefully, he adhered each fragment to its original bearing. "Please…I'll have to punch myself later if you cry anymore…"

"I'm sorry Gilbert…Don't hurt yourself…" Silk devoured my upset as nutrition, and I began to calm myself within the confines of his loving embrace.

"Do you want to hear something odd?"

A forceful gulp. "Alright…"

"When you were away I grew a mustache…"

"What? A mustache?" There was a smile bestowed upon my lips that mirrored his as a twin.

"But I shaved it off before I came to see you…"

"I would have liked to see it…"

Peaceful seconds commenced. "Eli, I lied…"

"About your mustache?" My voice was that of a dejected child's.

"Yes…About my mustache."

"Why would you do such an awful thing?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry, Eli."

"Well…It's alright, Gilbert. I forgive you."

"Thank you, darling. Why don't you show me the rest of this idiotic mansion?"

"Of course." I wore a tinge of happiness and erased a few oncoming droplets.

I offered Gilbert a tour full of complexities, wanting to put an explanation to everything to prevent any words of anger to slip from his tongue. His eyes seemed to absorb dejection as our feet passed walls lavish with decorations and prettily captured landscapes. Of course…My husband had outdone him. There was no escaping it. The very fact filled those rubies wholly.

Our feet rested upon the bathroom floor as the final stop. Our observance was drawn to the large round window sitting on the furthest wall, the moon's shining visage inhabiting it as a goldfish to a glass of water. She had become so large and golden; one might think her to be the sun. Her face construed of perfect craters reduced us to filth, as if we were unworthy to be in her ever glorious presence. For a moment, my gaze shifted to the bathtub, its entire rim covered in a crimson veil, challenging the angry eyes of the moon.

"Do you like it?" My voice broke through all of the gorgeous tension, and my glance was offered as a small cake upon a silver platter to my darling, who was also entranced by this chamber in its nightly form.

"It's a nice window…" For a moment, laughter caught him. "It's funny to have such a large piece of glass where one is supposed to be naked, but I suppose that's what the curtain is for." The same crooked smile I had fallen in love with so many times before over took me, and I was possessed to lay a kiss upon his cheek.

"Would you mind if I took a bath? It's been a long day…"

"Oh, of course…I'd make food while you were waiting, but…there really isn't any…"

"That cheap Austrian won't even feed you?!"

"No! Quiet you! I don't come here every week! Why even buy food if it's only purpose is to spoil?! Goodness, Gilbert! I know you don't like the man, but that's just absurd!"

Surprise took his face as a fist to an unsuspecting middle. Brows bent under a weighty sigh. Men weren't accustomed to having their lovely little jewels reprimand them.

"I'm sorry…I suppose that was rude of me…but my husband feeds me quite adequately, so there's no need to be upset…"

"No, I'm sorry, Eli…I should use my damn head…Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to bathe now." A set of compact lips touched me affectionately. "You do as you like."

I was adhered to my place as Gilbert removed his cravat, and lingered a moment as his buttons flew to their sleeves, and remained another as his muscular and slightly bronzed shoulders lost their acquired flesh and became bare.

"Hello, Eli."

"Hello, Gilbert…You're undressing."

"Hmm…" His beguilement wasn't put under any sort of cover. "Yes. That's usually how it works dear, unless you normally bathe in your clothes…" Fingers sat idle upon his belt, and I was regarded with a smile.

Gilbert might not have held the highest rank in our ridiculous little society, but he certainly had something very few aristocrats had. I had never observed such muscles…My Prussian was in a good form, I had been well aware of that for years, but I never had much opportunity to indulge my sight with his naked skin.

"Eli…?"

"Yes, Mr. Weillschmidt?" Blood held my cheeks with a tyrannical grasp.

"I'm undressing."

"Oh…well…I'll go downstairs now…Please don't be too long…I'll have some…" His abdominals must have been molded from tightly knotted ropes! "wine…for you…and I. Have a nice bath."

Gilbert was laughing at me, hilarity curling his lips and illuminating that well composed face. "Thank you." The belt slipped from its comfortable place within the loops, and hung as a freshly dead serpent in his grasp.

"Well, alright. Good-bye."

"Good-bye." As if in a daze, I drifted to the door, Gilbert's snickers festering within my ear. To think that one can be drunk from attraction. The porthole was closed with immense control.

As Gilbert cleaned himself, rich bloody liquid took the form of two identical glasses; mine filled only to one fourth its capacity. They were placed adjacent to each other at the table; Gilbert's sitting at the head. I waited at the chalice's left, afflicted my gaze upon my digits as if they were some type of specimen. They moved to my stomach of their own jurisdiction, the virus holding my senses seeming to calm against their careful touch. It was a beautiful process, in its own sort…and I hoped so solidly that Gilbert wouldn't take any knowledge of my condition. Certainly, if he was crushed under my husband's wealth, there was no chance of him reacting calmly to this child's very presence, even if my growth had no words to inhabit its unformed mouth.

It was fortunate this minute life was undetectable through a weighty guise of irritating fabric. It would simply become a problem at a later date.

I was greeted by a man with strands of snow holding his forehead as a lover. Each was misty from his previous activity, those rough platinum sections making their appearance softly.

"Hello." I was spoken to with an adoring sort of tone. His eyes were so gentle with me, I thought they might melt from their sockets and sit as yolks upon my palms.

"Hello, Gilbert…"

An embrace held my frame, lips coming into meeting and places taken.

"Eli, aren't you going to have anymore than that? There's practically nothing in that glass…"

"Oh, no. I'd only like a taste. I'm not very thirsty. Why don't you drink my portion for me?"

"…Alright." An air of suspicion inhabited his voice as an ill aura, which seemed to diminish under a light lacing of crimson. "Mmm…" His taste buds seemed to alleviate any reason to interrogate further. "Well, if you husband has taste in anything, it's wine and women…"

My face must have been bleached the same hue as his glass, causing amused joy to illuminate within rubies fashioned to the form of orbs.

"Goddamn, you're cute."

"I am?" My visage might as well have been a field ripe with healthy cherries.

"I've been telling you the same thing for years…Why don't you believe me?"

"Well, perhaps I'd believe you if…"

"If what?"

"If you told me twenty times…"

"Twenty?! Is that the going rate to get a gorgeous woman to believe you?"

"Yes. Twenty."

"Can I simply kiss you? I'll prove it. Words are so cheap...Anyone can tell a lie."

"Well…Twenty converts to about…four kisses, Mr. Weillschmidt."

"Four…I'll give you five. And you can even tell me where to place them."

"Oh, how kind of you! Alright. I'd like one on the forehead, one on each cheek, the tip of the nose, and then my lips."

No words where placed into the air. Instead, Gilbert came to a close proximity, and gently laid his careful mouth upon my forehead, both cheeks, the curve of my nose and finally, my own scarlet mounds.

Oh, it had been so long…

My hands rested upon his ears, drawing him in as my prey. Our jaws dropped and our tongues intermingled, becoming more than simply friendly.

How wonderful it was to have my darling once more. How many nights of longing had there been wanting this very mouth adhered so strongly to mine? It was easy to adore this man, and that very adoration was leaking from my eyes in small fragments.

As we fell apart from one another, our wells so inhabited with jewels mirroring one another's, my emeralds soaked in a mist of love forbidden by an entire world of protocol. As he always did, Gilbert took the pain from my cheeks and branded sweetness to my brow once again.

"Do you remember what I said, Eli?" His words were near malleable.

"I know…You're not allowed to make me cry twice in one day…I'm sorry Gilbert…I just love you, and it seems like I truly haven't gotten what I've wanted…It's so wonderful to finally have you here…I-" My voice shattered and more tears descended. "I'm sorry…" The tip of his creased sleeve collected more of my draining emotion. "I'm just being idiotic…"

"No, you're not…But please don't cry…because if you cry long enough I'll cry too…"

"No you won't." I laughed despite my state. "You don't cry about anything. Especially not about silly Hungarian women…"

"No, but perhaps about the silly Hungarian woman I love…"

I smiled, truly happy. These tears were composed only of a mere droplet of suffering, compared to an entire ocean of joy.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Eli."

When I had finally calmed my raging passions, I was again able to speak. "How was your trip here anyway?"

"Boring…and long. I thought I would actually arrive on time, for once…It's funny I ended up waiting so long."

Guilt was injected to my senses. "I'm sorry, Gilbert. I really should have brought food...You must be starving…"

"It's alright…I simply ate apples until you came and found me, so I'm really not all that hungry…Oh!" Memory brought him an urgent message. "My little brother wanted to say hello before I forget…"

"Ludwig? How is he?" There was a certain element of sunshine living comfortably within my tone. Gilbert had quite the endearing sibling.

"…Old."

"What do you mean old? The last time I saw him, he was holding onto your knee!"

"I know…He's too big…"

"Well, what constitutes as 'too big'? It hasn't been that long has it?"

"Here…" Fingers probed into a condensed pocket and produced a worn leather wallet, wrinkles deeply set into its flesh by time's well crooked hands. His digits paged through several sections, the creature's innards overflowing with folded memoirs and a very strict refusal to let anything to time. A folded bit of parchment was set before me almost as a secret, and carefully, I pried it from its position, showing an underbelly marred by the image of a small blond boy wearing an unhealthy grin, although its sad shape had yet to be exterminated. He was clothed in clean lederhosen and sat within a lush pocket of dandelions and few flowers. A freshly picked mushroom sat between his minute and near appreciative fingers.

"Oh, Gilbert…He's so sweet…And he's not too big. He's just the perfect size."

If I could have a child such as this, perhaps of the same growth and of good behavior, my core would be nothing but shimmering bliss. A little girl or boy…How wonderful.

"He's grown up…"

"He still looks like a boy."

"You should talk to him…Ludwig…isn't like other children. He's not affectionate, but it might be better that way…He's a tough kid…"

"You love him, don't you?"

An answer seemed too shy to speak of its own accord, but Gilbert reclaimed his photograph and exchanged it for another edition, also hidden in his tiny microcosm of memories. The folded recollection was placed before curious appendages.

"That's Ludwig when you saw him last…or at least at a similar time…"

My sight was drawn to an even smaller boy, sitting in the arms of the unchanged man before me, each face taken by a large and genuine grin. Glancing into his mirror, one could see why Ludwig had indeed grown far too old. As his body grew in strength, those grins composed of healthy joy slowly began to wither and die as phantoms.

"He has grown up…"

What a wonderful father Mr. Weillschmidt would be…He had already assumed paternal duties. Taking care of a tiny sibling when one is old enough to be a father could very well be the same thing. I had observed the relationship between Gilbert and Ludwig, and suspicions of lies were brought to my hungry curiosity.

"He's going to grow up to be wonderful…Perhaps this coldness is temporary…"

"Well, let's speak of something else before I begin to worry…"

"You didn't leave him alone, did you?"

"No, no…He has someone watching him." The joy trapped in a frozen mirror was returned to its true possessor, and I sat in silence as the bottom of his glass launched well into the air. He reached for the patient bottle.

"Are you going to get drunk?"

"No, just sleepy."

A sigh. "Oh, Gilbert…"

"Fine." The container's bare bottom sat upon its old home, and the pathetic measure of my crimson drink passed my tongue and left happiness to bask upon my taste buds. Oh, I'd miss my wine…

"Thank you, Darling."

Before I surrendered my worn form to sleep's demand, Gilbert lent me a kiss drenched in sugar. My stomach had become an odd plain, growing both nausea and bliss, tangled together as vines. Perhaps my womb was becoming an interesting mess, but my mood was positive. I resisted many attempts made by my palm to rest upon my developing seed.

"Goodnight, Gilbert."

"Goodnight, Eli."


	20. Chapter 20

As most mornings, my eyes opened to a raging sickness that came automatically to my state. What little I had actually ingested yesterday would certainly find a way out between my lips. In panicked anticipation, my feet moved as a steam boat upon a calm surface, the room having yet to spin and mar my reality.

My knees dropped to biting tiles, my stomach writhing and bile pushing itself upon my tongue. Saturated red ink poured into the bowl, the compound composed only of left over wine and what little saliva my body would allow. The concoction resembled the expected liquid of any war, but I didn't allow myself that paranoia…

I absolutely hated this. I hated performing this task as routine. The end result was so well loved, and so anticipated, but the steps stretching across a hateful staircase leading to my very destination were taxing. My body was devoid of energy from simple movement.

Tears once again found a way upon my blossoming apples, droplets kissing my lashes as gentle lovers trying to stop the production of any more brothers. They were the undesired result of a mixture of fury and sorrow.

"Eli…Are you alright?"A tired voice rose from the porthole, and a body inhabited the room sitting vacant at my side. It was a moment before shock registered. "Are you coughing up blood?" His voice was fairly even for being so concerned.

"…No." I answered. "No…That was the wine from last night…I'm…I'm just pregnant, Gilbert." What point would there be in lying? To give him possible clause to take me to the hospital so the doctor could offer the same knowledge? "It's like this in the mornings…"

The sharp reply I was expecting regarding Roderich shriveled within panicking stomach acid. "Really?" A silence that lived an eternity. "How far along are you?"

"About two months…"

A palm stole residence upon my furthermost shoulder blade while his sleeve, again, stole away the discharge draining from my eyes."Eli…"

"I'm sorry, Gilbert…You needn't be so kind to me…I know you're upset…"

"Of course I'm upset." His tone became as a scolding parent's. "…But not at you…"

And for the longest moment, I was held as a shining Emerald. My Prussian became so afraid of marring the surface, even the pads of his fingers were exceedingly aware of their positions.

"Please don't cry anymore...Every time I see you, you're crying…I have to believe it's my fault…" It was rare to find him utilizing such a pliable tone. I could break it within a loving grasp. "I'm not upset with you…This is in no way you fault…If you wanted to blame anyone, it's that idiot you're married to."

"Don't spew that sort of nonsense!"

The shock coded his fingers as a red-handed thief.

"I know you hate him, but Roderich is extremely good to me. He doesn't deserve that, and frankly, I'm growing tired of hearing it."

A sigh infected my ear. "You love him, don't you?" When no comply was brave enough to walk outside the safety of my lips, his words continued. "…I'm sorry…And I'm sorry you're upset…At the very least, he's good to you…I'd be even more furious if he wasn't."

"Gilbert…"

"Are you happy?"

"Happy with what?"

"Happy living there…"

"Yes…I suppose so. Roderich seems to be constantly busy, but he's kind…and he truly does try to keep me entertained." The raging sea's waters seemed to convert from frothy emotion to a calmer wave. "That's why he bought me this place…He was so concerned with my boredom at home, and he wanted to bring me happiness."

There were no syllables, angry or generous, slipping from his mouth's loose grasp.

"And I do love him…But I still love you as strongly as I ever have. You're mine, Gilbert Weillschmidt...I've adored you so long, there's no possibility I can stop…I've spent an entire year missing you, and…" My thoughts seemed to wither within a cold room rich with incoherency.

"...I suppose he isn't so awful…I simply can't stand him…" A moment was stolen to plant a kiss upon my cheek. "Thank you, Eli…I still love the hell out of you…" Another grace brimming with his obvious affection. "Did you that while you were away, Ludwig had a mustache? I forced him to shave it off before I came…"

"God, you're just awful!" We were both stricken with laughter, even though my eyes were serving their full duty as faucets. A playful reprimand was branded upon his chest.

"I'm sorry, Eli."

"It's alright…I've forgiven you."

"Thank you…I love you."

"I love you too."

Moments were born and died suddenly. "Elizaveta…"

"Oh…You're serious." The last remnants of my poor control were subtracted from my visage. "What is it, Gilbert?"

"Are you truly pregnant?"

"I know…" A bit of upset sat within my belly. "It's quite the bite to swallow…But I'm fairly certain…Does it make you unhappy?"

"…I'm unsure…I'm not _unhappy_...Perhaps just disappointed. But I've been disappointed an entire year…" A pause livid with audible contemplation. "I know I don't seem like the type of man to be a husband, but I wanted to marry you. Thanks to our positions, I couldn't, and now your last name is Edelstein." Through his seriousness came small laughter. "I would have gotten you pregnant long before now."

My face must have become a blossoming rose. "Gilbert, how many children would you want?"

"Six."

"Six? That seems so unachievable now that I'm experiencing it…"

"It does seem slightly greedy. Who needs so many children?" There was a crooked grin pressed upon my locks. "How about three?"

"Three? That doesn't seem so horrid…"

Silence robbed our conversation, and we were left simply to embrace one another. It had been a while since I was stricken with such confusion. Emotion might as well have become a cardinal component of my blood.

"Well…Now that you've told me you're pregnant, I'm going to obsess over you…be careful. I'm going to get breakfast for the both of us, so I'll return soon. Until then, please relax. Don't do anything like fall down that ridiculous flight of stairs…Don't go outside or move too quickly…Take three steps and then rest, to be safe. Make absolutely sure you don't sweat, not even _minimally_. And I'll be checking your forehead when I come back…Don't fool yourself into thinking you can simply wipe it away. Actually, I'll carry you…"

"Gilbert, I'll be just _fine_…Really."

A skeptical possessed his features, those rubies grasping at my heart and breaking cardinal pieces.

"Please don't look at me that way…Please, darling. I adore you, but I can watch myself a few moments while you're away. I swear to take three steps and rest, and I swear to you I _will not_ sweat, even if I become incredibly warm…"

"Two steps and I won't carry you."

"Fine. Two steps."

Our progress to my room was slow. Just as I had sworn, our feet moved twice, and then we stopped few seconds for rest. As our feet inhabited my chamber, I was swept from my heels and brought to my bed's ever beckoning grasp, submerged gently into a mountain of frothy and ruined silk. Cautious leather gloves touched my naked skin softly, wrists and forearms. My arms were crossed upon my stomach, and the painter of this masterpiece stepped back to admire his careful strokes.

"Are you comfortable, Eli?"

"Yes, Mr. Weillschmidt."

"Good. Promise me you won't move."

"Oh, Gilbert."

"Promise me."

My voice was full of evident frustration. "I promise you, I won't move. Please hurry back."

"I will. That _my_ part of this ridiculous bargain." His right eyelid hid my shining gem. "I love you, Eli."

"I love you too, you silly Prussian! Remove yourself from my home and bring me something to eat!"

"Insult me all you like. Just as long as I'm your favorite Prussian."

I waved him away as a pest, causing an accusing finger to fall upon my motioned digits.

"No moving! You made a promise!"

"I'm sorry. I won't. Beginning right now."

"Thank you. Good-bye, you silly Hungarian."

"Just as long as I'm your favorite Hungarian." I wished him good-bye in my older tongue, one I hadn't used in what had to be the duration of eternity filled with Germanic syllables and a lovely Austrian.

I was granted a smile before the door shielded my Darling from view.

Oh, they were so similar…and yet, they couldn't even be placed within the same chamber. Their woman was even the same, and she adored either option heartily. 

In my patience, my thoughts converted to soft dreams, incoherent fragments containing a loving Prussian shamelessly laying his lips upon my lonesome skin. He had no clothes, and each tightly knit muscle mirrored the version I had become familiar with.

How can blame be placed for curiosity? Any female, sinful or pure wonders such horrid quandaries. My husband's body was devoid of such strength, although he had enough charms to fill a barren room.

"Eli…"

And in my fantasy, a soft voice arose.

"Eli, I'm going to make you breakfast." My form was closely to another, arms supporting a slack figure at the shoulders and back. "Goddamn, you're cute."

"Hmm…Prove it…"

Amy forehead, either cheek, the curve of my nose, and my lips, and finally laughter with an embrace.

"I missed you…You're so warm. Lie next to me."

"No, darling. You have to eat. You hardly had anything yesterday."

"Oh, but I did…just not here…"

"Come on…"

"Gilbert…"

"Eli" His whine was in return to mine and included a kiss. "Come on…"

"Gilbert, I'm exhausted…"

"Well, I'm going to feed you so you won't be exhausted!"

"Gilbert!"

"What?!"

"Please love! All this yelling isn't any good for my condition…"

An exasperated sigh. "Eli…"

"Gilbert…" I mirrored his own frustration, laughing.

"…This woman…"

"I'm sorry, love. I'll get up."

"Thank you."

"But I want to make you breakfast. Honestly, what else are these hands good for? You've done enough for me, please…"

"Alright…You're a better cook anyway." A tinge of passion was placed by careful lips upon my cheek. "But that's all you're allowed to do."

"Well, I suppose I can live with that."

We arrived in at the kitchen's opening, and a heavy brown sac was placed within my hands, its borders overflowing with what seemed to be a combination of eggs, potatoes and few vegetables.

"Goodness! You can't live off of potatoes, can you?"

"There's eggs too…"

I studied him skeptically a moment, concluded my one-sided interrogation with a sigh. "Well…I suppose potatoes and eggs aren't won't make an awful meal…"

"Exactly, Eli! I'll take you somewhere nice for lunch, but for now, we'll have potatoes and eggs. Besides, they're healthy for you. They'll fill you to make up for yesterday."

"You needn't buy me anything more, Gilbert. My husband gave me quite a bit of spending money. I would feel off if I didn't use any of it…Although, I'd love to go out with you."

"Well, I'm not going to argue with that. Thank you, Elizaveta." Lips were assigned to guard my forehead.

As breakfast was put into production, My Prussian persisted to bother me with tinges of adoration and amusing anecdotes. It was as if we were wed and had a simpler life, where the woman actually made meals opposed to a legion of servants…It was unfortunate it was Roderich's seed flourishing in my once colorless garden. In few sunsets, I would be transported back to his grasp…

How sad it would be to abandon my sweet Prussian, my faux spouse…

Breakfast was served in the presence of comfortable silence, Gilbert and I exchanging opposing glances and loving touches.

"Eli…I think we should get married…"

"Married? Gilbert, I can't marry you. I already have a husband."

"Well, I know _that_."

"…Are you suggesting a fake wedding? I have no white besides this old night gown…Oh, Gilbert; you shouldn't even be allowed to view me this way. I must appear horrible…"

"Stop! You don't look horrible. You're gorgeous. And if it makes you feel better, I'll marry you in my undergarments."

My bottom lip was retracted in solid thought. "Well…Fine. But I want a ring."

"A ring? A ring…" With a few moments of contemplation, a large golden napkin ring was produced. "Elizaveta, will you be my bride for a few days?"

"Oh, Gilbert of course I will!" I took the shining circlet and slipped it around my thumb, pretending to be brought tears of overwhelming mirth. "This must be the happiest day of my life!"

"I know it is, darling! Go get ready! Our wedding is in an hour! I thought I would surprise you!"

"Oh, thank you! I adore surprises!" I kissed him upon the cheek and abandoned my spot. "Where is our wedding?"

"It's outside, Love!"

"I adore sunshine even more so than surprises!"

The rhetoric slipping so horridly from of mouths was that of the dialogue found in a poor romance novel. Each syllable was alive with forbidden laughter.

"Good-bye momentarily, my sweet Gilbert! I can't afford to be anything but punctual!"

The ruby-eyed Prussian took a moment for his laughter. "Yes, Eli! Quickly! Before the guests arrive!"

We exchanged a kiss as a quick good-bye, my toes gliding carefully upon the floorboards in boisterous joy shortly afterwards.

A make-shift engagement…He was so odd at times…But I had a certain love for this idea. What a comedian I had found.

I brushed through my ruined tresses, strands losing their unruliness through a web of bristles. I knew I had nothing elegant for my loving Gilbert, but it held not even a drop of pertinence. It was a faux wedding, and our shanty union would be nothing but a joke, and without even a concern of seriousness, we would be wed in our undergarments.

A single clip encrusted with a lonesome diamond hung to my tresses as a frightened child to its mother's knee. The sunlight touching me so gently with its fiery digits left flashes of gold to shine within my make-shift cascade, while my own fingers pinched my cheeks, causing them to flourish and illuminate my powder-barren visage. The stray sleep sitting comfortably within the corners of my eyes was banished, and I descended the risers as if there really were one thousand pairs of eyes taking in my very ceremony. My feet were bound with false heels, and my hair was held with jewels that took the clarity of apparitions.

As I came to the doors leading into my garden shimmering with healthy light, I stopped Gilbert several paces from my toes. He was dressed in clean white undergarments, fabric dressing only the lower portions of that fine body, leaving him those deeply knotted muscles and a handsome crooked grin.

He waved to me, and I was drawn from my place upon the floor, coming to him as a powerful magnet to steal.

Our wedding was silent compared to the original in Austria, but to my own heart it was so much more preferable. Finally, I was truly my own, tresses undone and my body clothed in a shabby gown. There were no faces to tell gorgeous lies to, and no voices creating nervous jolts all throughout my blood. No happiness to falsify…No one to disappoint. No nation to destroy lying as a paper bird within my clumsy hands.

We stood within a small flat of lively grass, its green vibrant and happy dandelions taking residence within its wild fingers. Our hands took root within one another's and finally, communication came.

"You look beautiful, Elizaveta."

"Thank you Gilbert…I'm enjoying your outfit. It's very original."

A kiss prepared for either deepening apple. "Are you ready?"

"Yes. I suppose so."

"Eli, do you take-"

"Goodness! That's not how it begins!"

"Well, how does it?"

"Say you vows!"

"Vows?"

"Yes, Darling. Wedding vows."

"Eli, I'm no good at that poetic nonsense. Isn't the fact that I adore you enough?"

"No, Mr. Weillschmidt. I'm afraid not. Just try."

A deep sigh. "Well…" I could feel the burn of his frame within the center of my palm, just as affected by this shy fire. "As much as I truly do love you, anyone can lie. Words are cheap. Please, allow me to prove it." With little warning, he took my face in between loving hands and laid his affection upon my forehead, either cheek, the very curve of my nose, and at the climax, my lips, that embrace being the gentlest and most adoring of all.

"Now Eli, why don't you say your vows?"

Simply, I stole my Prussian's lips, dragging him closer as our mouths slammed against one another's, our tongues curling together as if having a passionate conversation. When our faces fell from their ensemble, we stared and we smiled, as widely as we ever have.

"Gilbert, do you take Elizaveta Héderváry as your loyal and loving wife?"

"Of course I do! And Eli, do you take the handsome and sometimes hot-headed Gilbert Weillschmidt as your faithful and adoring husband?"

"Yes! I do! You may kiss the bride."

A simple touch, and our feet propelled us to shelter with our arms connected at the elbows.


	21. Chapter 21

The morning of my departure, I was arranged in a comfortable knot with my darling on duty as my blanket. The sun had yet to truly awaken, its body still shy behind a high and rolling emerald hill. Yet, its light began to devour the sky, converting blackness to gorgeous fire. The clouds were dyed the same shade of blush.

The Prussian wrapped around me had been subdued by heavy dreams, each thought possessive and causing little German noises to sit sweetly within my ear. They represented no meaning; they were created only for a bit of amusement.

Gilbert hadn't come to bed with me. My heart decided to ache horridly of pain in the middle of the night, and Gilbert came as my savior to wipe those cruel emotions from my dampened eyes with a pure handkerchief.

A small sigh was launched from my throat. Another set of excruciating weeks would be well paid before I would ever begin to even fathom my tangible secret. I adored this man, horrid passions reawakened by his simple presence. My heart bled every time I desired him and his company was well lost in Prussia.

In my lonesomeness, I absorbed him with starving limbs and pressed my hungry lips to any available skin, all my senses becoming numbed and vivid all at the same time. I wanted my nerves to scream instead of lie as bags of limp sand.

"Hmm…" The sleeping man stirred. "Eli, what are you doing?"

"I'm kissing you…I'm leaving in a few hours…"

He smiled through our connected orifices, and our lips dropped as hands slid sweetly against opposite shoulder blades. His palms progressed past my curves, leaving a loud trail upon my needy skin and freezing upon a slight hill.

Something animalistic came rushing as an angry tidal wave to my body and possessed me as a malevolent phantom. I _wanted_ him…It wasn't an often occurrence. The last time this necessity ravaged my body, I was unknowing to the advances of men, and now desire was acid upon my lap, burning urgency upon my thighs.

Gilbert seemed to possess this very urge that wrought havoc upon my blood, causing it boil.

Our tongues pressed their tips together and then brushed past one another's. My fingers ran against his shoulders, bringing him near while our kiss became inflamed with intensity.

"I love you…" Our voices were only used temporarily before they were muffled under a heavy snow of desire.

"I love you too…"

Lust was coursing through my body as a typhoon devouring an entire continent. Our knees brushed, our fingers connected, and our mouths spoke through motion.

How far would this truly go…?

A snake, Gilbert's hand found a way into my nightgown as if creating a tunnel under a thin layer of earth. His palm sat against my waist, as if inquiring if this was indeed acceptable for residence to be taken there.

A negative reaction was never even given an opportunity for life.

As our tongues continued their passionate dance, I became encoded in thick pleasure. I could feel the blood running quickly as an enraged river and intoxicated my veins as potent wine. I was becoming aroused.

His fingers slowly rose along my body, so calmly capturing flesh as an eager hostage. The space between our lips grew, my head dropping upon the pillow as Gilbert worked upon the nightgown draped so carelessly around my figure. It slid across my stomach and breasts, lastly tugging sweetly upon my tresses, biding me thoughtless adieu.

"Oh, Gilbert…"

A moment of stillness was born as my darling's rubies slid sensually over my bare skin, and I simply lied there as a statue sculpted for that very purpose. Our gazes connected for only a moment as another kiss progressed with richly flavored affection.

For the longest time, I had wanted this. My mind screamed violent curiosity. Marriage had offered me so many answers, but some were left starving for response. The type of inquiry only a certain Prussian could fill.

A mouth pressed to my neck, a silky organ falling against my flesh and drawing a considerate line of saliva.

"Ah…" My fingers searched through his snow-white strands, and I dragged his warmth to my desperate form.

"Eli…"

Was this truly occurring?

_Truly? _

A set of kind touches became still at my breast two rosy mounds taking my nipple while a hand manipulated the other.

"No, no! Stop…"

I couldn't throw this knife into Roderich's vulnerable back. Despite my near overbearing adoration for Gilbert, I wore a golden band around my finger. It bound me to each and every commitment I had made upon the alter almost an entire year previously.

"…Please…I-please stop."

Gilbert's eyes came to me, softly. "I'm sorry, Eli. I lost my mind a moment." The vacant sheets at my side became full, his body inhabiting them greedily and heavily, as if I had eaten away his savage energy with those few words. My attention was drawn to the bit of stone sitting between his legs. "I've just…I've loved you so long." His statements drowned in the unforgiving tides of incoherency.

"…I know Gilbert…" My vision was held behind peach curtains and the chamber wrapped tightly around us seemed to simply disintegrate. "…I'm sorry."

My Prussian stole a hold of my fingers, our digits twining together in their sorrow as shining golden laces in a well so lost within blackness.

"I am too…" A moment of rigid peace came and died between our palms. "I'm going to smoke a cigarette…I'll come back in a few minutes."

"Alright…Good-bye, Gilbert…"

And I was left to wither in a suffocating veil of emotional blunder.

In my confusion and deceased passion, I was lulled back to sleep, and eventually covered by a sheet, but not of my own accord. My hands were fatigued, and my energy was devoid.

"Thank you."

A kiss pressed against my cheek. "…Eli, I have to go soon."

"Please don't…It's so lonesome here without you." My eyes opened to his lovely face in moderate proximity to mine. "I'll cry…I love you so…"

"Please don't cry, Eli…You'll see me again…and I can't stand seeing you so upset anymore…I promise, we'll meet again. I'll send you another letter, and we can arrange another meeting." Another touch coded in the sweetest sugar. "You're so lovely…" His hand left a kind trail upon the frame of my complex visage. I was admired as a painting weighted down by so many complexities.

"I love you, Gilbert…It breaks my heart absolutely that our time together was so short…You have no idea how much I've missed you."

"…I know." Another long embrace of the mouth. "I've missed you too…But I'll see you again. I'm sorry I have to leave you…I love you."

"I love you too…"

"Good-bye."

"Good-bye Mr. Weillschmidt."

A kiss, a tear, and a lonesome nude woman covered only by a silken sheet and her own thick coding of raging confusion.

When my carriage came to collect me, I was in my solitude aside from the few bits of conversation forced upon me by the driver. He boarded my things as my loving and cautious husband had instructed. My heart was battered enough to imply step inside the carriage without as much as a thought.

As the wheels progressed throughout the streets of Austria, tears marred my vision and left me a blind and destitute woman. I lie limp against the many cushions assigned by Roderich. I was abandoned within a forest overgrown by emotion, the trees all varying. Their colors were full, vibrant…How each color captivated me and caused an intoxicated vessel to become a well drowning in its own water.

My decisions took greedy tastes of sanity. I should have never even allowed my Prussian so much as a touch…not even a glance, and yet he had felt my breasts and experienced my curves without their assumed flesh.

And that poor husband of mine… That husband who had devoted so much of his love to me…The same man who had no qualms of allowing me freedom when he was trapped within a demanding chamber, no matter the level of fairness truly being applied. The same god who had impregnated me and caused my sickness every morning…Yes…Him.

My own situation brought me unbearable fury. All my time was given to that Prussian, despite the knowledge that I might never be his bride. Now, I was property to a man I did allow my adorations to adhere to, and yet I was cursed with the inability to let Gilbert alone. So many years were thrown away, loving him…and I was fighting two definite sides, each one tearing my body into pieces and searing me with their fiery words while ripping upon my limbs with even more savagery. The marks left by their cleavers were filthy, unfinished…Not matter how deep the incision, flesh remained.

I sobbed from my obsession, from the furry writhing within my veins and the sorrow creating nonsense from what little sanity it had devoured in greed. Finally, when my energies were expended, I slept.

"Yes, yes. Please bring them inside…Darling?"

My eyes opened to a sky drenched in twilight and a man kissed by crimson fabrics. He wore the perfect face I saw nearly every sunrise and sunset and those glasses that were nothing but an anomaly. What godly figure kept poor sight?

"Hello Elizaveta…" I was held as soon as my feet grounded the dirt to furious dust. "You're home…"

"Hello Roderich…" Emotions were shattering my horrid ruse of excitement. "I've missed you…"

"…Elizaveta, is there something wrong?" His syllables turned to whispers. "…Did you miscarry?"

"No, no…Everything is still intact…That's just fine…For some reason, I feel so…dejected. I adore you…This upset isn't from seeing you again…I think it's simply from this pregnancy and having to travel for such a long time…"

Love him, you stupid woman.

"I'm sorry Roderich. It's so nice to be back…I shouldn't feel such ridiculous things…I missed embracing you…"

"My poor Elizaveta…I missed you too…It was so odd without you here to brighten my day…" He rested his chin upon my crown in nothing but electrifying affection. "Why don't you take a nice long bath? I'm certain you'll feel better…and when you're out, we can have a delicious dinner, and perhaps you'll allow me to smother you in kisses. I missed bothering you with my love…"

"…Roderich…You look fantastic in red…"

"Oh, you noticed…" There was a gorgeous tinge of his laughter. "I forgot I owned this outfit…I thought you might like to see me in something besides my usual colors…"

I simply held him close, my throat waging war with the droplets bubbling against my lashes. "Please wear it more often…"

He could feel my upset and avoided speaking any words that would cause my battle to be lost. "…Come along, Elizaveta…I'll draw you a bath."

As the water lapped upon the rims, Roderich left me with several adoring touches and a single embrace. And I was abandoned to my own eye, tears marring my vision as the warmth of the tub ate me alive. My head utilized the bucket's lips as a pillow, and all my rage left me a broken vase of porcelain. Dismay and dejection gripped me and shook, their hands a noose around my neck, but never aggressively enough to actually end my deceit.

Why weren't they stronger? I wasn't worthy of opportunities. They would all be overstuffed with noisome lies.


	22. Chapter 22

I was both shocked and relieved my husband didn't gain knowledge of my mild affair with Gilbert. So much of my energy bled out with wild determination to hide that awful guilt behind a smiling mask. Roderich may have attributed any upset he witnessed to the seed growing within my womb and breaking the ground as it had.

I took notice to Roderich's attendance during the mornings. Nearly every day, I would wake to his presence taking mine into a loving and careful embrace. His hands were often sitting upon my middle as if holding something of incredible value, a fragile jewel that could not be scratched.

"Goodness, love…Aren't you always complaining of having something to do?"

"Of course, but I'm beginning to enjoy…Oh, what was it you called it? Procrastination? Yes, I believe that was the word."

My back arched, coming into a closer proximity to my loving man as hands shared space with his. "You're excited, aren't you? You've been so incredibly perky lately…Even that hair of yours has an air of happiness…"

A strongly flavored kiss that caused a heavy shiver. "Yes…I've never really had this opportunity in the past…"

"Why not?"

"Well…" His answer seemed to take a time to compose, as a well composed orchestra. "Most of my marriages were for only business. There were few happy moments…And when you're trapped within an office at almost all hours and you have a wife who practically detests you…Well, It's not so hard to put pieces into place…"

"I'm sorry, love…" I fastened his hands intensely to my center. "Well, I simply adore you…I know our marriage was for our countries, but my feelings are still the same."

"Thank you, Elizaveta…I love you."

"I love you too, Roderich. I'm glad we're wed…" Lids discontinued my vision in a way of peace. It was easy to become butter against his generous warmth. "I honestly don't know how anyone could hate you…I can count your faults on one of my hands…and I wouldn't even utilize all of my fingers."

"Oh, Darling, if that's the case, you must not be paying close attention…"

"But I am! You're simply too modest. And you're so sweet…"

Affection found descent skin to burn upon the nape of my neck. With every kiss, my body was cremated. "Love, have you thought of any names yet?"

"No…Not too seriously…Have you?"

"Well…" Oh, he was excited as a small dog to the return of its keeper. How enthusiastic this man was. "I was thinking that perhaps for a girl, Maria Thérèse-"

Laughter came as a welcomed surprise.

"What's so funny about that?"

"You're just so _Austrian_!"

"Well, yes dear. I _am_ Austrian."

"My apologies. That's a fine name. How about a boy?"

"I don't think I want to tell you anymore."

"Oh, please do, Roderich. I'm sorry. I'll behave."

"Will you? Do you promise?"

"Yes, yes. With all my heart. Now please tell me."

"For a boy…" Roderich waited a moment to test my truce. "…Franz…"

"Franz?!" Again, I was taken as a victim to my own amusement. "Oh my goodness! What are you going to wear today, darling? Lederhosen?"

As Roderich pulled from me, I held his arms in place with bordering desperation.

"No, no, no…Please don't leave me…" But my husband managed an ill-fought escape.

"No, Elizaveta. I should begin getting dressed…I've spent enough time procrastinating, as much as I love to be ridiculed. Perhaps if I hurry, I'll have enough time to put on Lederhosen and eat strudel."

"Roderich, please don't be upset…I'm sorry. I won't poke fun at you any longer. I miss you severely already, and I'll eat strudel with you! I might as well be Austrian; I've been here such a long time. I'll even wear a good pair of lederhosen. I _love_ Lederhosen. And I adore strudel even more strongly! I'm certain I love strudel even more than you do!"

"But how can you? I'm Austrian. And all Austrians wear lederhosen and eat strudel all day long. No one loves strudel more than Austrians, and especially not me."

"Roderich, I'm so Austrian, I would love to name my first child Maria Thérèse or Franz. If this baby was a boy, I'd make his middle name Joseph, and I think they're the most beautiful names I've ever heard. Now please, don't be upset…I was simply playing foolish games."

"Thank you, darling…Now you've actually put me in the mood for strudel…Well…" The worn white fabric came from his body as a snake would shed its unwanted skin. His limbs slipped through garments and before I could admire his body, it was well clothed. "Regardless, I should be getting to that damn office…"

"Thank you, Roderich. Perhaps later you'll allow me to rub your back, or possibly your feet. If you'll remove those horrid socks…"

"Not a chance, my love. But I'd enjoy a back rub…Perhaps I can message your feet. I should do so anyway…"

My nerves were alive and thriving with pure joy. "Why don't you come back a moment? Just long enough for me to smoother you in kisses."

"Certainly."

I was left to my own attention and amusement, inhabiting a large and nearly barren room. It was so lonesome here without that pretty man to keep me company. Everything fell silent as it would in ghost town; so very mute…

A sigh and a pat of acknowledgement to my developing stomach. "Come along, little one…Why don't you grow a little faster for your dear mother? She's so very bored without you here to give her sunshine."

There wasn't any response from the little growth dormant within my inner walls, and not willing to wait for one, I moved from the bed's tyrannical grip, warmed sweetly by our love. My night gown fell around me as loose flesh, both no longer desirable and an indication of a human so occupied with nothing. I tore it from my true form, tossing it upon the floor as if making an obnoxious artist statement.

Perhaps my husband would enjoy a treat of strudel. As ridiculous as those little spats could be, sometimes they provided small doses of inspiration.

As my fingers paged through our wardrobe as if it were an important file, and in desperation for some form of enjoyment, they kissed gently a pair of lederhosen pressing persistently against my own silks.

"Oh my goodness!"

Their new residence became my touch, and a smile shined upon my lips as a shimmering star within a night overrun with putrid darkness.

No, no, no…

I couldn't…

There's no way I possibly…

But…what was there to hold me back?

I had the requirements, a figure with both sets of well intact arms and legs, and enough fingers to maneuver a garment onto my own frame.

"Oh, Roderich…I wasn't aware you owned a pair."

Yes, yes…I would earn my amusement by making my darling a fantastic desert with a fine cup of steaming tea or perhaps even fresh milk. There was no doubt devouring my determination, and I was certain that he would be entertained, regardless of the charge of his reaction.

I dressed my body carefully, never having acquired such an inappropriate outfit. How entertaining Germanic people were, with their sharp syllables and amusing culture. Sometimes, I missed my sunny little cottage in that emerald stained field…But my sorrows were becoming difficult keep sakes now that I had grown so accustomed to this life wrapped so lavishly in gorgeous silk. Cottons now held the properties of a sharp bite, and my flesh was sensitive as the petals of a pretty marigold. I had been submerged to a dream world of handsome princes, contrasting as the moon and sun, and with a realm so saturated in beauty, homesickness was nothing but simple greed.

I could only laugh at that strange woman absorbing the mirror. Oh goodness, what a horrid transvestite she made. Her husband would scold her heavily for showing her legs in such an outgoing manner.

The Austrian-Hungarian. What a funny creature she was.

The first witnesses to my odd statement were the lovely women kept shut up within the kitchen. As soon as my presence was made, attentions came to my strangely clothed figure as powerful magnets to thick steel. Progress simply dropped upon the floor with those full bowls, and shattered as minute fragments at my curling toes.

"…Mrs.…Edelstein? Would that be you standing there or am I simply hallucinating?"

"Oh why yes…It is me, or at least it was the last time I checked."

"Did Master Edelstein lend you that garment?"

"Well, I believe so. I borrowed it without words. How is that?"

"Oh the poor darling is off her nut…" A whisper came and similar comments were born and died in near solitude, excluding the witnesses of few other ears. It was a shame my concerns fell to a fatal comma the moment this fabric clothed my body.

"I most certainly am not off my nut! However, I came to prepare a dish for that dear 'Master Edelstein.'"

"But…Mrs. Edelstein…"

"Please, speak freely. I'm so bored of this formality, and if you like, you may call me Elizaveta."

"Well…" She seemed to study me a moment with a smile hidden by her subordination. "You have an entire kitchen of very capable cooks. Why in the world would you ever want to make anything yourself?"

"Because…Isn't there something endearing about preparing a meal for your dear husband? I'm living a fascinating life of utter boredom. Please, allow me to borrow your facilities an hour or so."

"Of course Mrs. Elizaveta…What did you plan on making?"

"Apple strudel."

Pretty joy from each attendant. "Well, you're certainly wearing the correct attire. I'll bring a cook book."

"Thank you."

Luckily my skills at the oven weren't absorbed by time and a prodigal home. I had yet to create such a recipe, and luckily, the process wasn't all too taxing.

Also, it was a tremendous help to have do many experienced bakers at my side, giving me instructions whenever I beckoned for their assistance. They were not only wondrous teachers but lovely conversationalists, and my time spent in that warm kitchen was occupied by several amusing dialogues and joyous anticipation for my dish to be finished with its timely incubation.

I was struck with pride when my fattening little pastries were placed amongst cooler air. They were fantastic, perfectly browned and the scent rising form them fragrant as well as tempting. If only their fevers would pass quickly. I wanted nothing but to test them.

When all of their painful heat had left them and soft warmth sat within their healthy bodies, I placed my strudel upon a spotless white dish for my dear man, bringing with me a glass of sweet milk. What would be his reaction to this odd woman with her decadent offering?

My feet brought me on a voyage of a savage heart, each section a separate hallway. Despite our time accumulated together, his tongue had never held _my_ cooking. I was anxious for a good word.

Hardly any patience was mustered before I met with his office door, so intimidating and forbidden as an important secret only few ears were meant to be familiar with. Gently, my free hand provided an interruption, and my voice added to my position.

"Roderich?"

"Yes, Elizaveta?"

"May I come in?"

"Of course…"

Softly, the frame was separated from the heavy plank and I entered with my porcelain wears and unexpected appearance.

At first, I was not acknowledged, however as a bit of my rich color affected his senses, Roderich looked up.

"Oh my goodness, Elizaveta! What in the _hell_ are you wearing?!" No fragment of anger stole his voice from me, but plenty of shock had its easy way.

"Oh, it's nothing, Darling. Just something I found." The plate was placed before him as a type of offering.

"Please, dear! At least cover your legs! Oh, I can see your thighs! Have you lost your mind?" His chair became lonesome as did his chest as he removed his blouse and secured it without hesitation to my waist. His entire being exhibited a sigh.

"Roderich, there's no need to be in such an upset…"

"Elizaveta, please change your clothing…Women aren't supposed to wear such things. Have you gone outside?"

"No, I haven't…"

"Thank you for that much, _at least_."

"I'm sorry…I thought you would be amused…"

"Well, I can't say that…" His palms sank upon my shoulders as if trying to transfer some of his never ending stress to my being. Gorgeous sapphires melded with my emeralds a while and a tinge of ill feeling sat upon my spine. "Oh Elizaveta…What am I to do with you?"

"Well, perhaps nothing with me, but at least have a bite of that strudel…"

"Darling-"

"No, please. I'll go and change. I simply want you to sample it…"

"You make it sound like you made it yourself…"

"I did."

"You did? I didn't know you could cook."

"And you still don't. Please, just try a bite. Perhaps it will relieve this unhappiness."

"I'm sorry, Elizaveta. It's shocking to find your wife in men's clothing with her bare and beautiful legs exposed. Any pair of wondering eyes can find you, and I'm so greedy, I want you all to myself. I don't do well at all with sharing, especially my gorgeous jewel…"

"Oh darling…" Part of my disappointment lifted, yet some part remained to crush me.

My husband turned and tore a bit of strudel from its corpse with a savage fork, allowing each point to stab at the decapitated bit, and slowly brought it to his mouth. Each movement of his jaw required what could have been the entirety of an hour.

"Hmm…This is fantastic…"

"Thank you…" My tone was still a sieve that held a rigid boulder of disappointment. I was happy that he enjoyed my desert, but I was still affected by a bitter taste sitting livid within my mouth.

"Elizaveta, please don't sound so dejected…It's not good for your condition. You may wear my lederhosen, but please, cover those pretty legs. You can borrow a pair of my trousers to do so, but I can't have anyone looking at my woman. I worry because you're simply so beautiful." The porcelain retook its oaken residence, and the flavor still warm upon it transferred to my own lips.

"Mmm…"

"Thank you for the strudel, love…But I really must get back to work. It was kind of you to wake me."

"I love you, Roderich."

"Darling, if you truly loved me, you'd wear trousers."

"Well, whatever it takes. I'll prove my adoration to you. I'll wear trousers."

"Thank you."

Our lips came into union gently, and my nerves were intoxicated from love stronger than opium, something I only had with that dear Prussian…

"I love you, Elizaveta…"

"I love you too, Roderich…"


	23. Chapter 23

A sharp and bitter pain sat within my womb, and for a moment, I simply lied limp within a web of sheets, eyes closed and fighting the sunny morning light. A moan was birthed from my parched lips.

"Elizaveta, are you alright?"

"No…I've been feeling so cramped up all morning…" A hand of my darling's slid past the frame of my face and left a trail of blush enflamed with love.

"My poor dear…I'll spend today with you. I don't have to work, if that makes you feel any better…"

"Thank you, Roderich…I'm sorry I have to feel so awful on a day you're off…I would have loved to go out with you."

"It's alright, Elizaveta. You didn't wish this upon yourself…Can I bring you anything? Perhaps a glass of tea and something to eat?"

"No thank you…But I'd like it very much if you lied next to me…"

"That I can do…"

The covers were lifted from my lonesome frame still coded in pretty silk, and held in the air a moment as my husband's eyes filled with horrid consternation, and his mouth was robbed of its usual smooth speech. A bright and mocking pool of blood sat in between my thighs and had smeared its paintbrush upon the sheet. My palm secured a scream. The essence polluting my once pure nightgown was not in a small quantity.

Oh god…

_No… _

I rose as a hurried moth, despite the pain coursing even more strongly through my tired nerves. The door leading outside seemed so far from my feet, and with each drunken moment, its handles, now taunting, kept running faster from my grasp. I was caught by my husband in my indecisiveness who held me, trying to keep me from being thrown to the marble by gravity's unforgiving hold.

"Elizaveta…"

Our knowledge was equal of what exactly was occurring, but we had yet to accept it or even consider its pertinence.

"No, no…Don't hold me, please. I need to get to the restroom…"

I was freed, my feet rushing upon the gorgeous floor I was marring with my very child. My gown was still bloodied, and I prayed no one would bear witness.

One of the longest distances taken yet was completed, and the door was closed behind me as my bottom sank to a cool and insentient floor. In my pain, I leaned upon the wall, looking at the ceiling, wanting the sky and god to come tell me that it was just a horrid trick, placed to test my affections for this growing and dying life. But I knew no savior would arrive, and thus my will bled. My focus was moved to my lower half, palms sitting heavily on brows in churning upset. Life was draining from me and shriveling upon those cold tiles, staring at me and begging for the same help I wouldn't have in my favor.

Rage came to me as an angry tidal wave. This was wrong. This was nothing but wrong. I wanted to thrash my limbs upon each corner of this room until everything was destroyed. I wanted broken tiles and broken bones and a broken fate that allowed this sort of cruelty to even take place. But despite this growing temper and this desire for destruction, I remained still, the essence of two spilling upon the floor and leaving me to exhaust.

Softly, the door spoke. "Elizaveta…Are you here?"

"Yes Roderich…" Voice shook my very premise.

My husband came inside and silently shut the portal to that lovely world and accepted mine, His panic enough to make near aphasia. He was trying so vigorously to remain calm.

"…Do you want me to take you to the doctor's? You're really bleeding…"

"No, darling…" I removed the precipitation swirling within my vision. "No…I'd simply like to be alone now…I would truly break if I had to look at your gorgeous face and think of everything we could have had…"

"Alright, Elizaveta…I understand…" His words were just as shaken as mine, either of our thoughts affected by raging earthquakes. "I'll return to check on you…please call if you need me…"

"I will…Thank you."

And so, I watched the blood dry upon my thighs and forever mar this blouse with memories entwined with pain to their very compositions. Tears came, as well as my child, although neither were ready.

When the crimson finally stopped, and my ill made creation sat in the mote before my gate, I simply stood, a broken version of myself and removed my night gown. That once bright stain had become dull and so very dead… I couldn't face the world. Not even if this frame was clean.

How cruel this garden of mine was…Rejecting something I had wanted and tended to for what felt like eternity. Leaves had turned to unforgiving and unmerciful thorns, and what little life there was crushed between aggressive palms. My womb must have been ignorant to my duties as a wife. What an idiotic necessity.

"Elizaveta…"

In my filth, I had submerged myself in a steaming vat. Hours could have easily passed, and I soaked in a container of soiled emotions as well as comforting water.

"Are you still here?"

"Yes…"

Our hopes so filled with enthusiasm were murdered and we were left as unresponsive shells.

"Please come in Roderich…"

Again, the door opened and shut in silence, my husband allowing no opportunity for an undeserving servant to view this battlefield of a war lost.

My husband's gaze was directed to the dried remains of blood left carelessly upon the floor.

"Oh, darling…" His palm secured his mouth. "I'm sorry, I-"

"No…Don't speak…please. Just come close to me…No…that blood means nothing. I'll clean it before I leave this room." My heart was severed, and tears shattered a numb visage, feeling coursing again as that dirtied crimson once had. "I'm sorry, Roderich…"

There were no words willing to leave the sanctuary of his throat. Instead, he kneeled at the side of the tub and laid a kiss upon my cheek.

"Elizaveta…" His face was barren of any hues and his eyes once so gorgeous and bright were only portions of themselves, worn and so beaten by exhaustion. He had been weeping, just as I had.

I straightened my posture, coming to a sitting position to be even with my husband and the father of that broken seed. Before I was even adjusted in my new place, arms stole me, and again I cried.

"What the hell went Wrong, Roderich? Everything was going so well…"

"I don't know…" And he was struck with the same type of blindness. "I'm so sorry, Elizaveta…"

"I am too…" I tried to take the crystalline commotion from his eyes but only placed more liquid upon his cheek. "I'm sorry your day away from work was ruined…and I'm so sorry our little family was destroyed."

And simply, we held one another, loss searing from either of our eyes.

When I returned to bed that night, a new set of sheets inhabited the place where old evidence once sat, and my husband stood by their side, a bouquet of thriving roses in his hands, which imitated the same shade of blush. Immediately, I threw my body into his arms, smothering them, and slamming my lips upon his in an upset passion.

How fate seemed to detest me. How this body even detested me, betraying me so many times with want and horrid disappointment.

"I love you Roderich…I'm so sorry…"

"It's alright, Elizaveta…We can try again…"

"Thank you, love…I'm glad you're my husband…You're so kind. This shouldn't have happened…"

My mouth was shut with a kiss. "No, it shouldn't have…But we'll try again…" I was trapped in a net constructed of only emotion and some sort of wounded love. I wondered if I would cry from not only my raw feeling but his. "I love you, Elizaveta…"

"I love you too…"

And that night sweet delusion that once seasoned my dreams refused to comfort me. Sleep took me silently and was devoid of light. There was only a bitter sense of hopelessness.


	24. Chapter 24

Two weeks past from that horrid day drenched in blood, and depression still loomed over me, eating me alive with savage teeth. My hopes had been kept safe on high and white clouds. I hadn't anticipated rain and their glass containers to shatter.

In my mundane existence, I found a spot at the dinner table, gently prodding an unmemorable dish with the prongs of my fork.

"Elizaveta, please don't be so sad…It's understandable why you're upset. But darling, we're both fairly healthy and we're very capable of creating another…Please, it's not over yet…My heart is breaking having to watch you this way…"

"…Are you even upset, Roderich?" My voice came out a corpse without a tinge of life. "You seem so unaffected…"

"Well, of course I'm upset. My unborn child is dead-"

"Don't say that! Not in those terms!"

A long release of air from his exasperated chest. "Like it or not, that's what happened, and I don't want to sulk. It's painful and I absolutely hate what we lost, but darling, depression isn't going to change a thing. We're able to try again…"

"Tell me Roderich, are you relieved?"

"_Relieved_?" His tone was a hybrid between hostile and indignant.

"Yes. Relieved."

"How exactly am I supposed to answer that question, Elizaveta?"

"Honestly."

"Honestly? Well…Yes. Partially. No, no. Don't look at me that way. I'm answering you truthfully." A moment evaporated while thoughts placed themselves in order. "I was happy about my partial fatherhood. Don't mistake that for even a moment…But it's terrifying. Here, you're growing an entire life that I might be too busy to take of adequately, and quite possibly ruin. I can barely entertain you. How much attention would a child need? Quite a bit more than a lovely woman…And children need to be taught, not only entertained…There are times I wonder if I was even instructed correctly."

An endurance of uncomfortable silence.

"Elizaveta, you know how I panic. I panic over small and truly insignificant things. How do you think I faired with this? In the worst possible way, I am relieved. I'm relieved that I won't lead a little and trusting life completely astray, and I'm relieved that same life won't detest me for doing so…Of course, I was ecstatic that I could have a chance to teach someone music and watch them grow into something fantastic…but so many emotions were coming so quickly, it was impossible to decide what I really felt…"

There was nothing I wanted to express.

"Well…That's the truth. I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted it be, Elizaveta…Excuse me. I've finished with dinner."

As Roderich left me, immeasurable upset inhabited my innards, yet the reason why was impossible to attain. What he had said was completely logical. Moments of fear submerged me in a large and angry sea of doubt as well. But the fact that he was relieved still set my heart a flame. Perhaps he was freed of worry, but to be _relieved_… How could the loss of such a gorgeous life, still so small offer any brand of relief?

Palms pressed upon my brow.

My dinner was finished as well.

Instead of returning to our bedroom, I located the key to Roderich's secret chamber (which was hidden so conveniently within his desk drawer) and stole my rest upon that welcoming sofa. I was here the first the first few hours of my marriage…How decrepit it had become of life, all its gorgeous and gentle hues bleeding from its features in night's potent and intoxicating blackness.

My head pressed against the pillow, and I thought of my own shattered feelings. I wasn't hurt because I was truly upset with Roderich. He grew tired of my depression, and I let him be. Of course, how could I even attempt to weigh him down with blame? My nerves were fraying as old fabric against ripping fingertips.

It wasn't long before sleep adopted me into its gentle arms, blessing me with incoherent dreams and broken thoughts. I was intoxicated, and as a drug, I overdosed.

"Elizaveta, what are you doing here?"

My lids peeled from my vision to reveal a room bathing in near afternoon light. A pretty man stood before me, a tired expression turning his visage.

"Why didn't you come to bed? Had I upset you that much?"

"No…No, Roderich…I simply didn't want to bother any longer, so I came here…" My words seemed to shrivel a moment then gained back their blood. "Would you like to get drunk?"

"No. I don't."

"Then may I go to Vienna and get drunk?"

"Elizaveta…"

"…I want to escape here…by means of intoxication or carriage…you can decide for me, I really don't care…"

"Intoxication won't solve your problems. Haven't you been sick enough?"

"Carriage it is…"

"Elizaveta, stop your moping!"

"No…How can you understand? You didn't throw up every morning for nothing, did you? You were too busy obsessing over your fears and now this new pain of mine serves as your relief…"

"Fine. Go." His answer cut to the bone, his noise slightly shaking. "I'm growing sick of you and this irrational pessimism." A satchel was torn with little care from his pocket and thrown to me, my arms unresponsive. The pouch bit me upon my belly button and I refused to let the burn mar my numb features. "Don't return until you tuck each and every sorry away in your empty bottles."

"…I never wanted to marry you in the first place, Roderich."

The silence extending before the relentless storm was immense…Yet, Now that I can place my memory upon it, the span was likely only a few quick moments. Even in my hateful state of mind, I wanted to pull those words back upon my tongue; unfortunately, no words ever come with string. Invisible fingers grasped for them in sickening desperation, as one tries to catch an unruly feather drifting about the air.

My harsh statement was devoured by his ears and there simply had to be a foul taste festering with his mouth, bitter as strong poison and just as fatal.

"You're disgusting. You know that, don't you? You're absolutely fetid. You have nothing better to do all day than sob and numerate each and every little regret so you'll have a reason to continue crying. Just leave! Why don't you put that lazy body to use, for once?! Let that worthless mansion house your immeasurable sorrow, because I can't handle anymore! And while you're waiting for your carriage to arrive, you can pack your things and sit outside in the dirt where you belong, you peasant! I don't want your stinking presence in my home any longer; you're making me even sicker than the pregnancy you did nothing but complain about!"

When I didn't move from my alarm and disgust and near tears, Roderich moved me.

"Get out! Get the hell out of my house before I force you out myself! _Go_!"

I would never admit to those horrid fears. Even in our darkest moments, I had yet to hear that unmerciful tone. So, I left, regret eating my stomach as the strongest of acids and causing a whole new sort of virus to take me.

And I obeyed, the peasant girl I was, and sat outside amongst my things, fuming, sobbing, becoming pregnant with anguish's seed, and wishing so desperately for another miscarriage. The bag of coins was stuffed within my palm and I squeezed as a boa constrictor with the intent to kill. My form was overflowing with passionate upset, not only misery but venomous anger. Tears melded to my eyes from the moment I sat to the moment I left. No sound arrived when the driver did, and without any communication, I took my own things and threw them into my carriage, patient while converting to a block of stone. My skin and very nerves cooled to a numb sensation, and my feet were the only sights my vision beheld.

What a horribly long trip…


	25. Chapter 25

As soon as my sullen feet touched the interior of my prodigal home in Vienna, my hands were put to their work of marring clean parchment with a message to my Prussian. I neglected to tell him of my lost life or perhaps the temporarily lost love. Those were words only an ear could behold, but the general tone was something of urgency seasoned by sorrow, although few statements were scratched upon that manila flesh…

And for a week, I marinated in my own upset, my feelings becoming as uncontrollable weather. One moment, there was a numb sort of calm, and the next I found tears evaporating upon my enraged palm and whispered curses slipping from my quivering and beaten lips.

When my Prussian came, my dejected figure was placed upon a seat sitting comfortably on the ancient bricks separating the house from the actual wilderness of the dying garden. Saltine droplets flavored the tea positioned before me as minuscule sugar cubes.

I didn't turn to witness him; instead I was kept within a kind embrace, one that held a strong will to drain my being of its obvious misery. A kiss pressed to my cheek as a brand and a bouquet of thriving scarlet roses curled in my lap as a child so full of love for its mother.

"Oh Gilbert…"

"Eli, what happened? I came as soon as I opened your letter…I'm sorry I couldn't arrive sooner…" Another advance cremating my visage. "And I'm sorry I failed to wait for you to answer the door…"

In my anticipation for him, I left the locks unemployed, knowing his presence could be birthed at any unexpected time. He was well aware of the home he was to inhabit and was more welcomed than that occasionally vile Austrian.

I rose to take him into a genuine embrace, placing my richly hued gift upon the table adjacent to my marred beverage.

"Gilbert…I miscarried…" The truth poured as wine from the richest fountain, my lips parting so simply. Truly, my predictions were far less fluid…

"…_What_?"

"I miscarried…" I repeated, more tears reaping their life upon pained skin. "And before I came here, Roderich and I fought like enraged animals…He called me a peasant and threw me out of his home…Or at least he tried…"

"Elizaveta…" My confession had taken words from his tongue and slaughtered them in cold blood. "…I'm sorry…"

Minutes past and syllables weren't allowed breath. Simply, I tucked my sobs into his chest pocket while his very body gave comfort.

"Eli...Why don't we go inside?" His suggestion came as bread to a starving mouth.

"Alright…"

Slowly, our forms progressed to the porthole, and our bodies stilled as our feet sat softly upon the cool boards. A sort of calm was subduing me, and I was able to stop my shoulders from their quakes.

"…Elizaveta, I'm sorry…I…" His speech seemed to have trouble finding its coherency, his mind in just as much of a baffling hurricane as mine. "…I really wanted to meet your child-"

"Gilbert…I don't want to think about this anymore…Would you like to get drunk?"

"Elizaveta…"

"What? Don't tell me you don't want a drink…You love alcohol more than anyone I know…" The fire was cooling a pathetic and dull heat. "You don't have to bother with lies…Of course you didn't want to meet my child…You were probably upset at its mere conception. There's no need to fool me…and there's not a point…"

"Elizaveta, that's not true!" Gilbert pulled from me, his feet taking two paces back, eyes meeting mine with that ruby stare, so full of shock and some kind of putrid disgust. There was a certain burn there that stitched red thread through either lip, and I was left a mute. "…No, I'd be lying if I said I wanted you to have his child…but that doesn't mean I couldn't be happy for you…You seemed so joyous…" He looked away from me; pink mounds separating and then closing before more thoughts came rattling down the conveyer belt. "I would hope to god your child wouldn't resemble him, but that life was yours too, Elizaveta…and that's the part I would have loved. I wouldn't give a damn if your husband grew a stomach and started sewing baby clothing…but you did…and even if it wasn't mine, I was willing to be happy for you. I _like_ children, Eli…and I would especially love yours…" Words were produced, but his eyes were far more vibrant. "I've grown used to the thought that we might never be able to truly be together…and I would take whatever luck I could get these beaten fingers on…" More. "I don't have a reason to lie to you. What sort of scum would I be if I had to fool the woman I loved?"

His words seemed to pierce this nonsensical barrier I wore faithfully as clothes. I swallowed my incredible upset and managed rational thoughts.

"I'm sorry Gilbert. That was wrong of me…Perhaps I shouldn't be so pessimistic. I should feel lucky I'm even capable of conceiving…And I'm still healthy. There's truly no reason why I can't try a second time…" Our irises melded, bonding as exactly as hyper atoms. "You wouldn't lie to me…I know you wouldn't. Thank you for coming so far to see that I was alright. You're a good man, Mr. Weillschmidt…"

My darling didn't offer words, but I was given a loving pair of arms to bask in. "Thank you, Eli."

"…Perhaps you wouldn't like to get drunk in the middle of the day…" An idea flared upon my tongue and screamed for its freedom. "But perhaps you'd like to go out with me. Before I left, my husband hit me with quite the satchel of money."

"Did he truly hit you?"

"Well, not necessarily…It was thrown to me with little regard, and I didn't catch it…"

"Would you like me to knock the Austrian out of him?"

"No…" Despite those horrible tinges of bitter sorrow, a laugh was birthed. "I doubt anyone or anything could accomplish that...Do you know what he wanted to name our child?"

"No… What?"

"Maria Thérèsa or Franz…"

"You can't be serious…"

"I know…They truly aren't bad names, but goodness…Would something slightly Hungarian kill that man? I haven't heard that language ever since we've been wed, unless you count the voice screaming within my head…"

"I'm sorry, Elizaveta…"

"It's alright, Gilbert…It would be the same situation if I would have been your bride…I suppose I don't have a right to complain…"

"Hmm…" That was the only response my ear held.

"Well…How about it, Mr. Weillschmidt? Would you like to go out today?"

"Yes. I would very much like that…But please allow me to bath first. I'm certain after traveling I'm not very…fragrant."

"Of course, even though your scent is just fine."

"Well, thank you, Eli. But I'd like to be sure…If you'll excuse me…"

"Alright. I'll be waiting for you here. I'll apply some rouge."

"So will I." His lips marred either direction of my frame, bringing me a smile composed of a fragment of sunshine.

"Thank you, Gilbert."

"Well, look at that. You don't need any rouge." Love festering between our mouths. "I'll be with you soon…"

And I was left to my feet chiseled of stone with a bouquet of crimson flesh and stems built of healthy muscle. As if they were a precious child, I laid them softly upon the kitchen table. Their bodies would simply have to be patient for the censorship of a vase.

My thoughts stirred as I looked to the staircase, realizing that I no longer wanted to be kept to my lonesome. Gilbert had just arrived, breaking the dirty pattern of weeks imprisoned within the confines of my own mind. Within the first two, Roderich had stopped for visits, but the bars were still too weighty for ill-formed strength to bend. Now the lock had been broken, but my savior ran before I could truly witness him.

Ankles shifted, and I found my slippers conquering the primary riser.

Of course, my Prussian was probably freeing himself of undergarments, along with socks, something that idiot Austrian wouldn't do if I paid him a generous sum, and perhaps I should have been more considerate of this very truth. Perhaps my thoughts would have been far more gathered if my emotions weren't in such a ravenous typhoon, and perhaps my feet would have frozen in their direction if my husband hadn't marred my stomach with an unsightly bruise, but indeed, my emotions were in a violent flurry, and indeed there was an ugly yellowing mark upon my very belly, and indeed, I was becoming a little hungrier for the gaze of another.

I hovered outside the door, my hands possessed by a careless imp. Without so much as a knock, the frame sifted from the sweet embrace of its frame, and I was allowed to a world bathed in afternoon hues, and a gorgeous statue of the man who held my heart as a gentle captive for so very long. He covered the spot between his legs, a god stealing features of human modesty with those eyes so full of surprise to my visit.

"I was so lonesome without you…" a voice rose, weighted down with livid indifference.

"…I was too…" His hands eased from his manhood, and I was allowed to witness his body in its maturity. I had yet to see him nude in this perfectly sculpted stage.

"Good…" The space between us was effaced by my steps, and my fully clothed form stole his in a passionate and starving embrace.

Our lips melded with enough heat to begin a never ending inferno. How long had either of us desired this? How many years had Gilbert sat nude within my dreams, and how many times had this moment occurred within my false novel?

My Prussian wasted no time unlacing me, my simple dress growing loose around my arms and back. There were no moments lost on my end removing them. Silks dropped to the cool tiles, and I stepped from their gentle touches, and removed my own undergarments.

Again, my darling and I were left to a moment filled with stares of admiration. I allowed a finger of mine to trace the outline of his well built face, and again, our lips connected as affectionate mounds of clay.

Palms held each other at the waist, our flesh melting so wonderfully and our fingers greedy for touch. For a moment, we parted, and Gilbert placed a string of burning kisses upon my middle while coming to his knees. His lips avoided the bruise Roderich had created; however his eyes had caught its horrid colors within a tightly woven net. Our gazes connected, but no sound navigated from our throats. With eyebrows bent under the weight of concern, he continued.

Advances stopped above my garden, his kisses seeming to hesitate while his grip found a place upon my thighs. He was the child who had finally caught that perused rainbow, and now that it was within his possession, uncertainty of what to do with those luminescent colors struck as a hammer to an egg.

My fingers knit with those lovely strands of snow white hair, telling him through subtle motion to continue.

Something smooth as a polished stone flicked gently at my most sensitive parts, and those once mindful fingers became tense with the bindings of pleasure. My legs spread further from each other and a pair of appendages found a pleasant crevice in which to sleep in. They moved in happy unison, causing unruly throngs of ecstasy to pass through my veins as the most potent of opium.

"Ahhh…"

His moist organ covered a bit more of my pleading flesh, and more fluid took form around those working fingers.

"Deeper…" My voice came in the incarnation of a beg.

My order was given an immediate response; soft comply falling from my parted orifice. Gilbert took a small amount of time to simply pass his tongue over my little pink pearl, causing tremors to possess my appendages.

"Ah-Gilbert…Stop a moment."

"What's wrong?"

"I'll fall over…Let's move to the tub…"

A kiss to the lower portion of my stomach. "Of course…That's the perfect place to fall over." Another grace and I was left once again singular.

Gilbert pulled the curtains from the stage, revealing that shining porcelain vat I had seen so many times previously, but now truly held pertinence. I skinned my lips, once again bombarded with a raging sea of emotion and ramped thought. Truly, it felt like I was enveloped in a tight veil of dreams, my fingers having been curious of this moment ever since my body began its true development.

Gilbert's feet pressed to the bottom of the tub, as did mine across from his. Yet more seconds of wondering if this was truly tangible in the form of stares. In that moment, my gaze fell to that impressive length between his legs. Already, it was entranced with blood. Again, my limbs were possessed by some form of malevolent force, perhaps desire itself, and my palm was brought to its base, my fingers imitating the shape of rings and catching him without any intention of drawing my hand back.

Some form of shyness still remained in my blood, perhaps because I had a new partner to woo.

Slowly, my wrist was brought back to me with my fingers still well intact. Goodness, he was aroused…

A sense of intoxication drifted about my body, hunger twisted with pleasure still leaking from the in between of my legs. We needed one another. Time shouldn't be wasted…

Predictably as a promise, my knees adhered to the bucket's floor and without any miniscule thought, my mouth opened to accept his member.

He created a mumble of pleasure before the tip of my tongue even prodded his head. A giggle was reincarnated into a grin, and as if teasing him, my playful organ slowly sponged that engrossed manhood with saliva. I turned circles around his slit, applying each and every horrid trick my husband had given me.

Perhaps I should thank him…He's allowed me to impress the man I truly keep within my core.

I submerged Gilbert and kept my hand busy, simply suckling upon the tip. I could feel his response within my very nerves. It was driving him mad.

"Ahh…Eli…"

My starving lips sunk a little lower and returned to his head, and repeated the action, and repeated, and repeated, and repeated…and repeated…

Mr. Weillschmidt was gasping.

The pace quickened, my entire orifice cruel.

"…Stop…"

A small pop and a flowed order, however, my appendages still remained, unwilling to leave their dear friend.

"Sit down, Gilbert…" My body rose, and our eyes melded together as melting gems. Before sitting within the tub's cool embrace, a crimson stain was placed upon my cheek.

"Yes, Mrs. Edelstein."

The Prussian's body sunk, his back rolling upon porcelain lips, his middle easily accessible. I lowered myself upon his thighs, not yet sheathing that desperate organ between my legs. My skin was used temporarily as a napkin, the back of my hand erasing what discharge still coded my lips. I turned, forcing the water from its socket and offering my undivided attention to the man who brushed his skin so gently against mine.

My hips rose, our forms nearly embracing as his member kissed my entrance with a soft grace. Carefully, I fell around him, filled to the very brim and moaning as indulgence tore my nerves asunder.

"Ah…Gilbert…"

Our eyes shared a heavily lidded gaze, so entranced with ecstasy that coherency wasn't even a possibility in this stew of desire and passion.

Yes…This _was_ occurring…I had betrayed my husband without so much as finishing the act…

But goodness…

This was fantastic…

I brought my body upward and back upon his frame with an amount of force, the thought of that damn Roderich bringing me a tinge of fury. My Prussian didn't seem to notice this very drop of rage, his mouth well occupied with a cry of pleasure.

Of course...Gilbert didn't seem to be the archetypal lover who preferred gentle sex…He was so full of passion, but so many things about him were rigid…

And I loved each and every one of them.

My intensity continued, a lover's hands securing my waist and moving with my build.

"…Eli…" A question wanted to be asked, but a heavy guard of enjoyable distraction kept it sealed behind his lips. "What about the…" Speaking satisfaction. "…Water…"

"Ah-!" I enveloped him a little more slowly, suppressing a moan as my hand found the knob to cease the flood. "There…"

And my body returned to its starving obligation.

My palms settled upon those lovely strengthened shoulders, trying with such vigor not to scar him with possessed nails. I couldn't help but grasp as I brought my figure higher, quieting my shameful ecstasy with teeth embracing my lower lip.

"Ah-!" Sharp pleasure came when I was once again occupied.

This was making love with Mr. Weillschmidt…

"Aah…Gilbert…"

How did I manage controlling these urges all of those years? It was ridiculous to even think they lied to dormant, escaping only through a point the size of a pin prick…

"Elizaveta!"

For a moment, I restricted my movements to tie our tongues together as unruly blushing ribbons. My right hand resided at one side of that gorgeous visage, while the other requested his and allowed it to sit upon my breast.

My nipple was given a descent tug before it was kneaded between that worn index finger and thumb. No…He wasn't gentle, but that damn Austrian was never rough…

As our lips became their own possessions, I removed that playful set of appendages from my bosom and wrapped my own digits in his, the intensity between our bodies increasing as a passionate fire that envelopes anything within its path. The world was becoming blank, and all that was left to focus on was each other's beauty.

And as so many times before, I found myself staring into those shining rubies, their color the incarnation of his devotion and flare.

"I love you-!" My noises were bound with my near release.

"I love you too-!"

Gasps were screaming from either of our throats, and as I slammed against his body, my muscles tightened around his member. That unmistakable expression had already conquered his features, and either of our veins became devoid of our previous energy. We held each other with intentions of never letting the other away, and again, our tongues fought a battle soaking in affections that had began so very long ago…

"Oh…Gilbert…"

The only answer was a tighter embrace.

"I love you, Gilbert…"

"I love you too, Elizaveta…Thank you…" Our swollen mouths only met a short time. "Thank you…"


	26. Chapter 26

I lied in a warm bed next to my love, fingers connected and hands well intertwined. I was occupied within my own body, my thoughts possessing my lips but keeping all the sound upon my tongue. My flesh was barren of its usual garments and coded in a layer of passionate sweat.

Attention was very much alive. I knew the act I had committed as the toes upon my feet and didn't sum it to a dream, or bury it under a snowfall of ignorance. My emotions were soaking within an ugly basin of confused guilt, the water they drowned in becoming filthy with my own putrid thoughts and the desire for the man nearly asleep at my side.

"Gilbert…What have we done?"

At first, no response allowed its presence, but a whisper came from the beaten sheets and strong arms adopted me as a lost child.

"…I don't know, Elizaveta…" A pair of compact lips placed a brand upon my neck. "…But I've wanted to be close to you for so long…I'm not even sure if I should feel horrible or be overjoyed…"

"…I know love…" My heart was suffocated by just as much conflict. "There's an awful guilt wriggling around under my skin, and I feel like if I scratch at it, it'll simply become worse…" My lids restricted vision. "I was so upset with him…But, goodness… he shouldn't have an _adulteress _for a wife…"

My Prussian's response stole a few uncomfortable seconds. "I'm sorry, darling."

"…Gilbert?"

"Yes?"

"Have…have you come all this way only wanting me…? I'm certain the idea has crossed your mind before now, and we could very well leave this home without anyone having even an inkling…"

"How could you even think such an awful thing of me? I left a crying Ludwig with an old vulture to make sure you were alright and Roderich hadn't beaten you, or something awful…Of course I didn't come all the way to this idiotic city just to make love to you…Eli, _you_ came upstairs knowing I was going to bathe. Have I touched you in any inappropriate manner before you offered yourself to me?

"…No, you haven't."

"Of course not. I know I'm not much of a gentleman, but I'm not going to make you feel uncomfortable around me…I've loved you far too long to have you run from me for such a stupid purpose…"

Seconds were taken for thought to flood the space between my temples. I licked my bottom lip and once again projected a quiet voice. "I'm sorry, Gilbert…I had to be certain." My nerves lost their tense holds and my limbs relaxed against his embrace. "Why was Ludwig crying?"

"He had cut his knee…I'm not even sure if I could say cut. It was spurting blood like a fountain before I left…He usually doesn't cry easily, but it wasn't a little accident…" A sigh. "I hope he's alright. I waited as long as I could before my carriage left…"

"I'm certain he's fine. Children seem to heal quickly…"

"Hmm…"

My eyes closed and I was subdued to a near blanket of sleep, sewn together with well wishes and embroidered with a bit of guilt.

We had made love until our forms could no longer function. My limbs were devoid of their fuel, and I was beginning to long for home. These shameful scars would have to wither before I could even be near that damn husband of mine…

"Eli…"

"Hmm?" My weak veil of dreams was torn by a merciless pair of claws.

"Are you going to tell your husband?"

A legitimate worry…

"No, I'm not. I'm certain that if I did, I wouldn't be allowed your letters anymore, because it would be obvious it was you who sent them…If I couldn't even have that I think I'd be happier in my grave…"

"Don't say such things…"

"I'm sorry, Gilbert…but it's true. Where would my life be without you? You're as cardinal as my heart…This marriage was bearable before only because I received your words…I've kept all the letters you've sent me. And they're even right under my bed…"

"How can they be there?"

"I found a box that came with a lock and key…and there's nothing else kept beneath those sheets, so there's no reason to search there. They key is hidden within my wardrobe as well…"

"I've kept your letters too, but I haven't hidden them…they're spread out over my desk, so I can look at them daily." I was given a kiss. "I'm really no good with organizing anything, anyway… but you were aware of that…"

My eyes were beginning to struggle to even stay open. "…You're amusing, darling. Perhaps that's why I love you so…or just a single reason…"

"I love you too, Elizaveta…"

"Gilbert…" My energy was running from me and leaving my battered form to sleep within a cold room. "Will you stay a few more days?"

"Of course." Another touch for my naked skin.

"Thank you…"

That night, my husband took my dreams as a tyrant and shook my world with guilt. It was a simple dream. He was sitting within his office, wearing an expression of utter sorrow. Certainly, he was aware of my affair with Gilbert Weillschmidt, although I had no recollection of anyone giving him such information, not even my own mouth. I entered the chamber and stole him within my sight, my lips barren of any life. Some part of me was overflowing with regret and just as much sorrow. There was so much anger, more so afflicted at myself than anyone else, and no matter how enflamed my emotions became, my mouth was a solid line that would not be moved. I wanted to tear it open, but my hands were just as frozen; my fingers so very desperate, but became stable as ice sculptures in the coldest corner of this earth.

And in my frustration, I sobbed, my message in the form of liquid fire that seared a path from my eye lids to my chin. No matter how obvious my display became, Roderich was stone. He acted as if there was no distressed woman before him, and no room around him. A simple enigma composed of nothing…

I awoke with a mist coding my vision and an empty space at my side.

My _god_. What had I done?

My rage had been so willing to destroy my husband in an implacable inferno, but truly, there is no correct reason for my blatant unfaithfulness. Roderich would have never done the same while my back was turned to him. That Austrian I had been cursing so foully was one of the kindest men I had known, and despite those words so saturated in venom, he adored me and I adored him just as heavily. I had also spewed hateful things, which forced the rage from those usually decadent lips in a knee-jerk reaction.

And he likely regretted those blackened statements just as much as I had provoking them.

When one agitates a snake, a bite can be anticipated…

I loved Gilbert… but I loved my husband, and I loved him enough to despise myself for making such an ill-thought choice.

His fears and upset were so very rational…

And I was frigid as ice…and so inconsiderate.

Truly, my body and mind cried for home, but I was bound by each and every shameful blister Gilbert had created upon my flesh.

I wanted to apologize…to simply hold my husband and tell him how extremely sorry I was; to tell him how very close and dear to my heart he was and how strong my affections were for him…

But as so many times before I was locked within a type of protocol, this one being time's dungeon. I found my body to be held by aggressive purple chains, and I had to wonder how long it would be before they crumbled.

My eyes were filled with fervid tears, and my flesh was nude, my body alone…My Gilbert had escaped somewhere, and my cries fell to fictional ears.


	27. Chapter 27

"Thank you for staying a few days, Mr. Weillschmidt. It was nice to see you again…"

"Of course, Eli...It's comforting to know you're feeling better. Thank you…" The purpose of his gratitude was well understood. A kiss sank upon my brightening apple.

"I'll see you again soon, hopefully. And I'll certainly write you a letter."

"Of course. And I'll write back to you."

Another embrace of compact lips and the opening of a portal that would lead my Prussian so far from me. I hated waiting those ugly weeks in my husband's library…Yet, My feet wanted to inhabit that familiar establishment that housed several pretty memories.

Once again, I found myself alone with a healthy amount of patience required before my carriage presented itself.

My state wouldn't be similar to the last time I was returned home. Those decisions were given several hours, and the guilt that came from them was no longer enough to rip tears from my eyes. The wounds they had left were partially healed, and once marred skin was restored to its original hue. My blood was intoxicated by a sort of numbing calm, and my mouth was ready to spew those rehearsed apologies.

I considered my actions to be matters of the past, something one can never change regardless of circumstance. My husband had scarred me with words sharp as blades, and I had betrayed him with a fetid act, which came to punish me with an uncomfortable corset fashioned with silence. Still, some sense of noisome satisfaction was taken even from knowing I was able to do something in response, even though I was crushed by an overbearing sense of guilt at the same instance.

My return home was affixed in a strange sort of quiet. Some part of me was screamed while the other half fell completely to peace. The section that had succumbed to secrecy was bubbling over with fervid forgiveness, and the side that never seemed to calm itself was composed with confused, possibly self inflicted rage.

Even the sights, so infused with a beauty only seen in autumn, couldn't hold my attention. They failed to keep my mind from being contained within my very mind, a prison built of iron bars and solid brick. I was well absorbed within my thoughts, almost to the point of over-saturation.

And as I had so many times before on these long voyages home, I simply gave myself to sleep, the only thing strong enough to shatter those bricks compacted so tightly together.

"Madame Edelstein?"

My eyes offered me top of a carriage darkened by near nightfall.

"You've arrived."

The words leaking from that servant's mouth offered me a brand of comfort. Finally, I could apologize to that husband of mine, something I had wanted to do directly after the creation of my secret with Mr. Weillschmidt.

Regardless of my brief happiness, there was no Roderich to greet me, and I had to carry quite a bit of my own possessions, but I was still granted assistance, and still determined as a fierce ember to approach that man.

When I stepped foot within my home, my ears were inhabited by the sweetest of cries, these being the gentle screams of a piano. It was odd for my husband to play so late into the evening, but without a presence to occupy one's time, one must occupy themselves.

I allowed each gorgeous sound to draw a path for me, and my sols progressed with a speed that seemed almost desperate. Nearly two weeks had come and died…This needed to be made right.

The sound of the instrument became louder, and I was standing at his threshold but somewhat timid of laying my touch upon the knob. For a moment, the song possessed me, and my heart was stricken unmercifully by sadness.

How dejected he must have been…

It was expected for him to be lonesome, because at times, my being was lost to only itself as well, and I was at least granted the presence of a friend as well as a lover…I was quite possibly Roderich's only acquaintance, and even more likely the only one he allowed time for.

My fingers finally took place upon the knob and out of need to see him and my own consuming greed, my hand was given weight and the door slowly slid from its frame.

I was greeted with unnerving quiet and a stare from two sapphires melting within the flames of emotion. Yet, that voice willing to step from its owner's fantastic mouth was monotone, and what little feeling placed stingily inside it was depressed.

"I thought you ran away…"

"No…" My fingers seemed to fidget with one another. "No…I'll only run if you choose not to forgive me…"

There was a long expanse of gaping silence, and again, Roderich offered his words before mine. I believe he grew impatient of this breath constricting silence.

"…I'm sorry, Elizaveta…" His gaze couldn't even be directed towards mine. "I've said some truly awful things to you…I thought quite a bit in your absence, and perhaps you were correct. How could I understand something I hadn't gone through? You were far closer to that child than I was…I should have tried to be a bit more understanding…It was driving me mad having to watch you become more and more depressed as the days passed…I was beginning to assume you might not feel happiness again…and truly, it bothered me to no end…" He stopped a moment. "Regardless, there were quite a few things that shouldn't have been said. And for that I apologize..."

I skinned my lips a moment, those words that had ran back and forth within my mind disappearing as a drop of vapor...Yet; I forced sound from my throat.

"No…I'm sorry, Roerich…I think you were correct in your thinking…I shouldn't have been upset so long, or at least…I should have tried to stop after so many days…It was a hard loss for me to bear, but you were absolutely right. We're so capable of trying again…Perhaps I should have tried to let my dejection go…" I let a bit of skin my fingers had captured drop to my feet and felt a tinge of blood come upon my tongue. "…I truly didn't mean what I said to you…I love you…and I adore being able to call myself your wife…I was speaking from frustration…" I simply sighed, and at a lack of words decided to quote my passionate Gilbert. "I simply love the _hell_ out of you!"

Something of a smile passed over his mouth, and those gorgeous jewels were drawn to me.

"…Thank you, Elizaveta…" Roderich rose from his bench and came to my form, our eyes interlocking a moment and exchanging all the words out tongues could not.

Without having to wait long, I stepped forward a few paces and wrapped him in an embrace that screamed my very innards.

"I love you, Elizaveta…" His limbs offered instantaneous comply.

"I love you too, Roderich…"

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you even more…" I branded his chest with a set of lips. "…My goodness, you smell nice…"

"Thank you." He laughed. "You do too…"

I captured him a little tighter. "I'm sorry. I love you darling, I truly do…"

"I love you too, Elizaveta…I was so lonely while you were away…Perhaps tomorrow we can do something together…"

"Of course. Whatever you like…"

"Hmm…" A touch assigned to my forehead. "May I play you a song?"

"You never need to ask me that question, darling. I adore your music."

"Alright."

Roderich stole his seat back upon the bench and sunk his fingers gently into the keys. The note they created expanded a while and slowly faded, losing its life and was replaced as new sounds arrived.

His serenade filled my ears and kissed each dimension as if it was his mouth caressing me, and as the song progressed in its beauty, I found a difficult time keeping my heart locked within my chest. Notes grew as lovely children, their grace only increasing with age.

The sound came to a slow, and once again was gently erased. I found myself encased heavily in awe.

"Oh, Roderich…How gorgeous…"

"Thank you, Darling." The empty space next to him was given a pat. "Come sit with me."

"Of course…"

I adopted a place at his side and stored my palm upon his hand.

"How many years did it take?"

"To do what, darling?"

"To play so beautifully?"

"You know…I'm not so sure it even matters. Any sort of talent demands an enumerable amount of time…let's say my entire life."

"Well, genius can certainly be achieved. And look, Roderich! You didn't even have to become decrepit and ugly to achieve it. What a handsome man I've found." My lips took a light inhabitance of his cheek. "I think you have the most beautiful eyes I've seen, or at least in the very top three."

"Yours would be the first, wouldn't they?"

"No, Darling." Another kiss. "Perhaps yours, but I've seen so many pairs I couldn't choose fairly."

Of course…No one's eye could compare with the uniqueness of Mr. Weillschmidt's. They were so full of overwhelming passion, I sometimes couldn't bear to even meet them with my glance…and my goodness did those jewels illuminate…

Rubies and sapphires. Either were a treat to behold.

"Well darling, I think yours are in my very top three as well, but I'm certain I'm trapped in the same predicament. I've seen far too many to choose fairly."

"Are yours the first?"

"Goodness, no."

I trapped his visage between either palm and touched my lips to his.

"I have a solution, Roderich. My eyes are your favorite, and yours are my favorite. We're wed so we're allowed to play favorites. For instance, you're my favorite husband; perhaps the best one I've ever had…And I can be your favorite wife. How about it, sweetheart?" My lips captured the tip of that perfect nose a moment. "It sounds nice, doesn't it?"

"Yes, love. It certainly does."

"Good. Please follow me to our bedroom…I want you to know how exactly you are _indeed_ my favorite, if you wouldn't object of course."

"Oh, Elizaveta. You never need to ask me that question." Lips locked.

"Perfect."


	28. Chapter 28

Time past and guilt faded as a sort of phantom. Secrets became embalmed in jars brimming with formaldehyde, and laid somewhat forgotten upon a shelf I kept to my own knowledge. And ties were knotted even more tightly as dependable ropes.

The air grew colder, my breath became visible and the green that once made the trees in Austria flourish became soaked with snow, several becoming bald.

In the beauty of the winter and its pure coat, Roderich and I sat outside under one of these balding lives and watched as light flakes fluttered from the heavenly clouds, their bodies requiring the entire sky and dying the air a nostalgic sort of grey. We wore our warmest garments and embraced as penguins with our fingers well intertwined.

"Darling…What do you want for Christmas?"

"Roderich, you're truly asking me that? You always have something up those fancy sleeves of yours…"

"I know…but I can't think of anything. I thought it best to simply inquire…"

"Oh, I don't even know what I want." Thoughts were forcefully produced a moment, my eyes drawn to each snowflake inhabiting the air and captivating our sights. "I'd like to build a snowman with you…and then we can have a snowball fight."

"How ever do you wrap a snowball fight?"

"Oh shush…" I abducted his hand for examination and played with a few of his fingers. "I have an idea…We should spend our Christmas in Vienna…I imagine it's gorgeous there, covered in snow…and when we arrive, we can have our snowball fight, which you can wrap, you silly sweet man." A kiss.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Elizaveta…" My palm was taken by those very appendages I had been studying. "I would love to spend Christmas in Vienna with you, and the garden would be a lovely place to wrap a snowball fight."

I smiled and laid my chilled lips upon his fiery cheek. "Yes. It certainly would…Mr. Edelstein, what do you want for Christmas? Now that we've addressed the topic…"

"Well…Quite a few of my socks have holes in them, so…A new pair would be very much desired."

"Oh Roderich, why didn't you tell me sooner? You shouldn't have to tolerate worn socks…I would have made you a new pair immediately…"

"Can you fashion clothing, Elizaveta?"

"Of course, Darling. It's been quite a long while, but I still know how…I've fixed a few of your trousers…"

"How kind of you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"The very same reason you didn't tell me of your socks. I truly didn't think it was all too pertinent…" A moment was stolen to admire my husband, whose skin was lovely against a background entranced in pearl. "Well, I'll certainly make you socks, and they'll be an array of colors. You favorite is purple, isn't it?"

"Yes…" His mouth bunched up and adhered itself to my freezing apple. "Purple socks would make me a very happy man."

"Fantastic! I'm looking so forward to Christmas!" I could feel my lips stretching at their edges. "New socks and a free Roderich…You're always off at least a few days…My goodness, Roderich! I miss while you're at my very side! I suppose this love of mine has made me greedy. Well, regardless, I'm ecstatic you have today to yourself, or at least to me." My fingers traced the outline of his handsome face. "I love these moments when you're all mine."

"And I love it just as much as you do, because you're all mine as well…" A grace was placed upon my lips. "My, darling…Your face is so red. Would you like to go inside? I'll warm you up immediately."

My stomach was stricken with a small amount of laughter. "How kind of you, and I'd be quite willing to take you up on that offer, but if you don't mind, it would truly be enjoyable to sit outside with you a little longer. It's not often we're able to bask in the snow together. My goodness… Austria is beautiful…"

A few moments of comfortable silence fell upon our bare fingers.

"Darling, do you ever miss home?"

"…Well…It's a bit difficult not to at times, but I truly do enjoy my life here. It would be odd to even attempt to return, I've gotten so used to being here with you…"

Roderich wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Is there anything you would want to change?"

"Oh, love. There's absolutely no need for such questions! Even if I did seek change, I'm sure some part of that new life would just make me unhappy. I'm quite content as things are. And if that new life entailed being away from you…well…" There was so much love just bleeding from those gorgeous eyes. "I think everyone wants change in their lives, but I'm so happy. Why would I ever risk sending that away?"

"Oh Elizaveta, you're such a good woman…" Another embrace of the lips. "It's truly difficult not to adore you…"

Instead of answering him, I simply offered my orifice for a short moment. "What a lovely day it is…"

Seconds holding an adoring sort of silence.

"Well, would you like anything else besides a trip to Vienna and a wrapped snowball fight? Perhaps a lovely article of jewelry or a new gown…perhaps a box of candy…or perhaps all three…"

"Well, I adore jewelry, but you needn't get me anymore…and as for gowns, I'm extremely well off. You know how I love treats, but you needn't buy any for me. I would enjoy making some for a change…No, Roderich. I think I'm quite set upon the matter of material things. Well…unless you'd like to purchase a novel for me; I would be delighted, but that would truly be the only thing. I'd honestly rather have your company."

"I see, Darling."

"How about you, love? Do you want any jewelry or gowns, or chocolate? I can get you a novel as well, if you like…What of all of those things?"

"Oh, darling, if I wished to wear a gown, I would simply borrow one of yours. You wouldn't mind would you?"

"No, of course not!" A giggle erupted from my throat. "How about chocolate?"

"You know I'd prefer cake."

"Oh yes! Of course…What of a necklace, or perhaps a ring?"

"Oh, I own so many of those, I'd forget about your gift the moment I put it away."

"I see." I couldn't keep the smile from my frost stricken mounds, their color turned crimson due to the temperature. "What of a novel?"

"Ah...well. One can never have too many books. If you'd like to find a novel for me, I'd gladly read it."

"Alright! I'll take myself on a book hunt." My voice came out far more determined than I intended, but I was willing to do most anything to please this man.

"I love you, Elizaveta…"

"Good! Because I love you too!"

Roderich wrapped me in an embrace as if it was a welcoming blanket, and I was pushed into the snow under the weight of his body. His lips smashed upon mine and arms held his figure just as tightly. My bottom lip fell and his tongue pushed softly inside, our organs twirling together as if in a wild sort of dance. Mounds curled and bodies were instantly roasted in a passionate fire.

I was afflicted by audible joy as our passion subsided. Our eyes were brought to one another's and Roderich showed me possibly the warmest smile I had seen from him yet. I allowed my hand to gently move the loose strands of hair from his perfect face, and snuck a quick kiss upon that perfect mouth.

"Thank you, sweetheart. Why don't we go inside? I've been soaked with snow…"

"Of course, Elizaveta. Perhaps we can take a nice hot bath together and then we'll drink a cup of hot chocolate."

"That sounds fantastic."

"Wonderful."

And before I was even allowed from that icy embrace, my lips were caught against his.


	29. Chapter 29

"Elizaveta…Your secret admirer has sent you a Christmas gift."

The porthole was shattered to the library, and immediately, I sat upon my knitting needles and the small flat I had managed to produce.

It was the day before I would be boarded onto the carriage for Vienna, and my fingers had completed six pairs of socks for my husband's picky feet, the current work placed under my bottom being the seventh.

"Will you get away from me?! You are _not_ allowed to view your gifts! Especially when I'm constructing them in the quiet and windowless library!"

Roderich's feet stopped before my own, and I was admired as if I was a statue in an unseen pose, placed upon an odd little pedestal. There was a filthy smirk coding those pretty lips and a light of amusement within those jewels.

"This better be good; satisfactory at least. My bottom has been turned to a pin cushion for your sake."

"Why thank you, darling. I truly do appreciate it." A letter was offered to me with a sort of weight inhabiting its base. "As I said, it's from your secret admirer."

"Thank you…" My anger had been released as an eager hot air balloon, and I granted him a demure curl of my lips. "Would you like to see your gift?"

"No, Elizaveta. If that were to occur, you would have maimed that wonderful bottom of yours for nothing."

"Well, I'm going to show it to you anyway." I removed myself from my needles and adopted that developing article into my careful fingers. The baby blue flat switched custody and I observed Roderich as he admired my tightly construed work.

"Well…how is it? Are you happy with the consistency?"

"Yes…This is very nice. My I touch it to my foot?"

"When it's a sock you may." I claimed my small creation and utilized my back as a veil to keep his eyes from observing any more qualities. "Now go…because you're not even supposed to have this much of a preview…Please."

"I'd like to see what's inside that envelope, darling. If another man is sending gifts to my wife, I want to know what they are…"

"Well…It's not an unfair argument…" I tore a lesion within the envelope's flesh, confident it was only an article of jewelry. Gilbert was never foolish enough to send a letter without submerging it in a creative sort of hiding place. Not once had he given me open words.

There was a small golden serpent curling within the hollow innards of my address ridden letter, and gently, I retrieved with the tips of my fingers, careful not to tie its body in knots. At the bottom of this shining string, there hung a locket in the form of a heart, its body tattooed in dainty engravings that when looked at in collection formed a gorgeous fractal in the representation of a snowflake. It seemed to shimmer in the dull light of our library, the little jewels encrusted into certain areas gleaming in miniscule beams.

"Oh my…It certainly is lovely…"

"Hmm…May I see it?"

"Of course." I handed it to him, nervous he would pry the little case open. It wasn't by any means a small locket. One could easily fit folded messages of deep affection into its cavity, and knowing my darling, it was something he would certainly do.

My heart became mortified as his fingers pried at the rim of that locket, those persistent tips slipping from the amulet each time it refused. The core placed within my own chest was truly ready to explode and I could feel the sweat beginning its life upon my nervous brow. I almost had to bite my lips to keep it from its worried tremors.

Relief cooled my body, so very engrossed in flames, as my husband tilted the locket and realization came to his mind. "No wonder why I can't open this confounded thing… I need the key…"

I searched within the envelope's corpse, seeing nothing but blank manila staring at me with indifferent eyes. "And it seems my admirer has failed to leave one."

"How idiotic! Why ever give someone a locket they can't even open?"

"Perhaps the key will be sent later…"

"Well…" There seemed to be a thought within his mind, but it wasn't given any air. "Enjoy your locket. I'll leave you with whatever you were doing." At those words, I accepted a wink, and that golden amulet was returned to my own grasp.

"Thank you, darling."

"Of course."

My eyes stole a moment while taking in all of those fabulous little details marring my gift's body. I knew very well when I would receive that key…

Roderich had allowed me into Vienna early. He would be busy within that god-ridden office a day or so before Christmas, and wished for me to precede him. Several of my own gifts would be taken with me, and Roderich would bring his, eliminating the unneeded weight if we had traveled together. Supposedly, he would arrive on Christmas Eve, or perhaps the in very morning but no later, and I would set foot within that mansion close to a week before.

Naturally, a letter was sent To Mr. Weillschmidt, who would meet me inside that lovely little palace. He would take his leave before Roderich even arrived, allowing us an actual form of that snow soaked holiday together.

I imagine the key would be surrendered during my stay.

The locket pressed to my breast a moment while my eyes closed and I was wrapped in a silken blanket of lavish bliss.

Oh Gilbert…

How ecstatic I was. The year before we were only allowed to send one another letters, and nearly every December before, we had spent together.

As I lied in my bed that night, I was afflicted with an unmerciful case of excitement. With the anticipation of Christmas and my Prussian, my eyes were unable to even close. My fingers fidgeted, and I had tossed and turned, knowing I would need my rest, but unable to attain it. It was almost as if that glorious jar filled with sleep had been stowed upon the highest shelf in a tall house.

"Goodness, Elizaveta…What's the matter with you?" My husband's voice was weighted down by the same reprise I wasn't allowed to touch. He rolled to his side and stole my form into a loving embrace, perhaps to simply keep my limbs still.

"Oh, I'm just so excited! You're going to love your gifts, and tomorrow I'm going into Vienna. It must be so lovely coded in snow! Christmas is going to be just fantastic, and we'll finally be able to build a snowman and wrap a snowball fight!"

"I'll be sure to bring extra ribbon…"

"Why don't I knit some? That's all I've been doing lately, and I've gotten incredibly quick…"

"If you like…" He was subdued by weighty drowsiness.

"My darling…I'll let you sleep…" I left a kindly press to burn upon his cheek. "You really are cute with those glasses off…"

"I wouldn't know…I can't see a thing without them…"

"I'm sorry, Roderich…" I kept my amusement to a minimal volume.

"That's alright…Goodnight, Elizaveta…"

"Goodnight, love."

The sleep I did manage to steal from that cruel container kept so far away from my desperate fingers was minimal, thoughts and plans processing so quickly between my temples. It must have been around three before my body was finally given to rest, only to be shaken four hours later.

"Darling?"

At first, my lids were adhered together and refused to part.

"Elizaveta…"

"Hmm?" My eyes were sill kept from vision. "What is it?"

"It's time to wake up…"

"No…"

"No? Darling, _yes_."

"Darling, _no_! Finally, my sight offered me a blurred Roderich holding me in a loose embrace. "It's so very cold…why can't I simply stay in bed?"

"Because, you silly woman, the carriage is arriving in half an hour and you need to _at least_ wear something more appropriate than a night gown…I was supposed to wake you earlier, and now there's truly no time to sleep any longer."

"Roderich…"

"Come along, Elizaveta."

I simply whined at him, once again closing my eyes.

"Love, please…" My body was robbed of those loving covers, the only thing keeping it from the merciless morning cold being a night gown composed of what could very well be tissue.

My throat produced an unsatisfied yell.

"Come along darling!" My arm was pulled as a lever and my body lazily followed until I was slumped upon my feet. "There you are." He smoothed over the loose fabric surrounding my body and kissed my cheek in a weak apology. I couldn't help but glare. "Oh, how cute you are…Now please get dressed."

"…_Roderich_."

He held my face and smashed our orifices together.

"Please, hurry."

"Roder-"

"My goodness. Have you forgotten how to speak German? Well, I know barely any words in Hungarian, so you'll simply have to remember."

"I haven't forgotten how to speak German." My reply came in my former tongue, one I hadn't used in what seemed like an eternity and felt strange within my mouth.

"…Hello…" He responded in a matching dialect, his accent thick enough to dismember with a knife.

"What a cute little Austrian I have…I could simply eat you up. Perhaps I shall."

"…Excuse me?" And our words were put back.

"Nothing, darling."

"Well, wonderful! Let's get you dressed!" The bottom of my gown was held in his custody and torn from my body, passing unpleasantly over my head and causing screams to tear from my upset throat.

I was left only to the warmth of my skin and wrapped my arms over my quivering chest, my bottom lip held by teeth ready to tear skin. I stared at my husband, nearly wishing to yell, my eyes likely beating their rage into his own glance.

"Are you aware of how cold this room is?! The floor is marble, and I'm about to freeze to death!"

"Then perhaps you should wear a gown, shouldn't you?" His eyes dipped a little lower along my body, a little smirk upon those lovely lips.

"Stop staring at my chest."

"Oh? What now?"

"Stop looking at my breasts!"

"My goodness, you look cold. If you refuse to wear a gown, I'll simply have to warm you myself, won't I?"

My head leaned back, my tresses gently brushing past my naked skin as a cautious paintbrush to a virgin canvas. A heavy sigh burst from my lips and I returned my attention to those awful sapphires, so content with infuriating me utilizing a stare. "If I allow you to touch me, I want to clothe myself upon my own terms, meaning I want to be amongst my own company… You may keep your assistance to yourself, Roderich."

"Agreed…I'll leave you alone…"

"Thank you!" I stole his palms and covered my chest with those warm fingers, which moved from their positions as soon as they were assigned them. Those nimble tips stole my already firm nipples and kneaded gently, a riff of pleasure shaking my very constitution.

"Mmm…"

"You know, Elizaveta…We're going to have to make up for lost time. You'll be away from me quite a few days…"

"Ahh…"

His hands stole more of my breasts, offering me no time for his filthy tricks. He used his digits in the cruelest of ways at times, drawing perfect circles upon my flesh and capturing small cries of pleasure from my lips.

"Whatever you like…"

"Thank you…" Those palms sat upon my shoulders and a loving kiss was forced against my unsuspecting mouth. "Now please get dressed…I'll leave you alone."

"Come now…You begin to touch me only to stop moments later and tell me you're running away? How awful of you…"

"I know, Elizaveta…and I'd truly enjoy to stay and make all sorts of love to you, but we simply don't have the time. You'll have to leave me all alone in about twenty five minutes, and I'll have to miss your presence for entire days…" My susceptible mouth was taken into another embrace of pretty lips. "Please put on a gown, darling. Good-bye momentarily…"

"Good-bye momentarily, Roderich."

I was left to stand alone upon freezing marble with a phantom grace hovering around my cheek.

That man of mine…

Without Roderich keeping my attention, I forced my feet towards my wardrobe, the tired intoxication I had awoken with several times heavier. My impatient hands captured a dress and forced it over my flesh, all my nerves ringing in discomfort.

As soon as my feet were set within that carriage, any energy I was left with would fade as a dying tapper, and I would succumb to a weighty blanket of sleep.

The back of my dress went without its buttons connected, and my lonesome toes were left to the biting air, but I was too exhausted to be bothered with such ridiculous details. My bottom occupied frothy sheets, and my eyes closed. In what was meant to only be a simple moment of reprise, I was exposed to a fantasy world dyed in the richest hues, each one kissing my skin as different brands of ecstasy, my eyes only following that demonic morning light when my figure was close to falling from its post.

"Elizaveta, come alone…" Shoes occupied my feet and my attention was forced from my dreams lost in fantasy. "Your things are already in the carriage…Now we all we need is you…"

"Oh…" I was still drowning in a raging sea of confusion. "Thank you…" My heels came clattering to the floor as I was held into a standing position.

Before much could even occur to me, I felt Roderich's loving hands fasten all the little clasps my own hands had failed to. My cheek was given a sweet touch, and my palm was occupied by my little bag of things.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart…I'm so incredibly tired. I don't mean to be such a burden…" My words were becoming the statements of a drunken woman's, thoughts scrambling and colliding with one another in a vast typhoon of utter intoxication.

"It's alright, Elizaveta." My husband took my hand and secured me with an arm supporting my waist. "You'll be able to sleep the way there."

"Hmm…"

As I was placed within my portal to Vienna, Roderich placed a kiss goodbye upon my cheek, left so carelessly without rouge. He allowed my hand to once again be my own, offering me a minute smile and eyes welling with a sort of love and amusement.

"Thank you, Darling. I'll see you in a few days…"

"Of course, Elizaveta. Have a wonderful time…"

"I will…" My lips lazily smashed against the window, the freezing glass causing my nerves to jolt. "Good-bye…"

"Good-bye." He kissed back, an outline of affection a phantom upon the window.

As Roderich disappeared from my vision, my back pressed against the cushioned seat, my eyes immediately closing and my body accepting sleep.

My dreams were vivid, colors screaming their qualities, and beautiful men at either of my sides. The entire world could have easily been composed of candy, no amount of unpleasantness allowed to penetrate my happy little universe.

My eyes opened shortly before my carriage came to a stop outside my mansion, my feet eager for ground. I had been rocked as a poor child in the arms of a hateful nanny, my eyes having opened a few times by inconsiderate knocks in the road.

As I descended the carriage, my palm was taken within a servant's, preventing my body from spilling into the biting snow and sickness from overtaking my days here.

"Please be careful, Mrs. Edelstein. It's quite easy to fall…"

"Yes…Thank you…" Rest was still lapping at my nerves, and I had to be careful of my steps lost within layers of ice.

My things and I were walked to the door with great caution, the mat marking my independence.

"Thank you…" I told the young man who had helped me.

"Oh! Of course. Have a nice time…"

I took either case after the key had preformed its duty and walked inside. My greeting came from the barren stomach of my empty mansion, as it always had. The only thing truly holding my attention was my want of imagery in the form of unconsciousness.

I placed my bags by my feet and progressed forward.

"Mr. Weillschmidt? Are you here?"

My answer came in the form of an excited Prussian running towards me, afflicted my entire body with a warm embrace. Attention was brought to me, and I offered vocal amusement. Kisses landed all around my mouth and cheeks, turning every last flat they adhered to a cherry red.

"Hello…" My words came when my stomach calmed.

"Hello, Elizaveta…" More graces composed of love flavored by the sweetest of sugars. "Thank you for leaving the back door unlocked." A connection of orifices. "It's very cold outside…"

"Of course, Gilbert. I was certain you were tired of waiting whenever you arrived…" An even tighter embrace became his captor. "Merry Christmas…My goodness, I've missed you…" A kiss planted upon his jaw line. "I received your gift. Did you forget to send the key?"

"No. I intended to give it to you now…" He held my ears and gave an obnoxious display of love, a loud 'smooching' noise held between our mounds. "Did you forget your locket?"

"No." I laughed. "It's in one of those suitcases…I packed it away when Roderich wasn't paying attention. Would you mind if I took the key later? I couldn't sleep at all last night, I was so excited…and now I'd simply like to rest." I settled heavily into his arms. "Would you like to accompany me?"

"Of course, Eli…" He rested his head upon my crown. "I'm exhausted as well…"

"Then we can rest together." I adopted his hand into a kind grasp and momentarily shattered our embrace, leading him to my chamber.

He was quiet upon the risers, content with simply messaging my fingers. My feet slowed a moment to lay my lips upon his brow, arriving at the chamber only seconds later.

As I stood at the frame, my neck experienced a demure little touch, my mouth producing a glad curl.

"Thank you, Mr. Weillschmidt…"

"It's nothing, Mrs. Edelstein."

That Prussian of mine was first to sit upon my bed as I admired him as a god-like statue, my form still kept under the doorway. My feet shattered the threshold and my fingers came to my ears and began taking away my gold.

"You know, daring…"

"Yes?"

"You're very handsome…" My minute articles laid upon a polished wooden surface, shining in what little bit of evening light there was. "I just enjoy looking at you."

"Well, wonderful…I assume you won't object if I simply admire you…You're quite lovely yourself, Elizaveta."

My knees pressed upon the virgin sheets, their skin not yet shattered by our dreams, and I wondered to my darling, lying within his loving arms and coding him in an embrace of my own.

"Thank you, Gilbert." I placed a tinge of adoration upon his cheek and pressed my palm softly upon his warm chest. "I'm so happy I'm able to see you this Christmas…"

"I am too…" His voice was intoxicated by a deficiency of energy.

Another touch affixed to his visage. "Goodnight, love…"

"Goodnight…"

I sewed my lips together with a crimson thread and allowed him sleep, my own eyes shutting easily. Contentment brimmed within my stomach, and my head overflowed with joyous thoughts of my darling Gilbert. It was so wondrous to return to his arms…


	30. Chapter 30

As Mr. Weillschmidt slept at my side, his bottom lips sagging onto the pillow and a soft noise omitting from his tired throat, I knitted another pair of socks for Roderich. Their components were rich crimson yarn, skin taking form as my needles coursed through their deep fibers.

There was a whisper from the sheets as Gilbert cast his attention into the world around him, giving birth to a yawn and sitting up to submerge my working form into a passionate, sloppy embrace.

"Good morning, Love…"

"Good morning, Eli…"

My hands continued their quota as a kiss was fastened upon my cheek, red growing where his affection had been affixed. A hand captured my shoulders and more expression of his emotion came, my mouth shifting into a joyous shape.

"Gilbert, what do you want for Christmas?"

"Hmm…I don't know…What are you making?"

"Socks…I'll construct you a pair, if you'd like one. I'm truly getting quite skilled with my needles."

"May I have them in that color?"

"Of course. These will be yours when I've finished…"

"Thank you, Eli…Do you want anything else for Christmas?" His arms seemed to melt around my frame as if it were the warmest of suns. His very touch instilled shivers within my nerves and blood to come flowing under my eyes. "You liked your locket, didn't you?"

"Of course! It's one of the most gorgeous things I've ever received…How do you always pick such nice things for me?" I turned and caught a bit of flesh under my lips.

There wasn't an answer for my ears, but a kiss instead, his mouth gracing my lobe. Again, my face was directed to his and I connected our orifices, leaving my project to its own attention and holding his shoulders with my once focused fingers. What a glorious distraction. Our tongues came into a soft embrace, slipping past one another and curling as mating serpents.

Moments later the affection grown between our mouths faded, and my voice rose from the ashes of fallen passion.

"Mr. Weillschmidt?"

"Yes?"

"Will you accompany me today to purchase a tree?"

"An entire Christmas tree?"

"Oh, goodness no…Just a small sort of tree. It would be odd to simply stack the gifts in a large pile."

"Well, you could always compose a pile shaped like a tree…"

Humor filled my stomach. "As wonderful as an idea that is, I simply don't have enough gifts…"

"Well, then I'll simply have to come with you then, won't I?" Another embrace of warm reddened mounds. "We'll find the best damn miniature tree there is…"

"Wonderful! Just allow me to change into a different gown. This one has far too many wrinkles."

"Of course, darling…"

Our feet descended the stairs to retrieve the things I had stowed by the door, Gilbert stealing either case without as much as a word or a glance. I stared at him a moment, no response forming between those perfect lips.

"Darling, let me have one…" I protested. "They're my things…"

"No." The statement was simple, and before anymore thought was even allowed to mingle with the subject, my darling was moving from me.

"Gilbert, please…"

"No." His laughs, all of which were directed at me, were stifled under his breath.

A sigh from my party.

"No."

"I didn't even say anything!"

"I don't care. You're not going to carry a thing."

"Gilbert!"

"No!" We were placed upon the upper level and I followed him into my chamber, our steps at a close proximity.

"Darling, please…"

He offered no sort of acknowledgment.

"Darling…"

Before our bed, he handed me one of the two suitcases. "Alright. You may carry one now."

I simply regarded him as a man kept within an asylum, my cheek receiving a tinge of adoration.

"I love you."

"I know you do, Mr. Weillschmidt." My luggage was laid upon the bed, its innards opened to the air as a frog ready for the cruel knife of a dissection. I removed a dress as if it was an organ, and held it up to the light, rich burning sunset hues reflecting from it and casting color upon my face as paint to an empty canvas.

I was well aware of Gilbert, who hovered to the door, prepared to leave me. The other bag had left his hands and he stood there, as a respectable sort of man would.

"Gilbert…Come here and unhook all these ridiculous buttons…" I lowered my garment a moment, offering him clear sight of my back, still held in a tough embrace by a plethora of irritating little clasps.

"Of course…" His steps progressed slowly, those careful, yet powerful fingers coming to each one of my demons and pulling their teeth from each one of their places upon my flesh. My back became easily barren of fabric, and truly, there was no heed paid. A kiss came upon my ear, and I was left to my own hands.

Perhaps Gilbert wasn't a perfect gentleman, but he was so very considerate to me.

"Elizaveta…"

"Yes?" I relieved myself of my sleeves, giving my naked breasts to the cold air circulating around my form as an ancient wind, either of my nipples becoming affecting by the cruel temperature's touch.

"Would you like me to leave the room?"

"No…I suppose not…You're my lover, aren't you?" I allowed my freshly shed skin to slip around my ankles and my feet freed themselves of the silken prison I had been contained in, only to bind myself in another. "You've witnessed me just as my husband has…in that ugly night gown, in my finest clothing, and without any garments at all…Is there any point in hiding myself from you?"

"No. If there is, I certainly can't see it."

"No?" My limbs slipped through the newly acquired flesh, my chest placed behind a shield no pair of eyes could penetrate. "Well then, will you assist me with these buttons?"

"Certainly…"

My Prussian returned to my side, his toes just about licking my heels as he fastened each annoying little tooth upon my spine, his appendages stricken with a sort of plague that solidified them.

"Eli, have I told you that you're lovely today?"

"I'm certain you have…"

"Well, to be absolutely certain, you're lovely." As the last clasp was completed, Gilbert placed his arms around my waist and settled into my ridiculous cascade of shining golden brown tresses. "I wish you were mine, Elizaveta…"

"I am…"

"No…you're not…" My form was surrounded heavily, as if he let go, I would run as a timid rabbit from a formidable captor. "Because if you were, I wouldn't have to feel so guilty for wanting you so badly and loving you so passionately…Perhaps I would be able to spend Christmas with you as we used to…Eli, I _hate_ this…"

"I know, Gilbert…I hate it just as much…"

As if I hadn't given comply, he continued on with his sentiments, which seemed to be released more frequently and with even more fervor. "I'm sorry I didn't marry you…I'm sorry I couldn't…Sometimes I'm sorry I even love you this deeply…"

"Gilbert…"

"I truly wish every day could be this way…I wish you had come home to be mine forever, just as it was supposed to be, and we could have created a family together..."

"_Gilbert_!"

What statements were left desiccated within his throat.

"Shut your mouth…Please…Just shut up…" My wishes were given instant satisfaction. "You're going to make me cry, which even by your own standards, you're not allowed to do. So please…Stop."

"I'm sorry, Elizaveta…"

"It's alright…Why don't we outside a little while? You can smoke a cigarette and I'll have a taste of it…"

"Alright…And then we can select the best damn miniature Christmas tree this world has seen."

"That sounds fantastic…" My hand took occupancy upon his own, and our fingers twisted around one another's. "…I love you, Gilbert." A little grin modeled my lips.

"I love you too." He kissed my temple, his visage resting sweetly next to mine. "I'm absolutely mad about you…"

"I know. I feel the very same…Now, come along…"

After Gilbert and I had burned through a few cigarettes, we went out in our warmest coats and took our company into town, our gloved hands sewn together. I wasn't exactly sure of where I was going, and neither was the lover attached so loyally to me, but it didn't seem to be of even mild pertinence. Our chalices were brimming with a strange sort of joy, our bodies drunken simply on the other's attention.

We observed the snow blanketed buildings and all the children who had gathered outside in their mobs, hurling balls of compact ice at one another in a playful form of warfare. Our mouths bent into smiles, nostalgia rushing into our veins. For so many years, we had done the same, our wars of ice being too many to even be assigned a number.

Finally, our feet slowed outside a shop that had a plethora of small trees collected before the very building, almost as little soldiers bearing weapons constructed only of soft needles. A pleasant looking woman was their commander, standing upon the stoop as if it was a platform, a thick coat wrapped around her bountiful form and a sugary confection poking from her working jaws.

"Excuse me; are these little trees for sale?"

"Of course! Pick anyone you like!"

Gilbert and I walked into that miniscule forest, and studied each edition, our eyes searching for minor imperfections and healthy, bountiful branches, regardless of the size.

At the furthest end of the platoon of oddly configured soldiers, we found the best damn miniature Christmas tree the world had ever seen.

"…Gilbert, I think this one's the one…"

"This one? It's a damn good tree…"

"It certainly has my approval…What do you think, Darling?"

"This tree…" His chin rested within curved fingers. "It has the potential to be the best damn miniature Christmas tree this world has ever seen…" His slipped to the ground, knees bent and examining the specimen as if it was a rose entered into a competition of serious proportion. "I think you're right, Elizaveta. This is certainly the tree."

"Fantastic!"

Luckily, home wasn't so far from our current location. Gilbert decided he would bear the tree while I paid the woman, and with our business completed, our toes guided us in the direction of that lavish mansion.

"Thank you for carrying the tree, Gilbert…"

"It's not a problem, Elizaveta. I don't mind carrying heavy things for you…It's what I'm best for anyway, isn't it?" I was offered a smile upon a silver platter, the very gesture causing me the same dilemma. My lips, still well infected, pecked as his cheek as a small chick to an entire world of grain.

"You have to allow me to carrying something for you…That's two things you've carried for me today, and although you are quite strong and skilled at…" I couldn't name the skill.

"Pack-muling?"

"Yes, well…You said it, not I, darling. Anyway, even if you are a quite knowledgeable pack-muler, it doesn't seem right for you to carry everything for me…"

"Well, I'm not going to let you carry this tree…"

"That's alright…Just allow me to carry something…"

Gilbert's feet seemed to freeze, and the tree's base was planted before those frost bitten limbs while he rose and extracted two items from his garment's compartment. There was his small box of hand rolled cigarettes, and a golden key sitting upon the container's brow. The tiny golden article looked as if it belonged to the locket so carefully hidden within my suitcase of gowns. "There you are, Eli…You can carry those two things." The best damn miniature Christmas the world had ever seen was adopted back into his grasp, those strong arms supporting it as if its glorious weight was nothing but a sheet of simple parchment.

Our steps continued to scatter evidence of our whereabouts upon the snow's once flawless visage.

"Thank you, Mr. Weillschmidt…Is this the key to my locket?"

"Yes darling, it is…Merry Christmas." He expressed his frozen affection upon my apple, earning another curl of my own chapped mounds. "Feel free to open it whenever you like. Just be sure that husband of yours isn't around…"

"Of course. Thank you…" For a moment, I looked to my feet almost for advice, blood rushing madly into my face in a passionate storm of blush. "I'll be sure to work on your socks today…Would you like anything else for Christmas?"

"No, Not especially…"

"Are you certain? You must have paid a fortune for my gift."

"I don't care. I like to spoil you."

"But love, have you forgotten? I have a rich husband…I can get you something just as nice."

"Elizaveta, I truly don't desire anything. Please don't concern yourself. A pair of socks is simply perfect."

"Is it?"

"Yes. _It is_."

I tucked the key and cigarette box within my own pocket, my fingers to the other pouch and taking hold of my once cozy wallet and dragging it into the dim winter light and the badger-toothed cold. I opened it, glancing through its contents and removing a considerable amount, forcing it into the formerly occupied cavity of his coat.

"Eli…Take that out…"

"Take what out?"

"The money you snuck into my pocket."

"Whatever are you talking about?"

"Elizaveta, please."

"No. It's about time I finally gave you something in return for all of those lovely things you've sent…and if you give it back to me, however you're planning to, I'll simply throw it into my fire place and it will become useless to either of us…So, keep it."

"You really are a pain."

"I know. But it's out of love, Mr. Weillschmidt."

"I know it is, Eli…Thank you."

"You're welcome, darling."

When we arrived, the tree in all its little majesty was placed near the front door, and my Prussian's attention was handed to me.

"Would you mind if we leave it here for now?"

"Of course. I'll move it once I decide on a place for it…" I removed his box of cigarettes and returned it to him, those cold gloved hands accepting them in what almost seemed like appreciation. Despite the plant's size, it was nothing light.

"Thank you, Elizaveta."

"Oh darling, it was nothing…Thank you for carrying that tree." I kissed him upon the cheek. "Carrying the best damn miniature Christmas tree must be a heavy task."

"Well, someone must do it, Elizaveta. I'm proud I was able to bear the duty."

I was given another kiss, this edition taking a place upon my mouth. It was a gentle grace infused with a potent amount of love. I found my hand once again straying to those strong shoulders and my bottom lip giving admission to his tongue.

Gilbert's hand settled upon my waist and captured me closer as a spider calling in its prey, our tongues weaving together in pleasant motion, my mind submerged into a languid universe of intoxication. I began to melt within his touch, finding myself longing for more of these fatal moments…

"God damn it, Gilbert…You're a good kisser." Our organs stopped their dance only a moment for my words to escape, and once they had been born, our mouths connected as pieces to a lovely puzzle.

A thumb settled sweetly into the crook of my neck and my tongue was captured between those merciful lips and sucked upon gently.

"Ahh…" Hands struck nerves upon my hips and little moans were placed directly within my throat. "Gilbert…" I claimed my orifice back.

"Hmm?"

"What exactly are we doing?"

"I have no idea, Elizaveta…but it certainly feels good…"

My thoughts came as incoherent phantoms, and in my state, I took his body into my arms and allowed fingers to brush past those gorgeous snow white strands.

"Eli…"

"Do you want me?" I was nuzzled into his neck and branded his skin with a kiss of mine. "…Because I want you…even though I'm not allowed to have you…" Our pained glances exchanged those lovely messages of biting love.

"I'm sorry, Elizaveta."

I could feel my very brows bend. "…I am too."

How could something wrapped in such passion and total adoration be…_wrong_? I bared this awful affection for him as if it was some sort of punishment, my back breaking under all of the desire I wasn't allowed to feel. My heart was drenched inflames by his very appearance, and yet, whenever we were close the weight that had been killing me all this time became something unbearable.

Why was it so awful to need such closeness? I wasn't allowing this beautiful man so much of my very soul to simply harm Roderich. These actions were brought from my heart, my body, and my entire core…

There was a severe injustice to my own desires…

Why was it me who was crushed as a moth in a careless child's hand simply because I took exactly what I had wanted?

It was _mine_.

I had been so patient and this man was absolutely _mine._

This man, so perfect before me, owned almost my entire heart, and I had possession of his.

I needed him, just as he needed me.

With all of those thoughts, my eyes created alight mist around their rims.

"Darling?"

"Yes, Elizaveta?" Some amount of vapor was taken from my stoic features.

"I think we should go upstairs with one another…"

"Do you?"

"Yes." I clasped his hand within my own. "Yes, I do…"

"Well, alright…if you change your mind…" His thoughts seemed to wither a moment. "…please tell me."

"Of course…Gilbert?"

"Yes?"

"I love you…"

"I love you too."


	31. Chapter 31

Gilbert and I were wrapped around each other in searing afternoon light, our flesh naked and our lips connected at common links. Eyes had hardly been given to the freezing room, kept so warm by our night of affection, yet, we still managed to find one another in that mess of flesh.

I was truly awoken by his mouth touching softly to my neck, that tongue prodding at my defenseless flesh and forcing my attention to him.

"Oh Gilbert…" My hands laced through those gorgeous snowy locks, and for a moment, his orifice came to mine.

Our tongues curled around one another's with passionate saliva forming as a byproduct, our hands growing even needier, holding one another with little resistance.

"Eli…" I stole that organ between my lips and savored it as if it was a pastry.

Our nude forms seemed to meld a little more deeply, and hands slipped along my curves, mouths in communication by methods of filthy passion.

For a moment, we disconnected and Gilbert slipped along my body, nipping gently at my breast, my stomach and thighs.

"Ahh…"

He wasted no time easing those hungry fingers between my legs, my insides already moistened by his performance the previous night. He moved his digits in and out in slow patterns, blades sending loud pleasure all throughout my walls.

"Elizaveta…I love you…" I was told just before he pressed that wonderful tongue against my sensitive pearl.

"I love you too…a-ah…" I rested my hands upon his, which was exhausted upon my thigh as if my skin formed a cushion, inhabited by touch so gentle.

The two fingers offering so much of that ecstasy were removed and replaced with that persistent organ, lapping at me without any form of hesitation. He curled that little pink serpent and pressed it inside of me, causing me to cry in repulsive enjoyment.

"Ah! Gilbert!"

My leg was given a gentle grace just before those wonderful duties were continued at my clitoris, the tip of that skilled organ sending throngs of pleasure throughout every nerve, gasps screaming from my parted lips. My fingers closed around his palm, and I tried to prevent pain from my possessed grip.

My opening was coded from top to bottom, impeccable skill placing all sorts of feeling within my very blood.

"Gilbert…"

"Yes?" Another stroke.

"Ah…Please, use your fingers again."

"Of course."

His appendages sunk into me and caused even more moisture to drown them, their bodies dancing circles as he continued to press his tongue to those moist little areas.

The circles made by those considerate digits grew in circumference and I cried, feeling my climax approaching.

"Gilbert…I'm so close…"

For a moment, he ceased. "Would you like to finish?"

"No…" Those fantastic dancers removed themselves. "No…I want you inside of me when I come…"

I was given a sweet sort of smile. "Of course, darling…" A kiss seared my flesh and a moan was drawn from my throat.

"Gilbert, do you need me to do anything?"

"No…" His form lied upon my own, our lips once again in pleasant agreement. I could feel his length at my entrance, head prodding gently at my opening, well hard enough to come inside.

"Mmm…" The head of his cock carefully fell into my tunnel, the rest of that lengthily body preceding it and filling me completely. I wrapped my arms around his upper body and collapsed upon the pillow beneath me in utter ecstasy.

We shared a sweet embrace of the lips before he began to move those strong hips, coming in with extreme care at first and then growing slightly more reckless.

"Ah! Gilbert!"

Again, a moment came when I questioned the actuality of that moment, the contents being something only my dreams could produce.

I was so close to him…

"Ah!" My nails pressed into his flesh and my mouth opened, eyelids censoring my vision to the world spinning around me.

"Eli…" He entered roughly, producing another cry of shameless pleasure.

Gilbert stopped a moment to connect our lips, and as our mouths faded from one another's grasps, he pulled away with those beautiful hands grasping at my waist and quickly came back inside.

"Ahh…" My fingers curled, and I had to resist with great conviction from producing blood.

His body was so full of passion. That love radiated to my very core and filled my nerves with a sense of awful euphoria. Despite the chill of the room, my flesh was set aflame.

"Mmm…Elizaveta…"

His pace seemed to come to a slight deficiency, causing our joys to become something cosmic.

How whole we were…

"Ah! Gilbert…" The muscles between my legs contracted and I cried in heavy pleasure, holding my lover's body close to me.

"A-ah!" The frequency once again increased, this time for the sake of release. He slammed against my deepest nerves, my mouth still widening despite my own orgasm.

"Eli…" Suddenly, his body ceased, that unmistakable look raiding his visage, those gorgeous rubies clouded with complete satisfaction. "Elizaveta…"

As I adhered my lips to his, an awful shock afflicted the same blood that had just been affected by that wondrous euphoria. A clatter arose from the door.

Both Gilbert and I looked to the cause of the sound, finding my husband standing there, petrified, with eyes and palms wide. A roll of gorgeous ribbon unfurled about the floor, and the entire world, once revolving with such fervor, seemed to yield utterly.

For the longest time, we all simply stared at one another, Gilbert pulling away from me, leaving a bit of seed to stick to my opening.

"Roderich…What are you doing here?" My words were the very first to shatter that frozen universe.

"_What am I doing here_? I was able to come early because I finished all of my work! What in the hell is Weillschmidt doing here?"

"Oh nothing, Roderich. We were simply hobnobbing."

"Hobnobbing?! Get off of my wife!"

I was kissed upon the cheek as Gilbert descended our bed, so ruined by our love making. I covered myself with the wrinkled sheet, beginning to wonder if this horrid reality would be nothing but a nightmare.

"Elizaveta! What is this and why is Weillschmidt here?!" He looked as if he was about to pop from instantaneous fury, his chest heaving.

"I-" My voice was caught behind my tongue, and nothing inside my mind would form coherency. "Roderich, I…" I had to redirect my gaze, my entire body submerged in a dense pool of shame. It almost seemed as if he wanted to beat me, although I couldn't even assume to place blame upon him.

In that moment of silent rage, Gilbert found his trousers and slipped them around his legs, making his preparations to leave.

"Answer me you whore! What the hell is that Prussian _mutt_ doing here?!"

"Don't you call her that, you stingy bitch!" Gilbert came closer to Roderich, likely ready to truly beat him to a bloodied pulp.

"I'll call her whatever I like! She's my wife, currently my _whore_!

"And she shouldn't be! Do you have any idea how long I've loved her?!"

"No, and I don't care! Would you like to know why, you filthy son-of-a-bitch?!"

"Yes! Enlighten me!"

I watched in horror as they drew nearer to one another, their fists clenched into harmful little balls. I gripped the sheet in uneasy anticipation, afraid of the very predictable outcome of this situation.

"Because she's married to _me_!"

"Not if I tear your head from your neck!"

My husband became quiet a moment, his fury still leaking in the form of enraged shutters. "Get out! Get the hell out of my mansion!"

This time, Gilbert had nothing as a reply in the form of words, but answered with his knuckles bashing mercilessly into Roderich's face.

I wanted to cry out, but there truly wasn't anything willful enough to exit my lips.

Gilbert's fury didn't stop, his fists pumping into my husband rapidly and without any sort of regret. I could almost see Roderich attempting to fight back, but he was given no descent opportunity. Gilbert finished his barrage with a rough kick to the stomach that sent my bruised and bloodied husband well across the floor.

My voice finally came when I saw crimson leaking upon the boards.

"Roderich!" My hands covered my nervous lips and I looked to Gilbert, whose breathing had become weighty. No other words were given their chance at liveliness as we simply observed one another, as if a sort of subconscious message was created between our minds, yet no sense could even be located.

Again, with no audible communication, Gilbert began to fully dress his naked skin, the same skin I had given passionate marks to only moments before.

"Well, Elizaveta…I think I'll be going home now…" His eyes seemed to be full of stoic tears. Even as they fell from his chin, his visage retained those calm qualities. "I'm certain that pathetic husband of yours…" It seemed he was unable to finish. "Perhaps we'll be able to see each other again one day…"

I nodded, those same emotions grasping a hold of me.

This would likely be the last time we would ever lay our eyes upon one another…and if not, it would certainly be years before I could even witness Gilbert Weillschmidt.

No more letters, or gifts, or even tiny words of strong affection. Roderich would have a definite idea of where all of those shining statements arose. There was an identity for this 'secret admirer'.

I wiped the misery from my face and had to resist even more crystalline upset as he kissed me goodbye, on the tip of my nose, either cheek, my forehead and most longingly, my lips.

"I love you, Eli…"

"I love you too, Gilbert…"

His thumb stole salty emotion from my windows, and I was left with a bleeding husband inside a cold room.


	32. Chapter 32

I threw my letterbox into the molten grin of the fireplace, tears descending and landing upon my naked toes. I watched as those relentless flames devoured the case around all those beautiful words of love, and then sobbed even more profusely as the actual parchment was converted to sickly ashes.

My entire life had taken a radical dive in those few short, fatal moments.

Roderich refused to offer me any words, neither of hatred or love. I was left as a beggar with emptied hands and the finger so full of blame could only be directed at my bosom.

The only time those furious sapphires regarded me were in the evening, when we ate dinner, and usually my husband would take his food from its home upon the table and leave me to my own attention, his feet leading him to that study, where every last article of my own origin was torn from the walls and likely murdered in the same manner my letterbox was.

My rest was taken inside a different room. I spent my nights and mornings inside Roderich's secret room, usually falling to sleep with an emptied bottle of wine clamped within my fist and succumbing to alcohol induced dreams, malicious with fury.

Those nights were the very worst…Roderich filled my mind as water inhabits a damn. I still loved him, and could only think of everything I had bled dry for a few moments of stupid pleasure. All those evenings we had used together could have quite possibly evaporated forever, and no matter how intensely these shaking fingers searched within the ashes, nothing would ever be recovered; only a scathed wedding ring with diamonds that when touched became sad dust.

And when my nights closed, I would wake in the morning's light to brush the lies from my very teeth. It was as trying to bleach every little filthy untruth from my once pearly bones, only to fail every time and have bloodied gums and eyes misted by bitter regret.

All the certainly had been drained from my life…I was curious as to when I would be presented documents declaring our separation.

And when three weeks past, my nerves were well frayed, and I was ready for what little mercy he would have for me.

I found Roderich within his office, his form leaning upon the windowsill with a cigarette dangling between his lips, that once sweet mouth housed in a barrage of dirty smoke.

He had never actually used tobacco before, at least, not of what I had laid my gaze upon. It seemed this make shift addiction was construed of a document, shredded in half by careless fingers and modeled around a line of that fetid substance.

"…Roderich?" My tone came from a timid throat.

"What?" His focus remained on whatever lied within the glass of that window.

"May I talk to you a moment?"

"No. I'm busy."

I looked to the floor, those rigid words tearing what little confidence I had asunder. "…Have you begun to smoke?"

"Yes. But what do you care?" A collection of grey haze came from his open orifice and the cigarette was placed directly back home. "What the hell do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize."

"Well, good for you. It only took you three weeks. Record time, Elizaveta. Were you too preoccupied with selling yourself on the streets, or was it that you couldn't bear to look at me with a black eye and a torn lip? It must have been hard, considering all this hatred I have for you is simply brought on by yourself."

"Roderich…" My heart ceased to function a moment at the very word 'hatred'.

He _hated_ me.

"What? I have no time for lying whores." He stole a long drag from his cigarette and murdered it with a cruel beheading into the body of an ashtray, removing another victim directly from his pocket and moving to the fireplace, setting its visage aflame, those eyes drilling holes within my core with a vicious accusation.

"I…I just wanted to tell you that I still love you…" My eyes birthed a few droplets, but my features retained their shape. "And I'm sorry."

"Yes. You are. Get out."

I opened my mouth a moment to produce communication, but none was willing to come.

"Are you too stupid to understand simple German?! _Out_!"

I turned, wiping the crystalline emotion from my eyes, following those exact orders.

As the door embraced the frame at my back, I slumped upon the boards and sobbed, feeling crushing dejection and a sense of absolute hopelessness. He could hear me, and all of those words, built as knives, probably contained every last truth kept within that shattered heart.

When my tears had calmed, I moved to my new cage and sat upon that lavish red couch, carrying a head overflowing with upset thoughts, some built of self-inflicted anger and others composed of overbearing sorrow.

Perhaps he didn't care about words…As Mr. Weillschmidt had once said, words are cheap. Actions screamed far louder than any word could ever even attempt.

I could show him that I still loved him, in the very least…

I could make him pastries and socks and anything this mind could possibly produce. Laundry could be done and meals could be made, chores any normal wife would fulfill.

My feet propelled themselves from their lazy position and I went to the kitchen in a rage of sickening determination.


	33. Chapter 33

"Roderich?"

There wasn't answer, as there usually wasn't, so I simply opened the door closing me off from that study and brought my feet inside, finding that man sitting at his desk with tobacco rolled between those awful lips. A set of fingers submerged themselves within that still gorgeous thicket of midnight locks.

I had made him another cake, a duty I had assigned myself and preformed it as a dedicated soldier.

"Why do you keep bringing me cake?" He didn't even bother lifting his gaze from the issues crying before him.

"I simply want you to know that I love you…"

"No you don't!"

I placed the plate before him, disregarding his enraged protest and observed as he tilted the porcelain platter above the waste bin, the chocolate delight ever so carefully placed there creating desperate skid marks, trying so hard to keep from its descend to death.

"Roderich…"

"Stop making me cake. Every day, it goes into the trash. You're wasting your time and my money."

"I'm sorry…I know you love it…"

"If you want to make me happy, buy me tobacco. Until then, leave me be. I don't want to be near you any longer, and if I could have my way of it, I'd divorce you."

"I'm sorry, Darling."

"Don't you dare call me that!"

An uncomfortable silence corroded my stomach and ate a hole within my throat. "…Then I'm sorry, Roderich…" I turned to leave, certain he was finished with his sharp lashings.

"No, wait. It feels as though I'll have something to say to you."

I reversed my attention, my feet now pointing as a needle of a compass towards him. My hands curled before my thighs, and I waited, my lips retracting into my mouth and my stomach churning.

Moments came and died in the essence of eternity as words were scratched upon the flesh of innocent parchment.

And finally, my wait was given to the executioner; his sapphire attention searing that still writhing center, those windows covered by shutters heavy with pain and a sort of relentless anger.

"Why the hell did you sleep with Weillschmidt?" His brows tilted and lips scrunched into a frown. "Was it simply to stab me in the back or did you forget you made a life time commitment?"

"…It was neither of those things…I loved him."

"Oh, you loved him! _Fantastic_!"

I bit my lip to keep my own sharp remarks from slipping. "Roderich, I've known him ever since I began to speak. It wasn't an action meant for hurting you…" I kissed the floor boards with an empty gaze. "I, um…" Tears began to mold, partially from my current upset and from simple contemplation of the subject. "When I married you, I truly wasn't prepared to leave him…We had been in love ever since we were _capable_ of loving…I had cried more times than I could possibly count, and all over that man, just fathoming all the occasions I would miss him. I knew it would be like amputating a cardinal limb…and it was." My blades erased emotion from my eyes. "No…I wasn't trying to hurt you at all…I was simply so tired of hurting."

When he didn't speak, I did.

"I truly love you. I know you don't believe me and I can't blame you…but I love him too…You have no idea how extremely hard it is to give up someone you've known your entire life…The very thought that I might never see him again slaughtered me…"

I sobbed a moment while his careful eye observed, offering no form of consolation or jab.

"Roderich, you're usually a fantastic man, and in no way did you deserve this…but so much was ripped from my fingers, and I was weak. I was so weak…" Finally, I gave him my eyes. "But I love you. I love either of you…and this whole marriage just tore me into little pieces."

That solidified stare almost became malleable, but that short instance of understanding was murdered almost as soon as it came.

"So…That's my reason…No. It's not nearly a good enough reason to do what I had done…There is never one good enough reason to soil something so beautiful." My sleeve converted to a handkerchief. "…I'm sorry." A short moment instilled in silence. "May I please go?"

"Yes…Go."

And I left the room with liquid upset littering my face.

The next day, I abandoned the cake upon his desk and exited the room before anything more could be expressed. When one loses all of their heart's content and watching as it died upon the floorboards before their very feet, the core becomes venerable as a child upon its back under the point of a gun. Any more harsh words and I might become a pendulum hanging from a branch.

In one fell swoop, I had lost either man, and acquired a daily dosage of pain…

When I came the following afternoon and left another edition of sweets upon his desk, I was stopped with a hand upon my wrist.

"Elizaveta?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for the cake yesterday…"

"Of course."

And again, I left.

When I wasn't leaving treats for Roderich, I assisted the maids with their chores, allowing myself a heavy distraction. They regarded me as the type of filth one would find at the base of their shoe, of course, not throwing ugly insults directly into my face but by placing a bitter air around themselves as a blanket to shield winter's frost. They knew what I had done, or at least knew that I had done something awful, and my mere gaze struck uncomfortable nerves for either party, although my words to them were still kind and my tone was sweet as the cakes I constructed for Roderich daily. My title was no longer, "Mrs. Edelstein", but my very first syllables, something usually banned. Yet, so much of my life had become such taboo…I rather preferred to be addressed by my first name.

And finally, as I mixed a bowl containing flour, milk and eggs, silent tears made their way into the mix, coming to death within that graveyard meant to be so spectacular.

My mind had been placed within my home, not here in Austria, or even the comfort I had sold, but my cottage in Hungary.

Perhaps these little rogue tinges came because even my very thoughts had been converted to German, the language I had loved, abused and been oppressed by for such a very long time.

For even a moment, I had forgotten that my blood was Hungarian.

In that instance, I had murdered my grassy fields and sunny cottage; likely buried under ugly snow…I hadn't touched that country in so long.

I missed speaking in that endearing and yet distant tongue…

And my mind grew so weary of translating those awful ugly words from that Austrian's mouth. I was exhausted with dreaming, speaking and even thinking in that god ridden language…I was simply exhausted with Austria…

As the spoon combined the corpses of my emotions within the mixture, those lonesome words came, each roaring from my former life.

"I need to go home…"

The pastry that day was rich vanilla with cream surrounding its visage, pretty instances of fruit sitting around it, their colors reflecting upon the milky flesh of the actual dish.

I placed it before Roderich and played with anxious fingers a moment. No words slipped from that neutral mouth, but a gaze was directed at me.

"What is it, Elizaveta?"

"May I leave a while?"

"If you think you're going to Vienna, you might as well find yourself a comfortable asylum. I'm selling it."

"Please don't…"

"Why?"

"Because…when we love each other once again, you'll regret doing so."

"You stupid woman. How can anyone love someone when they so strongly detest them? Regardless, you're not going to Vienna. As I said, I'm resolved to sell it."

"I don't want to go to Vienna."

"Then where in the hell would you go?"

"…Hungary."

"Hungary? Why? To go speak that putrid language of yours?"

"German is far uglier than Hungarian. Its course and every last word sounds like a death threat. At least Hungary has its own language. It's didn't have to borrow its manner of speaking from another country. The last time I checked, I wasn't speaking 'Austrian'."

He regarded my entire being with a sort of hatred, that I tossed right back, my mind aflame with sharp and temporary loathing.

"That's right, Roderich. Anyone who talks to you will think you're a stingy little German. But Hungarians are Hungarians. There's no debate."

"Fine. _Go_. I've grown tired of looking at that ugly face of yours anyway."

"Huh. Funny. You've called be beautiful a plethora of times."

"Oh, _darling_! Did you think you were the only one with the ability to lie? How foolish of you. But who could blame you for thinking such things? You're nothing but a lazy bitch, aren't you?"

At that, my hand was thrown savagely against his cheek, tears birthed of fury growing upon my lids.

His fingers came to comfort the blotched side of his face, those eyes drowning in shock.

"Oh look, Roderich! Now your skin color fits perfectly. Just like a pig's ass. Why don't you allow me to fix the other side for you, so they match?"

"You're so lucky you're a woman, Elizaveta."

"No. I'm simply lucky you're a pansy." I smacked the other side of his face with just as much vigor, determined to knock his head from his neck. "At least Gilbert was a real man."

"You shut your whore mouth!"

"No! Shut your _fucking_ mouth a moment! Won't you?! For once in your goddamn life!" I was irate, my eyes already searching in desperation for possible glass to shatter. "I've been trying so hard to prove that I still love you, and I've tolerated each one of your ugly insults long enough! I'm finished! I'm _sorry_ I did what I did, but this entire ordeal has opened my eyes to what a pathetic piece of shit you are! I've apologized, I've made you cake, I've mended your clothes, and I've made you socks, only to watch you throw them away! To _burn_ them! I've explained myself, and every day, I try so damn hard to make relations between us better! _Yes_! I've made a god-awful mistake, and _yes_, you have every right to be upset! But _God damn it_! Are you even capable of forgiveness?!" I had to stop a moment for air to inhabit my lungs and offer me more life to utilize as screams. "I've considered _killing myself_ each and every time you've said those awful things, because without either of you, it felt like my life had absolutely no meaning! But do you know what I've come to find?! I've come to find that my life now has more meaning that your ever _has had_. You sit in this miserable office every damn day, giving yourself to work and divorcing every last woman you marry!" I was close to tears of utter passion, my limbs shaking as I let my mind come upon my tongue. "I had something. I had something full of so much _love_ before I had to sell it to you for an uncomfortable pair of heels and constricting dresses! You simply have no _inkling_ how happy I was before! And I wasn't even offered a choice! About my own _life_!"

The room was coded in angry silence, and I cleared my vision before more could even spill from my enraged orifice.

"I never wanted to marry you. I wouldn't give up what I have even if the entire world was offered to me upon a silver platter…and it was…but I was forced to take it. I was forced to have all of this, to have _you_…And I fell in love with you, Roderich. Which is why I want things to be how they were, even if they never will be…"

Seconds were occupied by tears.

"…But I've had enough...as any sane person would. And I'm certain you've convinced me to hate you…Once, you became so angry at my depression for our lost child…How is this any different, Roderich? Can you enlighten me? You apparently think I'm some sort of imbecile, even though I can speak two languages fluently and can read and write just as well as you can…"

Roderich Simply regarded me a moment, and had to turn his attention to the papers surrounding his desk.

"No…I'm not lucky I'm a woman. I'm not lucky I had to be subjected to a marriage I never wanted and give up my complete other half. I'm not lucky I had to tolerate near suicide inducing insults while trying with all of my heart to make things better, while you sat back and threw them at me like knives…I would take a beating every day, even in this body, if I could only have what I had before."

Finally, out of all those hatred-induced weeks, a gentle word was spoken.

"Elizaveta…"

"I hate you, Roderich. I hate that you've stolen everything from me, and I hate just having to look at you…I simply _fucking_ hate you." I removed that faded sorrow from my vision. "I wish you would divorce me. _Please_. Set me free from this hell we've created. Because then I could have what I've wanted all along. I would have Gilbert Weillschmidt, twice the man you'll ever be…Perhaps he can actually give me a child, not like you…Too busy to even make love."

A hard breath was obtained.

"I hope you kill yourself, Roderich Edelstein. I'd cry tears of furious happiness to see your body swinging from a tree, or to see a knife in that aristocratic throat of yours…_Anything_…Maybe even a gun in your mouth and your brains embellishing the walls behind you…I don't even care." More emotion came. "I truly don't. You've managed to destroy the love I had for you, which I thought was so very strong…but you tore it to pieces and threw it right into my face as acid. You had every right to be upset…but _dear God_, Mr. Edelstein.

He couldn't even bare to exchange gazes with me.

"Dear God…" I simply stared, unwilling to feed this man any more of my strength and pride.

Moments ticked away.

"…I'm not a whore, Roderich…"

And more.

"Why don't you allow me to go back? I won't be a problem to you any longer…I'll never return. We can simply live our lives the way they were before, and we can simply pretend all this love, and pain, and passion, and _hatred_ never even occurred, and both be happy. We can still remain married, for the sake of this god-ridden country…But we'll never have to glance at one another again, and I'll become a problem for someone other than yourself."

"…I wasn't happy before you came."

"Have you ever been happy?"

At that question a sob broke from his lips and shattered what little calm there was in the air. Those glasses came from those pained eyes and the lower part of his face was covered to hide his shame and sorrow. Tears burst from those once heavily admired windows, just a few moments ago inhabited by the same hatred bleeding onto his palms. Perhaps some of that fierce detest was transferred to my own body, and still took an easy occupation within my stomach.

He was _sobbing_.

"Just let me go."

"I'm sorry, Elizaveta…"

"Well, good for you." I felt my brows bent under the weight of all my pain, drenched so heartily in rabid fury. "I still want to leave you…and I still hate you…Let me back. Keep my dresses, my shoes…sell them. I'll never wear them again."

We became nearer to silence as Roderich cried, and for minutes in end, I waited with so much tolerance for an answer, my fists desiring to beat him into an ugly oblivion.

"Alright, Elizaveta…You may go home…" His eyes were wiped clean.

"_Thank you_." My tone was full of quivering sarcasm.

"I'll have your things packed by the end of this week, if you decide to change your mind and stay…" A shaken finger brushed past his nose, taking away a bit of mucus. "I'm so sorry…"

"Again. _Good for you_."

I turned and left.


	34. Chapter 34

So, I returned to Hungary. No good-byes were even allowed so much as an attempt, at least not from the end I stood upon.

We simply divided, as moist cake beneath a warmed fork.

Although I was left with a foul taste within my mouth, and my heart was engulfed by an inferno built of unadulterated rage, some part of me, although very small, was still shattered and left upon the freezing floorboards.

I located my little cottage, which seemed so dark in its veil of saddening snow and lavish time. Everything was left the same from the very instance my touch had graced this once sacred home, from the sheets upon the bed, remaining unmade, to the pots and pans hanging within my kitchen. The only thing that had truly been affected by the year's impatient hand was the dust upon the floor, having reproduced in my absence.

And for the first time in the longest time, my bottom inhabited the end of my bed and I glanced into my reflection, as I had on my wedding day. The only thing I observed was a woman who had been compromised, shaken down and beaten by binding obligations.

She wasn't the same person she had been. Her eyes were lidded heavily by a sort of exhaustion and her face held steaming tears of complexities perhaps no one could comprehend.

The only use for her broken marriage was pain…If she was told by some earthly sign of what was to become of her, she would have ran with a blood curdling scream arising from a tired throat, and she would have never even turned to look back upon the burning city she left behind.

After cleaning my home, removing the dead corpses of insects and getting the dust that seemed to affect everything from my palace's flesh, I put my presence within the town, seeing each of those familiar buildings and even a few faces my mind's eye had come to know.

I entered a pastry shop I had been in several times before, and as my feet shattered the threshold, the entire world seemed to freeze over as if an instant ice age had struck.

It was as walking inside a dream, so lacking in sane comprehension. All of the faces I once kept somewhat close to me had vanished and were replaced by new sorts of phantoms, and it was as if the entire structure had been transformed, even though the building, and even the placement of the tables and chairs remained just as they were.

For the longest hour, I simply accepted a place near the window, with nostalgic light filtering inside, and thought.

And tree days later, I took a job there, baking cakes.

It was healing to have something my mind could devour, keeping it from occupied and away from all the things I had lost, even though I was indeed dirtying y fingers with the same treat I had constructed for Roderich…

And I would return in the nights to an empty home, occasionally with crystalline film embellishing my eyes.

At times, letters to Gilbert would be constructed, only to be torn to its death moments later. I had placed enough destruction upon my relationships with these fingers, as well as those dark words illuminated that unscathed parchment. It was over…As it should have been so very long ago.

One night I had finally located the strength to jam that key into that shining golden locket, the only article of jewelry I had kept from either of my former lovers.

And within its well carved interior laid a shimmering circlet, constructed with perfection's very passion, diamonds in the form of tear drops lying so comfortably upon its gorgeous visage. Below it was a small instance of paper, folded four ways and pressed carefully, something Gilbert would only perform had he been serious.

The jewelry was kept warm within my palm a moment as I removed the note, exposing its insides to the dim candlelight keeping my eyes from a degree of blindness.

I read it over maybe a thousand times, the message of simple composure, but the words injecting bitter pain within my heart and longing for something unidentifiable with my throat.

It spoke so simply, "This would have been your wedding ring."

Those seven little words dragged my tears into the next sunrise.

There would be times I would wear the ring as closely as my flesh and others when it would sear the same nerves it caressed. That sort of pain would usually only occur when my guilt strangled me, and I missed having Roderich at my side, although I might never admit it.

…Because…despite what I had said, some part of me would always be so strongly adhered to him, and so seduced by the idea of his love…

Our hearts had been nearly linked together, and our love was something deep as a fatal river…

How can one not yearn for such a phenomenon?

Once I had settled in, my days were robbed of their mild fascination and replaced by a murderous sort of numb. The little color I had within my jar of hopes became grey and even my very movements became something mundane. Occasionally, there would passionate flashes of rage and depression, even relief that I was no longer being taunted by harsh Germanic words…but that was rare as a flood in times of drought.

And I was certain that there would eventually be nothing.


	35. Chapter 35

As I sat beneath my tree, my dress and legs melting the snow around them, eyes closed and my vision was taken from me. That grey sky, pretty blue paint covered by a strong white cloth, cried flakes that fell around me in a light flurry.

At the sound of crunching frost, I brought my attention to a little cat who threw itself against my leg, determining its momentary sanctuary. Its head lifted and a tiny sort of yell was projected to me in what could possibly be upset, icy blue dying those windows that sat against a deep black coat.

"What's wrong with you dark haired men, always yelling at me? What did I ever do to you? It seems to me that you came here and lied down by me, certainly not the other way around. Perhaps it should be me who's yelling."

Nothing exposed itself from that small kitten mouth. Rest was simply continued with slow breathing, my clothed leg being used as a sort of pillow. I took it from its place, receiving comply in the form of a high pitched scream.

"Who are you, little one? You remind me of that damn husband of mine, so I automatically don't like you…and you yelled at me for no reason…so I really don't like you. But you are cute, so I suppose that makes you alright."

The animal was placed within my lap, it's pretty dark locks automatically stroked by my hungry fingertips, little patched of fur in complete disarray. Did this little creature have a home, or even a mother desperately seeking its return?

"Do you have a name?"

That little darling curled into an adorable sort of ball and released a heavy breath of air.

"…Because, if I could name you, I think I'd call you Oswald. You remind me of an Oswald." Of course, the cat said nothing, a soft purr arising from its minute body.

"Alright, then. You may be called Oswald. My name is Elizaveta." I shook its sweet paw, not yet grown in the least. "It's nice to make your acquaintance and now that we have made each other's acquaintances, and I've given you a name, we must be friends…Besides, you seem like a nice young gentleman, Oswald."

The obnoxious growls coming turned even more profuse, and I determined without any form of doubt this miniscule animal would belong to me.

"Don't you worry. I'll take care of you. You'll be fed and…Well, I'll likely grow to love you…likely. But I can't make a single promise." My digits past that perfect triangular ear, sending definite warmth directly to my chest. "Alright…I'll love you."

Oswald allowed my hand to roam under his chin, and for a moment my mind returned to Austria, for whatever odd reason…and I pondered, what was Mr. Edelstein doing at this moment?

Had he found an odd little kitten to direct his attention to, or had he simply wrote another forty pages on the topic of nothing?

Was he thinking of me, or had he let it all to dust?

…Was his body dangling from a tree?

My thoughts were broken by a small pair of teeth clamping upon my index finger.

"Ow! Why must you hurt me, little one?"

I was given a defiant squeak with the continuation of purrs, Oswald rolling onto his back with those lovely blue eyes hiding themselves under a tight veil.

"Yes, I think I'll find it hard to be angry at you for long…Just please keep those little fangs inside your mouth and we should make fine friends."

That tail, far too long for the body it was connected to, smacked against my hand. My grip took him gently from my lap and I led a kiss upon that cute kitty nose, carrying him inside moments later to ease the hunger crying within my middle.

For long periods of time, I would observe as Oswald explored my home as some sort of wonderland, his paws grasping onto my furniture with complete curiosity within those eyes. I only stopped him when he would ride the curtains, peeling his little claws from the fabric and trying not to bring him pain as I did so.

Finally, he crashed upon my bed and slept as a baby who had rid itself of all energy.

I watched him sleep, those adorable whiskers smashed carelessly below his cheek and a fresh pink tongue curling from his mouth.

It was beyond difficult to keep my hand against my thigh.

"My goodness, Oswald, I'm falling for you." As my fingers came towards that tiny ear softly, my mind once again seemed to wonder to Roderich's side.

What if he truly had killed himself?

I had screamed such cruel things…and now that I could step away, thanks to time's indifferent grasp, I truly didn't mean them. I was upset with him…Likely, even more than upset. But he didn't deserve death, especially by his own hand for something I had brought.

Roderich was so very wrong…But he wasn't alone in his mistakes.

Perhaps I should have given more…

And yet, perhaps I shouldn't have given at all.

Oswald's azure eyes opened and sent a shot directly into my core with definite precision.

"I might as well call you Roderich…" The words came inside a voice deeply afflicted with pain.

My pet relaxed against my touch, eyes shutting once again.

Gently, I lifted him from the nest he had made and held him within close proximity as I cried, tears sliding from my eyes to the frame of my face. Those droplets were lapped up by a rough tongue and almost with a tinge of care.

"Thank you, Oswald."

My new darling offered kind comply, and I allowed my touch to wonder upon his back.

"I'm sorry I told you I might not love you…That was cruel and completely unnecessary."

As my sorrow was offered an odd from of comfort, I thought of Roderich and how my core simply _yearned_ for those nights filled with passion, and days filled with affectionate flirting.

I grew tired of my lonesomeness. Nearly two and a half weeks had past, and for nearly each and every day, I was trapped within my own head and a new prison.

This wasn't my home. I had grown so comfortable in that gorgeous mansion, bound in a pair of uncomfortable yet glorious heels and a silken dress…It was so easy to be around that handsome man, living such an easy life filled with warmth fueled by adoration.

This once cozy little cottage could hardly be called my home…

My home was in Austria, inhabiting the arms of that broken man.

I wanted it back…I simply wanted my _everything_ back.

I lied upon my bed, the entire room overpopulated with the lightlessness of night, and I sobbed, desiring my husband, who might very well be in a lavish coffin underneath cold earth…


	36. Chapter 36

He stood before my threshold with an idiotic sort of expression upon his face, lips scrunched into a confused line. A pretty bouquet of flowers was cradled within his hands, each one a crimson rose that had the appearance of being freshly bought, dew adorning their lovely little faces.

"How did you find me?" Those were the first few words to him after close to three weeks of painful separation.

"Before we were wed, I was given your address…I assumed you would be here."

"Well…It was a well-educated guess." I crossed my arms and looking to his feet in a sort of discomfort. "What did you come here for, Roderich?"

"I wanted to apologize…for everything."I was handed that collection of lovely blushing jewels, and adopted them after an awkward moment of hesitance. "It wasn't fair that obligation stole everything from you…of course, very few things in this life are fair, but that simply constitutes as wrong…" These words were framed with extreme difficultly, yet he kept digging for them. "What you had done truly hurt me…I can't waste time denying that…But I truly loved you, Elizaveta."

"I know you did…"

"And that's why…I felt as if I couldn't give you any kindness…At times it was difficult to be so cruel. I was beginning to forgive you, but I wouldn't allow myself to do so. I thought if I had, it would be like admitting it was alright for you to do such a thing…And I'm sorry. I realize now that I should have allowed myself that forgiveness…"

Instances of silence past.

"Yes…well…" Thoughts took a moment to process. "…It would have been nice."

"Yes." He took in a minor breath and his words progressed. "You're not a whore… You aren't stupid, and certainly not ugly. If I missed anything of what I had said, I didn't mean any of it. I still love you, Elizaveta…and I didn't sell Vienna."

"Well…I'm glad for you. It's a very nice mansion." Again, there were tears boiling behind my eyes that I wouldn't allow into the sun's graces. "Is that all you wanted to say?"

"No. It's not." I could almost hear the words being put together within his mind. "Will you become my wife again, Elizaveta?"

"I never stopped being your wife…"

"Well, then will you come back with me and be my wife in Austria? Unless you're with Gilbert now…I won't tear you away from him a second time."

"No…I'm not with Gilbert. We haven't spoken since I saw him last…But why do you want me back? You're an attractive man with plenty of money. You can have any woman you like."

"Then may I have you?" One of my hands was stolen with gentle intent. "Elizaveta…You're the only woman who's made me happy in my entire life…and you're well aware there have been plenty of them…I know it might be difficult at first. It's hard to fix a shattered vase…but it can be done." A bit of emotion leaked onto his cheek, those gorgeous features still the same. "We can begin again…We'll simply know more about one another…Have we changed so drastically that we're incompatible?"

I placed my scarlet collection of roses near my feet and came back to wipe away those few tears adhering to his visage. "No…I think we've just been hurt. Before you say anymore, I'd like to apologize, again…for even putting us in this position."

"Well…It's not as though I hadn't helped."

"…If you're sure of taking me back…" I had to absorb those eyes, brimming with honesty and almost a tinge of desperation. "I won't do such a thing ever again…You're very dear to me, Roderich. It's been nothing but…_misery_ without you, and I wouldn't dare lose you again. I can't promise there won't be hard times…but I'd be more than willing to call you my only man." Our hands were still woven together, and I continued the knot with my fingers winding so softly around his. "Did you come here upon an impulse?"

"No…I thought about coming after you the moment your feet left my door…But naturally, I needed to do more thinking than simply following you. I'm certain you would smack me again."

We exchanged sad grins.

"But as the weeks past, I discovered that we…had something. And it was something I hadn't had before. It was so warm around you…for the very first time; I could say honestly that I loved my wife. And despite all the things I said, I still admire you." We observed each other a long moment, our gazes connecting as cardinal pieces to a complex puzzle. "And I thought so long about what you told me…Even just losing you, someone I had adored only about a year and half was…_unbearable_. I can't even fathom the impact it would have if we had known each other since we were small…I don't condone what you did, as I shouldn't…but there was at least a reason, opposed to simple recklessness."

"Yes…"

"I think we were both given an unfair lot. You were taken from the man you loved, and the woman I loved was taken away from me…Well, perhaps she was never truly mine in the first place." A few more droplets my sleeve stole away. "But if our marriage can survive this, I doubt that anything else will be even a small concern…I think we're certainly worth a second chance."

"Yes…We are." With a soft tug, I pulled him through my door frame, both my hands resting with a certain conviction upon his own. Our bodied were closer, and I could feel the very vibration of upset put off by those stunning azure jewels. "I love you…" I told him.

"I love you too, Elizaveta. May I embrace you?"

"I would highly suggest it."

Without even a moment for rational thought, I was pulled into a passionate embrace, and for the longest time, we allowed those little embers of passion to mar our faces while we basked in one another's arms.

The wounds created by either of our awful knives began to heal, and our cutlery, grown so sharp by hostility and pain clattered upon the ground and shattered as sensitive glass.

When we finally came apart, wiping the tears from our stained cheeks, I raised my voice for a final round of negations.

"Roderich, I'll easily leave with you tonight…but on two conditions."

"Of course, darling."

"The first is that I'd like to write a letter to Gilbert, saying goodbye. That will be the only letter I'll send to him in the future…I don't have any plans of continuing on any form of relationship, but…It would be best to say goodbye properly."

He considered it for a weighty moment, eyebrows dented beneath a light furrow. "Well, alright. What of the second condition?"

"I'd like to take Oswald back with us."

"Oswald?" There was an automatic air of skepticism.

"Yes…He's my little kitten…I adopted him recently, and we've become friends. I'd be depressed if I had to abandon Oswald."

A moment passed under stifled laughter. "Well, I'm sure something can be arranged." The ends of his lips curled minimally in a tinge of amusement.

"Thank you, darling." His ears found placed between both thumb and index finger. Slowly, I brought my lips to acquaint his and we kissed with a sort of innocent admiration. "Thank you for everything…especially for coming all this way to return to me."

"You made it sounds as if it was an option."

We smiled to one another a moment and once again, I found that heart of mine fluttering.

"Come along, Roderich…I'll need a vase for these roses." I adopted my flowers from the floor's cool hold, and gave my eyes back to my husband, as well as my love.

"Of course, Elizaveta."


	37. Epilogue

Things were difficult at first, just as they were expected to be. Awkward moments occasionally came and went as they had been in the earliest days of our marriage, and others were drenched in sharp rage, followed by the cool forgiveness of love.

But we still found ways of happiness with one another. Roderich had been correct. If our adorations could survive such a powerful schism, then we could face any kind of evil.

Gilbert no longer sent me letters, trinkets, or even the occasional photograph. I was nearly crushed to little pulpy sections, but as I should have from the start, I swallowed my despairs and duties as bitter medicine, usually with tears illuminating my eyes.

At times, I would yearn to see him, and was given a bit of comfort from Roderich, who knew exactly why I was writhing in my emotional upset. He never bothered with prying. I was simply held as kisses found a place upon my brow and fingers wiped away those burning droplets.

Some part of him always remained with me, however. A character such as Gilbert Weillschmidt could never be erased, even by something as overbearing as time.

Secretly, I would wish for an instance of meeting, but accepted that I was simply bound to another by heavy chains that would likely remain a long duration. I decided to allow such childish things alone, and gave them up, even if it did bring me discomfort within my core.

But despite those little pains and occasional fights, we adored one another and were ecstatic to be in one another's very presences. There were times when words didn't even need to be utilized. I could nearly read that man's thoughts as words written inside a journal.

We were wed fifty-one years…

Our hearts had grown so fondly together, the mere mention of divorce simply didn't register correctly.

It was something intangible.

When Roderich told me we had lost the war, as well as our marriage, it felt as if the entire world and all its weight had grinded my bones flat.

"Well…You'll allow me to visit, won't you?"

"Darling…You'll be required to visit for at least months at a time." We stared at one another a long moment, thoughts transferred between us as signals through a wire. "…Elizaveta, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know…fifty-one years is quite a long time…I'm not sure if I can even function without you at my side…"

"I know…It'll be like walking without legs."

"Well…I'll come for months at a time…Who knows, love? Perhaps you can visit me…"

"Perhaps I will."

And depressing smiles were exchanged.

As we went to sign those awful papers, we dressed ourselves in our wedding garments, which had become antique under the weight of those weighty fifty-one summers. Our arms were connected at the elbows, and as we walked, it was almost as if there would be no divorce. Instead, wedding bells should have ringed loudly and with clear tones. I was almost convinced it was our wedding day; our feet moving down those long corridors, unchanged even after all that time had come and gone. We spoke softly as old friends, nearly oblivious as to what would come.

But even though our marriage was broken, no piece of paper could even lay a scratch upon our affections. It's truly ridiculous, as if we were expected to simply fall out of love the moment our names touched that ugly dotted line.

But even years after that day in 1918, we behaved as married people, so buttery in one another's treatment. I strongly held to my heart the belief that Roderich was a sort of soul mate, the kind that obligations written on weak pieces of parchment could never even attempt to tarnish.

For the longest time, I felt as if I had been a slave to my fate, the unluckiest woman placed upon the earth's soil…But I had been blessed. I was given a man who I couldn't leave and who was incapable of leaving me. I harnessed the opportunity to scream the truth, "I adore my husband," which so many women are never able to even speak without the taste of a lie upon their tongues.

Even when tragedy struck as a lightning bolt with intent to murder, whether it be war or forced 'separation', we remained together as two links within a diamond chain, unbreakable regardless of how aggressively it is thrown upon the ground.


End file.
